


Summer of Learning

by Rckyfrk



Category: Sean Patrick Flanery - Fandom
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-02-21 18:54:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 86,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2478848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rckyfrk/pseuds/Rckyfrk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine if Sean Patrick Flanery was your dad's best friend and ended up teaching you everything you needed to know about sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a lazy Sunday toward the end of summer break. This was my last summer vacation before I headed off for college. Dad had invited his best friend Sean over to watch the ball game and have an impromptu bar-be-cue. Despite the noise coming from the living room of my family watching the game, the smell of the meat cooking outside, the sounds of everyone enjoying themselves, I just wanted to be alone. In just over two weeks, I’d be going off to college. I should be excited, but all I could feel was worry and anxiety. It wasn’t the school part that had me worried. I’d always loved school and did well in all my classes.

No, the problem was the after-school part of being at college. I was going to be living in the dorms, with a roommate I still had yet to meet. There would be parties and rushing for a sorority and different clubs and groups...and guys. Guys who would be living in the same dorm as me. And _that_ made me nervous.

I had snuck up to my room, just wanting to be by myself for a while. Maybe it was just nerves getting to me, or the pressure of the unknown, of what was coming with my going to college. I was sitting on my bed, looking through my school yearbook, reading through all my friends’ signatures, reminiscing over the last four years.

I heard footsteps coming from the hall. Dad’s friend, Sean, started to walk by my bedroom before double-taking and poking his head in. He had shaggy, sandy blond hair that hung just long enough to reach his bright green eyes.

“Hey, sweetheart. Whatcha doin’ up here by yourself?” He leaned his arm against the frame of the door, showing off his lean muscles peeking out from beneath his shirt sleeve. No one could say the man wasn’t handsome, but it felt weird for me to notice. He was my dad’s best friend; I’d known him all my life. He was old enough to be my own father, and I shouldn’t be thinking like this, but I couldn’t ignore just how hot he was. He had a long, lanky body, a baseball player’s build. How that man had stayed single, I’ll never know. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts before answering. For god’s sake, it was Sean! I shouldn’t be thinking this way!

“Hey, Sean. Just kinda wanted to be alone for a while.”

“Everything okay?” he asked as he gingerly stepped into my room, sliding his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah...just kinda nervous about school.” I closed my yearbook and tossed it off the bed and onto the floor.

Sean leaned against the door frame again, hands still in his pockets, and crossed one leg over the other. My eyes were drawn to the bulge between his legs. I quickly looked away, hoping the blush on my cheeks wasn’t too noticeable. “Nah, you’ll be fine. Trust me you’ll have a blast. Meet all kinds of new friends, go to parties...”

“Well, that’s what I’m nervous about,” I said shyly. “You know I’m not super popular. I don’t go to parties and stuff. I don’t exactly make friends easily. I’m just a big ol’ nerd. What the hell am I gonna do?” I dropped my head to rest my forehead on my knees and pulled my arms around my legs.

Sean crossed into my room and gently sat on my bed and ran a soothing hand over my back. “Hey...hey, don’t freak out. You’ll be fine. A sweet girl like you, you’ll have ‘em eating out of your hand in no time.” I gave him a look that showed just how much I bought into that line of bull. He chuckled, “College is about...defining yourself. If you don’t wanna be a wallflower anymore, don’t be one.”

“But that’s just it. I’m used to being a wallflower. I don’t really know any different. I don’t know how to blend in with the ‘cool kids.’ Sean, I’ve never even kissed a guy,” I blurted out, blushing furiously my spontaneous confession.

Sean looked shocked, “Really? Are you kidding me? A cute girl like you? What about that Shane guy? I thought he was always hanging around with you.”

I shook my head, “No...we’re just friends. I don’t think he’s really into my type anyway.”

Sean rested his hand on the bed behind me, leaning his weight on his hands outstretched behind him. “What, he’s not into the cute, funny, smart, blue and blonde type?” he asked. My pulse picked up when I realized he’d just called me cute...twice.

I looked right into his eyes. “He’s gay, Sean.”

“Oh,” he said, letting all the pieces fall into place, then nodded. “That would explain a couple things.”

I giggled at that and caught his smile in return. “I just don’t want to go to college and not have even the slightest clue as to what to...do.” I snorted and shook my head, “If only there was a summer class or something. I could just study my way through on how to party and make friends and...stuff.”

Sean looked at me for a long time, neither of us saying anything. He was clearly working something out in his brain, but his stare was starting to make me squirm. Finally, he broke the silence, his voice suddenly low and husky. “C’mere.”

I felt my ears turn red and my heart about skipped out of my chest. I raised an eyebrow at him, “What?”

He jerked his head to the side, “Just c’mere.”

I scooted closer to him as he sat up to meet me in the middle. He reached up and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear as he licked his lips. Before I knew it, he was leaning forward, pressing his lips to mine.

I swear my heart stopped. The kiss remained just a simple kiss, just a meeting of our lips, then he pulled away. I blinked my eyes open, wide with surprise as I looked at him again.

“See? Nothing to it,” he said, looking much calmer than I felt.

I swallowed my heart out of my throat and took a calming breath before saying, “Well, I’ve done that. I mean I don’t know how to really kiss a guy, like with...tongue.” I played with my fingers nervously in my lap, not moving away from him.

“Alright,” he said after a moment. “I wanna...I’m gonna kiss you again, and we’ll go slow. If you want to stop, we’ll stop. Otherwise, just do what feels good.”

I took in a shaky breath and nodded, hardly believing I was doing this. I love Sean, he was practically part of our family, and I had never thought of him romantically – he was more like an older brother or an uncle. I mentally shook the thoughts from my head. This was Sean. He’s dad’s friend, but I considered him a friend, too. And now we were apparently friends that kissed.

His hand came up to cradle my cheek, his thumb brushing across my lips, then rested my chin in the space between his thumb and pointer finger. He leaned in and kissed me again, pressing firmly against my lips. I returned the pressure and felt his lips move against mine. I felt his tongue brush against my lips as his finger and thumb applied just the slightest pressure, opening my lips to receive his tongue. I gasped against his mouth, at the sensations he was causing inside of me. I suddenly felt a strong urge to kiss him back, and pushed my tongue into his mouth.

He pulled away from me right away. Oh god, what did I do? I looked at him, worried and embarrassed. Was I a bad kisser?

He dropped a quick kiss on my lips before murmuring, “Gently, sweetheart. Gently.” He kissed me again, his tongue immediately seeking mine. I tried to focus on what he was doing inside my mouth, losing myself in the feeling of kissing him, but at the same time wondering how I was supposed to breathe? His tongue caressed mine, softly, tasting me, and I swear my toes were curling in on themselves. I hesitantly tried again, copying the movements he had just done.

I twisted my tongue around his, gently as he’d told me, and felt him move against me. I heard him softly groan into my mouth, his low voice doing a number on my nerves...and my panties. I was disappointed and relieved all at once when he pulled away again. “Put your hands on me,” he whispered against my mouth.

“I don’t know where to put them,” I said, feeling stupid and awkward.

He reached down and gently took my wrists into his hands and guided them around his neck. “Start here and see where they go. Just do what comes natural.”

I nodded as I felt him slide his arms around me, his hands resting on the small of my back. I leaned in to kiss him again, our tongues coming together right away. Without even thinking about it, the tiniest moan escaped from the back of my throat. My fingers tested the skin along his shoulders, feeling the muscles lying just beneath them. Feeling brave, I threaded my fingers into his hair with one hand and dropped the other to rest on his strong chest. “Like this?” I asked between kisses. He just nodded and smiled against me, wrapping his arms around me tighter. His large hands almost covered my back as he brought me closer to him. My fingers grazed the skin revealed by the V-neck of his t-shirt, brushing along his collar bone and down to the patch of exposed chest hair. I heard him groan again and knew I was at least doing something right.

Our tongues danced against each other, our heads shifting position as we explored new angles of our kiss. I couldn’t control the sighs and moans coming from somewhere deep within me. It felt so good, so right, kissing Sean like this. I slid the hand that was on his chest back to around his neck and pulled myself close to him. He had said to do what feels good, what feels natural, and at the moment, all I wanted was to be pressed up against him.

I fought to keep contact as Sean pulled away once again. Both of his hands cradled my face as he dropped another crushing kiss to my swollen lips. At the last second he sucked my lower lip between his, but released it before I could really react.

“Damn, girl,” he grinned, pressing his forehead to mine. “You _are_ a fast learner.”

I giggled and moved to kiss him again. Now that I knew what it was like, I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t know if it was kissing in general or if it was Sean, but there was a part of me that just didn’t want to let go of him. I pouted, holding back a whine as he gently pushed me back and leaned away from me, dropping his hands to his lap. I worked to steady my breathing; he appeared to be doing the same thing.

He finally looked back at me, almost looking guilty. “You okay?”

Was I okay? I was way beyond okay! I’d just had my first kiss, and it was absolutely, wonderfully toe-curling amazing. “Yeah. I’m okay,” I answered. “I’ll admit, I certainly didn’t expect that...with _you_...” I looked down at the design on my bedspread before looking back up at him through my eyelashes. “Was I...okay?”

Sean scoffed a little and smiled, “Yeah...you, uh...you catch on quick. That was...that was good.” I could swear there was the tiniest trace of blush on his cheeks.

“Can we...not tell my dad about this?” I asked. I wasn’t planning on telling _anyone_ about this, to be honest, but especially not my dad.

Sean nodded with a slight grimace, “Yeah...I think that’d probably be best.” He was starting to look really uncomfortable staying in my room.

I knew he wanted to leave, and I wanted to talk to him about what we’d just done, though the shyness in me was starting to take over. I swallowed it down and blurted out, “I really liked kissing you, Sean. Can we...can we do it again? Sometime?”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” he said, shaking his head. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes at his response. A look of concern crossed his face as he noticed my eyes starting to water. He rested his arm around my shoulders, “Hey...hey it’s not you. Well, it’s you, but it’s not what you think.” He shifted off of the bed and squatted low, looking up at me, taking both of my hands in his. “I think you’re great, okay? Any guy would be lucky to get to kiss you. But I think you’d be a lot better off with someone closer to your own age.”

I nodded, “I know. You’re right. Thank you for...this.”

Sean smirked, “I’d say ‘any time,’ but that would kind of go against what I just said. Instead, I’ll say it was my pleasure.” He brought one of my hands up and kissed between two of my knuckles. “Come on. Let’s go watch the game. We’re totally whooping Chicago’s ass,” he grinned.

“Okay,” I said softly. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

He stood up and walked over to the door. He was about to step into the hallway when he looked over his shoulder at me. “Hey, you know if you ever have a problem, you can come talk to me, right? This...what just happened...doesn’t change that.”

“I know, Sean,” I said, trying not to sound as disappointed as I was really feeling. “Thanks.”

He looked at me a moment longer before taking a deep breath and exhaling it, nodded at me and walked back down the hallway.


	2. Chapter 2

My fingers trembled slightly as I dialed his number. I hadn’t seen or talked to Sean since that day he came over to our house and ended up giving me my first kiss. It’s not like we had planned it, and nothing had ever come of it.

Now I was half way through my first semester at college. I focused on my schoolwork as usual. My roommate was nice. She wasn’t a stereo-typical drunken college party girl, but she wasn’t quiet like I was. She made friends easily; she included me in her circle of friends, inviting me to join them in the caf for meals, or to go to concerts on campus. She often teased me about being a homebody and a bookworm, but I didn’t take it personally.

Through her group of friends, I met Tyler. He was sweet, kind of shy like me. He was a marketing major while I was in communications, so we had a couple classes together. He asked me out a month ago, and it’s been fun dating him. The thing is, I could tell he wanted to take things a little further than just kissing. When we would make out, he would try to guide my hand to his crotch, and I’d let him, but I didn’t want it to go much further. I wouldn’t let him touch me, not even to cop a feel under my shirt. I liked him, I really did, but I just wasn’t ready for that.

I didn’t want to lose Tyler. He treated me really well, and had the patience of a saint. I knew if I didn’t start meeting him half way, he’d leave me, and I really didn’t want that.

That’s when I called Sean.

I was about ready to hang up when he finally answered, “Hello?”

Crap. I panicked. How could I ask him...?

“Hello?” he asked again, sounding annoyed.

“HI! Sean!” I blurted out, louder than I’d meant to. “It’s Morgan.” God, I felt like an idiot.

There was an awkward pause before he answered, “Hey, sweetheart. How’s college life?”

“It’s good. It’s...really good,” I started. “I did really well on my mid-terms, starting up second quarter now.”

“Yeah? How’d ya do? As if I need to ask,” he teased.

I smiled, “I did fine. I’m passing everything so far. Some classes are better than others, but it’s good.”

“Glad to hear it,” he sounded genuinely proud of me. “Got ‘em eating out of the palm of your hand yet?”

“Ha...something like that. My roommate is really nice and she kinda absorbed me into her group of friends. They’re all pretty cool. I even, um...I met someone.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked. I was probably imagining the disappointment I heard in his voice.

“Yeah. His name’s Tyler. He’s sweet. He’s um...he’s kind of the reason I called,” I started, but couldn’t get myself to keep talking.

“Is something wrong?” Sean asked.

“No. Nothing’s wrong, really. It’s just...I think he wants to...I don’t know...do more than what we’ve been doing.” Seriously, what was I doing thinking this would work. I couldn’t even say what he wanted me to do.

Sean’s tone turned defensive, “Is he pressuring you into sex? Morgan, if you aren’t ready, you tell that fucker...”

“No no no!” I interrupted. “At least, not yet. No, I think he...I think he wants me to...”

“Give him a blow job?” Sean guessed, saving me an iota of embarrassment.

I breathed a sigh of relief, “Yes. And I don’t have a clue what to do. And I just remembered, before you left...that day...if I ever had a problem, I could come to you for help, right?”

Sean let out an exasperated sigh. “Jesus, Morgan. I don’t know...that’s...I’m flattered you thought to come to me, but isn’t there a girl friend who could talk you through it?”

“Yeah,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment, “I talked to one of my friends about it, and I know how to do it in theory, but...to put it in practice...”

“Oh, good lord...” Sean muttered. “Morgan, are you asking to practice on me? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Sean, I know it’s weird as hell, but I don’t want my first time giving a blow job to my boyfriend ending up in disaster. I think he’s already getting ready to dump me if I don’t do something soon...I’m pretty sure it’d all be over if I screwed up... _that_.”

Sean chuckled on the other end, “If I know college guys, it won’t last long enough for you to screw anything up.” He let out another long sigh, “Girl, you’re killing me. How do you propose we do this?”

“Oh my god, really?! You’ll help me?” I couldn’t contain my excitement.

“Like I could ever say no. You are offering me a free blowjob...” His voice had turned low and silky. I couldn’t help but think that Tyler never had the effect on my panties as Sean did. Maybe it’s just because I knew Sean so well and for so long. “So...do you have some kind of plan as to when?”

“I’ve got a four day break coming up next weekend. I thought maybe I could come back home as soon as my last class let out. Mom and Dad think I’m only coming home on Friday.”

“Uh...” Sean began, “And where do you plan on staying Thursday night?”

I stayed quiet. I couldn’t ask him if I could stay at his place for the night, but I hadn’t figured out where I was going to stay if this all went to plan. I was half hoping he’d offer his couch in exchange for the blowjob.

“Morgan...” he chided. “Where do you plan on staying?”

“I, um...I haven’t worked that part out yet...” I stammered and cringed, waiting for his response.

A long moment went by before he said anything. “Girl, I know I’m gonna regret this. Alright. You can crash at my place over night. On the couch!” he added resolutely.

“Thank you Sean, you’re the best!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, yeah...I’ll see you Thursday.”

“Okay. See you Thursday. Um...goodnight!”

“G’night.”

****************

The rest of the week could not have gone slower. While I enjoyed my time with Tyler, I couldn’t help but get excited about being with Sean and being able to come back to school with some added knowledge. I had even let him feel me up, over my shirt of course, hoping that would keep him happy over the break. I made sure to hint heavily to Tyler that I’d have a big surprise for him when we got back from break. I didn’t want to come right out and say it, but he seemed to get the hint.

My first year seminar class was the last class of the day on Thursday. It dragged on forever on a normal day, but today I didn’t think I’d ever get out of there. I was half tempted to ask to leave to use the bathroom and then just take off, but the scholar in me kept me in my seat for the full hour and a half as the professor droned on.

The minute class was dismissed, I darted out of the classroom. I didn’t bother waiting to ride the crowded elevator, opting for the steps, instead, despite the backpack full of books I was carrying. I walked quickly to my car in the student lot; I had packed up the night before, not wanting to waste a minute getting back home.

I hooked up my iPod and started the five hour drive back home. I fought the urge to let my lead foot take over, staying within five miles of the speed limit. I finally came up to the exit for my home town, excitement and anticipation...and a little nervousness flowing through my veins. I made my way to Sean’s house, making sure to avoid my own neighborhood. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing my car a day early. I parked out on the street in front of his house and grabbed my overnight bag and slung it over my shoulder before heading up his walkway. I took a deep breath before knocking timidly on his front door. I heard his footsteps getting nearer and my heart was rising up into my throat again.

He opened the door and I plastered a nervous smile on my face and waved shyly, squeaking out a quiet “Hi.” He smirked and stepped back, allowing me inside. I was grateful night had already fallen so he couldn’t see just how hard I was blushing as I walked into his living room.

“How was your drive?” he asked. I guess he thought some small talk would help calm me down. He was wrong.

“It was okay. Long. Traffic wasn’t too bad.” I looked around his living room, trying to figure out where to put my bag. He must have picked up on what I was looking for because he offered his hand out to take my bag, then placed it at the corner of the couch.

“You hungry, or did you stop somewhere on the way?”

Jeez, I hadn’t even thought about eating, but thinking back, I hadn’t eaten anything since my early lunch, and that was just a salad. “Yeah...I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“If you were any other girl,” he said, his hand ruffling the hair on the back of his head nervously, “I’d take you out for dinner before we, uh...did anything like this. But seeing as how we’re trying to keep this secret...”

“I know,” I cut in. “It’s okay. Can we just order a pizza or something? I’ll chip in.”

“You will not,” he said, adamantly. “Yeah, like I’m gonna let the college girl home from school buy her own dinner. Geez, what kind of guy do you think I am?” He shook his head and reached for his phone, placing the order. I giggled at the fact that he had the phone number for Dominos memorized.

We sat on the couch and watched some TV as we waited for the pizza to arrive. He kept drumming his fingers along the back of the couch and drumming his thumb on the armrest. I grinned when I realized he was just as nervous as I was. Finally, the doorbell rang. Sean went to open the door and pay the delivery guy while I went into his kitchen and started looking for plates.

He came in after me, placing the pizza on the tiny kitchen table and opened the lid. I found some paper plates and placed a large slice on each while he went to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He looked at me for a second, then reached in and grabbed another bottle, offering it to me. “Um, thanks, but I’m not 21. I’m only...almost 19,” I said, trying to make myself feel and sound older than I felt.

He fixed me with a look, “Really? You’re gonna throw age at me? Tonight? If you don’t want one, just say so.” I couldn’t tell if he was really upset or just teasing me. He turned to replace the second bottle.

“Okay,” I spoke up, tapping into whatever courage I had. “Yeah, I’d like one. Thanks.” He grinned back at me and twisted the caps off both bottles before grabbing a plate and heading back into the living room. I followed him and we both took our places back on the couch.

I must have made a face as I sipped at my beer because he laughed out loud. “Don’t tell me that’s your first beer, too,” Sean chuckled.

“It’s that obvious, huh?” I said, feeling like a little kid trying to fit in with the bigger, cooler kids.

“Just a little bit. Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it,” he promised, bringing his own bottle to his lips and taking a swig. I watched as he licked the carbonation off his lips and found myself mimicking the motion with my own tongue before I caught myself and tried to focus on eating and whatever it was we were watching on TV.

When we had eaten our fill and cleaned up any trash, we stood in the kitchen, awkwardly looking at each other, then to the floor, the fridge, seemingly anywhere else but into each other’s eyes. He finally broke the silence, “So...”

“I have to go to the bathroom!” I announced, mentally slapping my forehead. Could I be any more obvious how nervous I was? I ducked my head and walked down the hallway, locking myself in the bathroom. It turned out I did have to go, and I’d rather do that now than when we were in the middle of...something. After I had finished up and washed and dried my hands, I couldn’t bring myself to open the door. What was I thinking? This was such a stupid idea. I was preparing my explanation to Sean when he knocked on the door. Jeez, how long had I been in here?

“Morgan? You okay? That beer get to ya?” He sounded genuinely concerned, and my heart fluttered a little.

“Yeah...I’m okay. Be right out.” I checked myself one last time in the mirror and braced myself, unlocked the door and opened it.

Sean was leaning against the wall just outside the door. He raised his eyebrows as I stepped into the hallway, “You sure about this?”

Not trusting my voice, I only shook my head and took a tiny step toward him. He cupped my face in his hands and brought his lips to mine. The kiss was sweet, tender...at least at first. Electricity shot through me as my lips parted under his and his tongue sought mine hungrily. My hands clung to the front of his shirt, his mere presence anchoring me to the moment. I moaned as he pulled me flush up against him, my fingers sliding up his chest and threading through his hair.

I felt one of his hands grip my hip firmly, the other winding itself through my hair, holding me in place as his mouth began to wander along my jaw line, towards my ear, nipping at my ear lobe, then kissing, licking and biting at my neck. My pulse was absolutely racing, my breath coming in sharp gasps. My fingers trailed over his biceps, delighting in the strength I found there, then down along his ribs, along his back, anywhere I could touch him. “Should we...move...back to...the couch?” I managed to get out.

His voice was low and gravelly, “No, don’t want someone to drive by and see us. More privacy back here.”

“Here? In the hallway?” I asked.

“No. Back in my bedroom. Unless you’d rather not...” he tried giving me an out again. His voice and his hands on me had made my mouth go dry, but they had the exact opposite effect on the place between my legs. I swallowed before reaching up and kissing him again, allowing him to guide me through the hall and into his room.

He led me backwards toward his bed, my knees bending as I felt the mattress behind me. He sat next to me and I reached out to undo his belt. His strong hands stopped mine, “Slow down there, sweetheart.” He looked down at me and grinned, “I appreciate your excitement, but you don’t want to appear too eager.” I nodded has his hand came up to cup my jaw again and feathered kisses over my forehead, my cheek, over my jaw, and down my neck. My skin erupted in goose bumps when his teeth closed down on my tender flesh.

His hand left my jaw and skimmed over my shoulder, down my side, and rested at my hip. His lips didn’t leave my neck as he slid his long fingers under my shirt. I jumped at the sudden contact, and he looked down at me, checking to see if I was okay. “Sorry,” I breathed. “It’s just...no one’s ever...”

“Are you saying Tyler’s never tried to cop a feel? Is he an idiot?”

I grinned at his question, “No, he’s tried, I just...never let him.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I wanted Sean to be the first one to touch me like this, with his knowing hands and sexy smile.

Sean looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for help. “Alright. I’ll go slow.”

I nodded, feigning confidence. “Okay,” I whispered, and pressed a kiss to his neck, tentatively tasting him as he had done to me. My mouth wandered over his skin, licking and teasing, as his hand resumed its course and found its way under my shirt. I tried to keep from shivering at his touch, but couldn’t help myself. His other hand joined on my other hip, and before I knew it, both hands were skimming along my rib cage, his thumbs brushing the underside of my bra.

Sean pulled back as I let out another startled gasp, but didn’t remove his hands; instead he made a slow back-and-forth pattern against the silky fabric, letting me get accustomed to the sensation. My breathing was still heavy with passion, but I wasn’t nearly as jumpy as before. I kissed him again and he slid his hands to cover my breasts with his palms. I moaned into his mouth at the sensation of him massaging me, holding on around his neck for dear life.

Suddenly he dragged his hands away from my front and trailed his fingertips around my sides, meeting up behind my back at the clasp of my bra. “May I?” he murmured against my neck. It was all I could do to whimper and nod.

With nimble dexterity, he unhooked my bra, then brought his hands around to my chest again, sliding his fingers under the lacy cups that still covered me. I gasped loudly as his hands cupped my breasts; I could feel my nipples hardening against his palms. He moved his hands slightly until my nipples were caught between his finger and thumb. He gently twisted them between his fingers, causing me to cry out in pleasure. He sealed his mouth over mine, groaning against my lips. “Do you want me to leave your shirt on?”

I pulled back a little, not sure of what to do next. My body wanted to keep going, to take all my clothes...and his...off, but my mind was screaming to stop. My heart was hammering in my chest. My eyes locked with his. I bit my lower lip, nervously, then reached down to the bottom of my shirt and slowly pulled it off, leaving my bra on. Even if it was undone in the back, it still provided at least a little modesty, which kept me from completely freaking out.

Sean grinned his sexy grin and pulled his shirt off, too, tossing it to the floor. I’d seen him shirtless before, even this close up, when he had come over to swim in our pool, but to be this close to him, in this kind of setting, was altogether different.

His arms wrapped around me again, pulling me close, my breasts crushed against his chest. He started leaning further onto the bed, bringing me down with him, until we were lying next to each other, hands gliding over newly-exposed skin.

“Do you trust me?” Sean murmured against my lips. I whispered a soft ‘yes’ as he left a trail of kisses over my chin, my neck, and down my neck. I felt his hand ride along my side, up my stomach, before cupping my breast again. One finger came up and pulled the fabric of my bra down, exposing my entire breast, and his mouth immediately latched onto my swollen nipple. I cried out at the sensation of his tongue swirling around it, sucking the tender flesh further into his mouth. I had never felt so sexy, so alive. My hands found their way to the back of his head, gripping his hair and holding him in place.

Using his teeth, he pulled my bra further down, exposing my chest to him, and did the same things to the other side. “Oh my god. Sean...” I didn’t know what to do, what was coming next. All I knew is that if this was part of giving a blowjob, it would be something I’d be looking forward to doing often.

He stretched out on top of me, his chest hair grazing my now over-sensitive nipples, his hardness pressing into my thigh. Suddenly, he pushed himself off of me, saying, “Your turn,” and turned onto his back. I wasn’t sure what he meant, until he grabbed my hand and pulled me until I was draped over him. He reached up to cup his hand beneath my head and pulled me into the spot where his neck meets his shoulder. I kissed his neck, running my lips, teeth and tongue over his skin, as he had done to me.

I braced my hands on either side of him, lifting myself off of him to gain better access to more of his skin. In the process, the straps of my bra slid down from my shoulders, causing the garment to hang loosely, not covering me at all any more.

I felt Sean’s hands grip my hips and slide onto the small of my back, trailing his fingers up my spine, before reaching my shoulders and grabbing the straps of my bra and pulling it completely off me. He leaned up to kiss my bare flesh, swirling his tongue around my nipples and sucking them into his mouth each in turn, before releasing me, allowing me to continue my exploration of his body.

I quirked an eyebrow at him, inspired by what he had just done to me. I trailed my open mouth over his chest, zig-zagging my way across his well-defined pecs. Finally, my lips grazed across his nipple; I immediately heard his sharp intake of breath and smiled. I teased him with the tip of my tongue, drawing tight circles around his raised flesh. I closed my mouth around him and sucked lightly before moving to the other side of his chest and repeating the process.

I sneaked a peek at him, a cat-like smile crossing my face. He growled slightly and hooked his hands under my armpits, dragging me up so we were laying chest to chest again, my legs spread to either side of his hips. He kissed me, his tongue delving into my mouth. “Morgan...” he murmured against my lips.

Our eyes met when I pulled back to look at him. There was some emotion shining in his eyes that I couldn’t place, but it looked an awful lot like...no. It couldn’t be. He reached his hands up to thread through my hair, pulling the long blonde strands back from my face, then pulling me down to kiss me again, achingly slow. “I don’t mean to rush you, but...” he breathed against my lips.

I blushed furiously. “I’m a little nervous. I don’t...I don’t know where to start.”

I felt him smile before kissing me again. “Well, step one is taking my pants off.”

I breathed out a laugh and smiled back. “I figured as much.” I swung my leg off him and kneeled next to him. Neither of us moved. “Um...do you want me to...”

“Few things sexier to a man than a woman taking his pants off,” he smirked up at me. “But first, lemme give you one tiny little pointer,” he reached over to the night stand, then came right back to face me. “That came out wrong. Let me give you a little advice,” he grinned before reaching back to the night stand. I giggled as I caught on to the innuendo. He handed me a Kleenex.

“Umm...? What...” I started.

He took the tissue and stuffed it into my pocket, “When everything’s...finished...you’re gonna need to decide whether to...uh...spit or swallow.” I swear I caught him blushing again. “Most guys aren’t gonna wanna see the girl run for the bathroom right afterwards. Kleenex is a little more discreet.”

I nodded and bent over him. My fingers were shaking with nervousness as I fumbled with his belt, but finally succeeded in easing the leather out of the buckle. He flinched a little as my fingers grazed the lower part of his stomach as I moved to unbutton his pants then slid the zipper down slowly. I looked up at him again, seeking reassurance, only to find him staring intently at me. I swallowed and waited, hoping he’d do or say something, anything, to help me out a little.

He reached out his hand, grabbing mine, bringing it to the waistband of his briefs. He laid my fingers flat on his stomach and released my wrist, waiting for me to figure out the next step on my own. I inched my fingers under the elastic, reaching under the cotton fabric, my fingertips meeting the coarse curls hiding beneath and then...

“Oh my god...Sean, I...” I stammered.

“Shh...it’s okay. You’re doing fine,” he said calmly. How the hell did he keep his composure at a time like this?

“I’ve never...seen one before.”

Sean grinned reassuringly and oh so sexily, then braced his feet flat on the bed, stuck his thumb under the elastic waistband, raised up his hips, and shoved his pants and underwear to halfway down his thighs. “Whenever you’re ready, there you go,” he said with a smirk and placed his hands behind his head. His eyes never stopped looking at me.

I dragged my eyes from his gaze, down his chest, his abs, taking in the dark arrow of hair at the lower part of his stomach leading to... “Oh my god...”

“Like what you see?” I could hear his smile.

“I...is that...um...are you...?” I stumbled, currently not able to speak, apparently.

“Average?” I nodded. “I don’t make a habit of checking out other guys, but I’m probably a little above average. Don’t worry, he won’t bite,” he said with a grin. I couldn’t keep the giggle from escaping my lips.

“Do I just...?” I went to bend over, bringing my mouth down to his exposed member.

“Here, give me your hand,” he said, offering his hand to me. I gave him my hand, shaking slightly, and he slowly guided me to his length. I timidly wrapped my fingers around him, my fingertips barely reaching my thumb. His hand moved mine up and down his shaft, setting a pace for me to stroke him. He released his grip, letting me take control.

I was still a little in shock at how big he was. What was I supposed to do with all of this? I tried focusing on the feel of him, like velvet covered steel. I tried varying the tempo of my movements, squeezing slightly, and appreciating the look of pained pleasure on his face.

I felt his hand on my arm and looked up at him. He sat up and claimed my mouth in a kiss, swirling his tongue around mine. His voice was husky, “Why don’t you give him a little kiss?” he asked as he lay back down on the bed. Apparently I had dawdled long enough. I slowly nodded and bent over him.

I placed a light kiss right on the tip then started peppering more kisses up and down his length. As I got more comfortable being so close, so intimate, I let my lips part, kissing my way back up to the tip. I opened my lips and took him in, my tongue lightly tasting his sensitive skin. I echoed how he had just kissed me and let my tongue swirl around his head. His groan spurred me on to do it again, letting my lips drift further down his shaft.

I started bobbing my head up and down, laving him with my tongue. The more I worked, the easier it was to glide my lips against his skin. His fingers threaded through my hair, and I stopped to look up at him.

“God, you look sexy doing that,” he growled at me. My heart and pussy both clenched at his words. “I just wanna tell you, you might wanna slow down. You’ll wear yourself out going that pace.”

I nodded again, taking his advice into account. Something deep inside loved having him tell me what to do, telling me what he liked, how best to please him. I slowed down, working my lips further and further down his length. The tip of his cock hit the back of my throat, and I gagged roughly around him. I sat back, coughing and gasping for air. I looked at him apologetically once my coughing fit had ended.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You don’t have to go _all_ the way down. If you want to try again, just remember to relax your throat and go nice and slow. Otherwise, just keep your hand going and focus on the top half. You’re doing fine, trust me,” he said with a slow grin.

I swallowed and licked my lips, wanting to try and take as much of him in my mouth as I could, like some part of me wanted to prove that I could do it. I slid my lips down his length again, inching my way down, and felt him at the back of my throat again. I took a deep breath through my nose and focused on relaxing my throat muscles. I slid lower and lower until his coarse curls were touching my nose.

“Holy shit,” Sean murmured above me. I came back up, swallowing and catching my breath, and smiled, perversely proud of what I had just done. I looked at him, his look showing how impressed...and turned on...he really was. “You _are_ a fast learner. God damn!”

I grinned again, before lowering my head back to him. I wrapped my hand around his cock and started pumping, matching my hand’s movement to my mouth’s. I found my rhythm, and remembered what my friend had told me about sucking in my cheeks to provide a tighter suction. When I needed a breath, I would stroke my hand upwards around his head, letting my thumb curve around the very tip, then return my mouth to him, loving his taste on my tongue.

Within minutes, I heard Sean start to groan, “Oh, shit...mmm, Morgan...I’m gonna...” I felt his fingers lace through my hair, gripping tightly so it just barely hurt, but it felt so good. He held my head still as his hips thrust upward from the bed, shooting his warm, sticky cum into my mouth, a loud, choked off moan escaping his lips. It tasted...different...unlike anything I’d ever tasted before, but found that I liked it. I swallowed everything he’d given me.

He unwound his fingers from my hair and let his arms drop heavily to the bed, spread out to his sides, seeming to invite me in. I crawled up to him and laid my head on his shoulder. “So...did I do okay?” I asked with a grin.

He lazily looked over at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me close. “Shut up,” he said with a grin, kissing me soundly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...we're picking up exactly where we left off. Chapter two was ridiculously long as it was. Enjoy.

I ran my fingers through his crisp chest hair, my fingernails grazing over his nipples, before wrapping my arm around him, pulling myself closer to him. He held me tightly, my breasts crushed to his warm skin. God, I could lose myself in his kisses; they were all passion and fire. I had a niggling little voice in my head reminding me that I was still with Tyler, but my heart was ignoring it at the moment. All I knew was this man and how incredibly sexy he made me feel.

I was left with another problem in the wake of giving my first blow job. I had no idea how incredibly turned on it would leave me. I felt my pulse throbbing between my legs, a tell-tale wetness soaking my panties...probably even through the crotch of my jeans. I rubbed my legs together, tightening the muscles in my thighs, grinding my hips in a tight circle, trying to get the feeling to abate. I knew Sean's kisses were only adding fuel to the fire, but I couldn't pull myself away. A frustrated moan came from the back of my throat.

"Is something wrong?" Sean asked, looking at me with genuine concern.

'Yes! Something is very wrong, but very, very right!' my body screamed. Instead, I could only bite my lip nervously and shake my head, still nestled on his shoulder. I worried that he could see right through me, and my face probably showed it. I knew I should just back off now. I should get up and get dressed and head to the couch for the night. I could wait until I was sure he was asleep and take care of things myself. Oh my god...could I really do that? On his couch? I grimaced at the thought.

"Morgan, what's up?" he prodded. "Is it...what we just did?"

"No! God, no!" I placed a hand on his chest and looked down at my fingers on his skin. I knew I should tell him, but was so embarrassed. What was he going to think of me? "I just...I didn't know that...doing that for you would, um, have an effect on me." I met his eyes, praying that he'd understand, that I wouldn't have to go into too much detail...and that he would have a solution.

Sean looked right back at me, his eyes never leaving mine. He seemed to be working something out again, the way he had the day we first kissed. He ran his long fingers down the side of my face, his touch tender and caressing and sending chills down my spine. He leaned in and kissed me slowly. I could feel my body melting to his, my brain threatening to follow suit.

He wrapped both arms around me, holding me tenderly, as if he was afraid I was going to break into a million tiny pieces. I had the feeling that if I didn't do something to relieve the pressure building inside me, that just might happen. Instinctively, I ground my hips against him.

His right hand trailed from my back, along my rib cage, before cupping my breast and massaging it, squeezing a little harder as he continued. I moaned against him. I wasn't sure what he had in mind, but I didn't want to wait any longer to find out.

As if he could read my mind, he released my breast, tweaking my already hardened nipple, and trailed his fingers down my stomach. His touch was light, teasing, and I fought the urge to giggle as he reached my ticklish spots. I felt his fingers trailing lower and lower; I gasped loudly as he popped the button on my jeans.

"Let me," he whispered, almost begging, as he undid my zipper. My nerves were shot. I felt like a ball of buzzing energy, just waiting to be released. I was beyond nervous at what was coming next, but there was no way I was going to try to stop him. Instead I just nodded and tried to relax, relishing the feeling of his hands on me.

He slid his hand down my pants, keeping my cotton panties as a barrier between us. He reached down and cupped his hand around me, letting me get used to his touch. His pointer and pinky fingers grazed along the crease of my inner thighs. When my heart started beating again, I bucked my hips against his hand, wanting more, though I wasn't sure of what.

He grinned against my mouth as he curved his fingers into me, stroking my lips through the crotch of my panties. "Damn, girl. You're soaked."

My mouth stilled against his, my face flushed with embarrassment. I completely froze up. God, I could just die right here. Just curl up in a ball and die.

"Hey," he said soothingly, his fingers pausing for a moment but never breaking contact. "It's a good thing...a _really_ good thing. It tells me just how much I turn you on. If you want me to stop, I will, but I want to make you feel good."

He didn't move, just waited for my answer as I fought to control my heart, my breath. I licked my lips and gave him a tiny nod. He gave me a relieved smile and bent his head to kiss me again. His fingers slowly started moving against me again.

I jumped a little when his fingers started to push the fabric aside, exposing more of me to the rest of his roaming fingers. He slid his middle finger between my lips, barely parting them; I gasped loudly at the sensation and grasped desperately onto his shoulder. "Sean!"

He pulled his hand away, and immediate relief and frustration washed over me. He trailed his fingertips up, over my lower belly, up to my belly button, before drifting back lower. This time his fingers slid under the elastic of my panties, moving his hand side to side, from hip to hip, teasing my already sensitive flesh, before he continued further. I felt him reach through the soft curling hair, already damp with my wetness, and my breath hitched in my throat again.

He kissed me, swallowing my moan as he eased his middle finger between my lips again. He ran up and down the length of my slit, letting me get accustomed to the feeling of him touching me in such an intimate way.

He reached in farther, just barely teasing my entrance. My hands fluttered at my sides; I wasn't sure what to do with them. I moved on instinct, moving my right hand to glide along his strong back; my left hand sought his shoulder and bicep, believing him to be an anchor in this whirlwind of sensations. "Oh my god..." I breathed, my breath coming in hard pants.

"Hang on, sweetheart," he said with a grin. "We aren't even to the fun part yet." With a look of pure confidence, he slid his finger to the top of my slit and lightly rubbed over the tight little bundle of nerves he found there. I let out a choked of cry. I'd never felt so wanton, so shameless with any kind of reaction; I startled myself with the sudden outcry. He chuckled, low and wicked, against my neck. "It's okay, baby. Make all the noise you want." He drew a tight circle around my clit, eliciting another sharp cry from me.

His fingers worked magic on me, flooding me with sensations I'd never felt before. I'd never touched myself before, not like this, and here he was, playing me like a piano, his fingers confident against my delicate flesh.

He continued his assault on my nerves, pressing harder on my clit, then stroking along the length of my pussy, all the while dropping kisses all over my neck, then swirling his tongue on the shell of my ear, nibbling at my ear lobe, then raking his teeth over the tendons of my neck. He made sure not to leave any marks, at least not on my neck. He ventured further down and swirled his tongue around my nipple, almost in time with the motion his finger was making against my clit, then bit and sucked at my skin, leaving tiny love bites all over my chest. It was all I could do to moan and whimper, all words failing me except for, "Please, Sean...please." I had no idea what I was begging for, and prayed that he'd know and be able to deliver.

Sean ran the tip of his tongue from the center of my breast all the way up to my ear. He whispered, low and wicked, "Open your legs for me, sweetheart." My breath hitched, but I was too far gone to even consider disobeying him. My knees parted, creating more space for him to move.

His hand shifted against me, pushing even further down until the heel of his palm was pressed firmly against my clit. His eyes found mine, locking in and never wavering, as he slid his long finger into my dripping pussy. My jaw dropped open at the sudden feeling of fullness. He kept it still, letting me get accustomed to the intrusion. There was no pain, only a welcome pressure. He moved his finger in and out of me, keeping a steady but slow rhythm.

I groaned in near disappointment when he withdrew his finger, only to cry out again when he shoved a second inside me. He curled them upward, as if he was coaxing me toward my first climax. I bucked my hips against his hand, feeling pressure building towards release. My breathing started to quicken, the only sounds I could make were breathy sighs and "Oh"s. I clung to Sean as if my life depended on it; I just knew if I let go, I'd shatter.

"That's it, baby. Cum for me. I want to feel you cum on my fingers." He kept whispering what he wanted me to do, his breath hot on my ear. My breath was coming in quick little pants and leaving in strangled moans as his fingers and his words urged me closer and closer to the edge, rushing toward release.

A loud, guttural moan escaped from somewhere deep within me when I finally found my first orgasm. My knees snapped together, my thighs clutched tightly against each other, trapping his hand in place as I bucked my hips wildly against his hand, riding out wave after wave of pleasure. I could feel my inner walls clamping down around his fingers. My fingernails dug into the skin along his back and his shoulder; I found I didn't care if I was leaving marks on him or not. I cried out, moaning over and over, "Oh my god! Sean!" I didn't care if the neighbors could hear me. I didn't care if people in Uruguay could hear me. All I knew was the intense pleasure Sean had given me, how he'd known exactly how to get me there.

I eventually regained control of my breathing, my pulse returning to normal. I let my legs slowly fall apart, releasing Sean's hand. He kissed me as he slowly removed his fingers from deep inside me. He pulled away from me and brought his hand to his mouth, sucking my juices off his fingers. "Mmm...dammit."

"What?" I asked, my still-fuzzy brain not exactly worried but more curious as to what he was cursing.

He finished cleaning off his fingers and looked at me with his sexy grin. "You taste really good. I was just thinking maybe I should have eaten you out after all."

My eyes flew open at the suggestion. I looked straight at him, searching his face for clarification. "Is that what you were thinking about before you started...that?"

God, I loved that smirk he kept shooting at me. "God, you're fucking quick. How the hell do you do that? Yeah, I was debating on fingering you or going down on you. I figured that might have been a little much for your first time out of the gate, so to speak." He wrapped his arm around me, holding me close as I was still coming down from cumming so hard. "Are you okay?"

I looked up at him from underneath my eyelashes, a sudden wave of exhaustion washing over me. I reached up to kiss him and whispered against his lips, "I am so much better than okay." I kissed him again and added, "Thank you."

Sean cocked an eyebrow at me, "My pleasure...quite literally." I let out a soft giggle and snuggled closer to him.

"Mmm...God, that felt so good. I had no idea..." I trailed off, a yawn cutting off my train of thought.

"You fallin' asleep on me?" he said with a chuckle. It was all I could do to yawn and nod against his shoulder. "Here, darling, before you get too comfortable..." He slid his arm out from under me; a look of pretend anger crossed my face. He walked out of the room and down the hall.

I was fast asleep before he returned.

I woke up the next morning, not exactly sure where I was. I vaguely remember Sean waking me up, though I couldn't remember what for. Our agreement had been that I could crash on his couch for the night so my parents wouldn't become suspect of anything going on.

I was definitely not on his couch. Instead, I was wrapped in a very warm comforter, still in his bed. The feel of his soft sheets against my legs told me I wasn't wearing my jeans anymore. I wondered which one of us had taken them off. I could also tell that I was wearing my night shirt, so at least that was something. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized I'd slept way later than I'd meant to. I went to lie on my back, but stopped when I felt a warm, solid wall behind me.

I started to move my arm to feel behind me, and brushed against his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. As my brain woke up and started processing my surroundings, I realized Sean was pressed flush up against my back, spooning me from behind, keeping me safe in the cradle of his arms. The hand that belonged to the arm wrapped around me was cupping my breast.

I couldn't fight this feeling growing inside of me. It felt like more than just comfort in the man I'd known all my life. This was more than appreciation for all he'd taught me and done for me. Memories of last night raced through my mind, and I found myself wanting to do it all again.

No, I reprimanded myself. This was maybe a crush, nothing more. I was with Tyler.

I felt more than a twinge of guilt. I realized I was using Sean, and I hated that feeling. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. Plus, when I got right down to it, I had basically just cheated on my boyfriend.

But I was doing all of this for him...so I could be good for him.

Because heaven forbid you talk to your boyfriend to learn what he likes. Maybe you'd be feeling this huge surge of emotions toward Tyler instead of falling for Sean.

Holy shit. I was falling for Sean. I could feel it through and through.

No. I can't! How in the hell would that work? What would my parents think if I were to tell them about my new boyfriend...a man twice my age that had literally known me all my life, and probably even before. He'd been like an uncle to me when I was little, a big brother, a good friend as I made my way through high school. He'd been there for me without fail. I mentally slapped myself for thinking that it kind of sounded romantic when I thought about it.

"Penny for your thoughts," Sean murmured out of the side of his mouth, his face half buried in the pillow beneath him.

My head jerked to the side, trying to see him behind me. "How did you know I was up?"

"I could hear you thinking all the way over here," he said, slowly raising his head off the bed to look at me. "I felt you tense up and you started breathing different. You okay?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding and turning in his arms to look at him. "I'm fine."

"Sure? You're alright with everything that happened last night?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"I'm sure. Just trying to work things out in my brain. That's all."

"Alright. If you're sure. I'm here if you need to get something off your chest," he said. I knew he was being absolutely sincere. My heart fluttered a little; I tried to keep my face from revealing too much.

"Speaking of which...how did I get into my night shirt and out of my pants last night?" I asked, not wanting to sound accusing, just really wanted to know.

Sean laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I went to go get your stuff for you so you could change and go to sleep. By the time I got back, you were gone...completely out of it. I tried getting you up, but you weren't having it. I managed to get you to sit up so I could put your shirt on. As soon as it was on, you fell right back onto the pillows. I figured you didn't want to sleep in your jeans...I hope you aren't pissed."

God, he took such good care of me. He was doing all this, teaching me what I wanted even if it was incredibly awkward...at least at first. He let me stay here, he kept my secrets. And now he was putting awkwardness aside to make sure I was comfortable. And then, to wake up with his arms wrapped around me...

Maybe I wasn't the only one falling here.

"No. I'm not pissed. Thank you for...everything last night. I know you didn't have to do any of it, and I really appreciate everything...and I mean _everything_ you've done for me," I replied.

God, I wanted to kiss him. I fought the urge with every ounce of will power I had. Last night was one thing, a learning experience. I was still with Tyler. I really did like him, so much that I had talked Sean into teaching me how to please him. And then he had ended up giving me an absolutely mind-blowing, near-coma-inducing orgasm.

What the hell was I going to do?

"There you go thinking again," Sean teased.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. How did he do that? "Yeah, I know. I should probably stop doing that," I teased back.

"Nah. Better not," he argued. "You're too smart not to think." He grinned as I blushed. "Look, whatever's on your mind, you can tell me. If you don't want to, that's fine, but I'm here. I'm always here."

I nodded, "I know, Sean. I do. Thanks."

He pulled me in for a hug, pressing my face into the cozy space between his shoulder and his neck. I inhaled, breathing him in. I wanted to kiss him, or for him to kiss me, and it felt like he wanted the same thing, but neither of us made the move to. Instead we held each other, just for a moment. I hated breaking it up, but knew I needed to. "I should probably get up and get going. We slept pretty late. Don't you have to work?"

"Yeah...but one of the perks of working from home is you don't have any real schedule to stick to," he said with a grin. "So, ya hungry?"

"I am, but I don't expect you to feed me. I can just grab something and hang out somewhere until it's time to head home."

Sean looked a little dejected and my heart started to break for him. "Oh. Well, you're welcome to stay if you want."

I sighed heavily, "I want to Sean. I do. But I need to clear my head for a while, especially before seeing my parents. Please don't hate me," I begged.

He fixed his eyes on mine, looking at me as if he were peering right into my soul. "I never could."

I got up and changed into regular clothes in Sean's bathroom. It's not that I was necessarily shy about dressing in front of him...certainly not after last night. I just didn't want the temptation staring us in the face. I needed to focus on being with my family for the weekend, and on being with Tyler once I got back to school. I hated cutting Sean out like this, but it was only fair to him; I certainly didn't want to lead him on.

When I came out of the bathroom, Sean was sitting at his kitchen table, wearing his usual jeans and a v-neck t-shirt, drinking a cup of coffee and working on his laptop. He offered me a cup, but I declined. His look of further disappointment did not escape me, and my heart broke for him. It was killing me to do things this way. I loved Sean...I might even be in love with him...but I just couldn't go there.

I shouldered my overnight bag and walked toward his front door. I heard him get up and follow me, ever the gentleman, even when I was hurting him. I reached for the doorknob, when I felt his hand close around my upper arm, whirling me around to face him. I looked up at him, eyes wide. The tension between us was palpable. He cupped my face with his hands, and I was sure he was going to kiss me, maybe more, based on the look in his eyes.

Instead, he slowly dropped his hands and kissed me on the cheek and muttered, "Bye Morgan. Take it easy."

He only made me want to kiss him more. I stood stock still, trying to find something to say, to make this all easier for the both of us. All I could come up with was, "Bye, Sean. Thank you. I'll...see you around." I turned to open the door, hanging my head, my shoulders and heart heavy with guilt, then stepped out into the late-morning sun and walked out to my car.

I made my way across town to one of my favorite diners. It was past the breakfast rush, and not quite time for lunch, so it was nice and quiet. I seated myself in a corner booth, placed my usual order, and sat alone with my thoughts. I was determined to think this whole situation out and figure out just what in the hell I was going to do.

I made a mental list, comparing these two guys I cared so deeply for.

Tyler was sweet. We fit well together. We made a cute couple – all our friends said so. We had common interests, had lots of mutual friends. The most glaring point in his favor was that my parents wouldn't kill me when they found out I was dating him.

Oh, but then there was Sean. Sean was sweet, too, but in a completely different way. While Tyler would hold my hand as we walked to class, and would get refills for me at lunch, Sean took care of me in lots of different ways...many of which he had proven last night. I was definitely attracted to him, and already knew him better than I knew most of my friends. We knew where each other stood on lots of topics, whereas with Tyler, I was still learning.

That's what a relationship is, though: learning all you can about someone. And I was attracted to Tyler, too. It's just that Tyler still seemed like a boy. He still seemed awkward in his skin sometimes; he didn't ooze confidence like Sean did. In Tyler's defense, Sean had a lot more practice; he had that wisdom to him that only came with age. Oh, but what that wisdom had done for me last night. Sean was definitely all man.

I caught myself blushing at the memory of Sean's hands and mouth all over me, of how he was so patient in teaching me the finer points of going down on a guy, how he made sure I had gotten off, too.

That wasn't fair...I haven't had a chance to do any of that with Tyler. Alright, I'd had chances, but they would have ended in disaster. That wouldn't have helped Tyler's case any. Although, I still couldn't explain why I could never let Tyler touch me (not for lack of his trying) while I could be completely accepting of all of Sean's caresses. Just thinking about it made me want to rush back to his house and feel him pressed against me again.

The waitress dropped off my food, and I ate it slowly, still lost in thought. No matter how hard I tried to focus on Tyler, and how our relationship was about to change when we got back from four day break, my mind kept drifting back to how Sean had made me feel last night...and to how awful I felt about leaving him this morning.

I finished most of my meal and decided it was late enough to be believable that I had just rolled into town when I showed up at my parent's house. I paid my bill and headed out of the diner, into my car, and back home.

Mom was sitting at the kitchen table, peeling apples for what looked like a pie, when I walked in. I rushed over and gave her a hug around her shoulders from behind.

"Morgan!" she exclaimed. "I didn't hear you come in! Wow, you made good time today, huh?"

"Yeah," I agreed, "I guess I did. Not a ton of traffic getting down here on a Friday morning. So what's up?"

We talked about this and that, as if we haven't been talking on the phone several times a week since I left for college. My mother and I had always had a very strong relationship. We knew each other's non-verbal cues, and could tell when something was up.

"So...tell me about this boy that's got you so riled up," she teased with a grin as she picked up another apple. I had been tight-lipped about Tyler so far. Mom knew I was seeing someone, but I had told her we weren't exactly serious yet, only having been together for a month or so. The thing is, it wasn't Tyler that had me riled up.

I stammered, "He's...good. It's just...kind of weird."

"Weird how?" she inquired.

"I dunno," I shrugged, "I guess it's all just kind of new. Just trying to figure everything out."

"You know, Morgan," my mother began, "I know this is new for you, being in a relationship. The thing of it is, you can't always think and plan things out. You can't take notes and study. You have to feel it, give it a chance to turn into something before dissecting it. You have to shut your brain off from time to time and just go with your heart." She smirked at me and added, "That's why I married your father. I wasn't thinking."

I laughed out loud; it felt really good to just laugh. My morning had been so...heavy. "Thanks, mom. That helped more than you know."

"Glad I could help, hon. Just one more thing. Whoever this guy is that has you glowing like you are now, hold on to him. He's a keeper."


	4. Chapter 4

I was an absolute nervous wreck, my brain absolutely frazzled due to lack of sleep and stressing over finals. I was basically running on caffeine and fumes. On top of studying, I had also been packing to head back home for Christmas break. A jolt of something that wasn’t drug induced shot through my system at the idea of going back for such a long stretch – almost a month!

After I had taken my last final, I immediately went back to my dorm room and crashed on my bed, sleep pulling me under without a fight. I didn’t want to look like death warmed over when I got back home and have everyone worried about me. After a nice and restoring nap, I went to the caf, grabbing my first meal of actual food in what felt like forever. When I returned to my room, my roommate was in there, finishing her own packing for the holiday break. We walked out to the parking lot together and hugged our goodbyes, making the age-old joke, “See you next year!”

When I finally made it home, I was just in time for dinner. I left my luggage out in the car, wanting to spend this time with my family. We could bring everything in later...when I had some help.

I’d spent the next day with mom, baking cookies and wrapping presents. I was itching to get out of the house already, to go and talk to Sean, wanting to ask him for one more, very important lesson, but I knew if I disappeared so soon after getting home, my mother would become suspicious and I just didn’t want to go down that road just yet.

I finally caught a break when mom gave me a grocery list of things she needed for their Christmas Eve party. I told her I had some last minute shopping to do, so I might be a while, but I’d get everything she needed.

What mom didn’t know is I had finished all my Christmas shopping last week, before studying for finals, knowing I could use it as an excuse to escape the house for a couple hours without raising any warning flags. I knew right where I was going first.

My knuckles were white as my fingers gripped the cold steering wheel of my car. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering wildly as I pulled up outside Sean’s house. I took a minute to calm myself down, not wanting to appear anxious or nervous or scared, even though I was definitely feeling all three. I puffed out a breath and shoved my car door open and began walking up to his front door. I knocked...and waited.

Sean definitely looked surprised to see me, though not altogether happy, when he opened the door. “Oh...hey Morgan. Home for the holidays?” he asked.

I nodded, “Yeah. No place like it. Can I...can I come in? It’s kind of freezing out here,” I said, rubbing my hands together for the added effect.

“Oh, shit, yeah,” he said in apology, backing up to make room for me in the doorway. I stepped in and he closed the door behind me. “So...how’s school?” he tried to cut the tension already thick in the room.

“Good. Finals about kicked my ass. I think I did okay on them, but I was definitely stressing over everything pretty bad. It’s taken me a couple days to feel like normal again,” I replied. My eyes were raking over him, looking so comfy in the sweater and well-worn jeans he was currently wearing. “Nice slippers,” I added, noticing he was wearing a bright blue pair with the Superman logo on them.

“Thanks,” he grinned sheepishly.

“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?” It dawned on me that I had dropped by completely unannounced. I knew he worked from home and didn’t have a set schedule, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in the middle of something and I was keeping him from it.

“Nah, nothing major,” he assured me. I felt myself relax instantly. “You wanna have a seat?” he gestured toward the couch.

I followed him over and sat, taking my coat off and tossing it over the armrest. There was considerable space between us, which just added to the tension in the room. “So what’s going on? What brings you over here?” he asked.

I breathed deep and swallowed hard. “Well...it’s about Tyler.” Even through the space between us I could feel his body go taut and rigid. I know what he thought was coming next and had to fight the smile threatening to cross my face. If he only knew. Well, I guess he would in a moment. “I, um, I used what you taught me.”

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, sounding less than enthused.

“Yeah,” I laughed under my breath, “You were right. It didn’t last long enough for me to screw anything up.” I smiled when he snorted a laugh. “It was...I don’t know. It wasn’t at all like what we did. I had kind of promised him I would do it, and that’s all he was really going for. It was all about him. He didn’t even try to take off my shirt, he barely kissed me. I swear he was half-cocked before I even got to his room...no pun intended.” Sean snorted again, muttering something about amateurs. I continued, “And afterwards, he was just like, ‘thanks,’ and that was it. No...nothing. We saw each other in the caf and in classes, and it was like nothing had changed. I tried doing it again a couple days later, thinking maybe because it was our first time taking that step, maybe...I don’t know...he was flustered or something? But it was the same.” I looked Sean right in the eyes. “It wasn’t like with you.”

Sean cleared his throat and tore his eyes away from me, fixing his gaze on something on the coffee table in front of us.

I swallowed again and pressed on, “I dumped him. I just couldn’t do it.” Sean looked at me again, and I swear I saw the tiniest look of relief in his eyes, saw his shoulders relax just a little.

I twisted my fingers and played with my thumbnail, a true sign I was nervous at what was coming next. “But now, there’s this other guy...” I started, cut off by Sean’s groan. I kept going, determined to get this out. “I really like him, and he’s absolutely amazing. We’ve only been together a couple times, but whenever we’re together, it’s incredible. He takes such good care of me, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I think I’m falling in love with him.”

Sean shot up from the couch and began pacing. “Stop, Morgan. I can’t keep doing this. If you want to go get your rocks off with this guy, have at it, but I can’t keep doing this with you. It’s wrong on all kinds of levels. You wanna go screw someone, screw your new...”

“It’s you, Sean.”

He froze in his tracks. After a minute that felt like eternity, he uttered a “Pardon?”

“It’s always been you. Since the day you first kissed me. I think it’s why I never let Tyler try to touch me. My heart already belonged to you. I thought it was just some weird version of homesickness at first, that I just kept thinking about you. The whole time I was with Tyler, I thought of how his kisses were boring – nothing compared to just that one time we shared.” I stood up and walked over to him, still not touching, though it was killing me not to. “I love you, Sean. I’m in love with you. I know it doesn’t make sense, and I don’t know how it’s going to work, but there it is.”

“Morgan...” he murmured. “We can’t. Your dad would kill me. Quite literally kill me.”

“We don’t know that for sure. He might just kick your ass,” I tried for humor and apparently failed, judging by the look on his face. “Sean, I don’t want anyone else. Just you.” I reached out for his hand, now hanging limply at his side, letting our fingers lace together, testing the waters. When he didn’t make any move one way or the other, I leaned in and placed a single, chaste kiss on his lips.

No reaction.

My heart dropped to the floor. I should have known. After everything I had put him through, asking so much of him for the benefit of someone else, and then to drop this on him, what else had I expected? I breathed in heavily, blinking quickly, fighting the tears threatening to fall. I dropped his hand and silently crossed to the couch, grabbing my coat, hastily shoving my arms in the sleeves and zipping it up. I made for a hasty retreat, rushing for the door, murmuring, “Nevermind. Just forget it. It was stupid, and I’m sorry.”

My hand was on the doorknob when I felt his hand on my shoulder, reminiscent of the last time I had left his house. I turned to face him, and his hands cupped either side of my face. He looked straight into my eyes and rubbed his thumbs across the apples of my cheeks.

“I love you, too, Morgan.”

He brought his lips to mine in a bone-melting kiss. My lips immediately parted, welcoming his tongue into my mouth. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling tight, bringing us closer together. He stepped back, just a little, to work one of his hands to the zipper of my coat, pulling it open tantalizingly slowly. The moment he finished with the zipper, he slid both arms into the flaps of my coat, winding them around me, pulling me flush up against him. His hands rested on the small of my back before trailing down to the curve of my ass. I removed my arms from around his neck to shrug out of my coat, letting it drop to the floor behind me, never breaking contact with his hungry kiss.

He finally pulled away, just slightly, and rested his forehead against mine. We were both left breathless from the kiss. It really could be considered our first. There was no ulterior motive behind it; it wasn’t serving any purpose except for each of us showing just how much we loved one another.

I ran my hand up his chest, around his neck, and threaded my fingers through his hair. I pulled him down for another kiss, sweet and loving and completely unhurried. He pulled away again, and I groaned, almost a whine, in frustration.

“Calm down, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured me before pressing another quick kiss against my lips. “I just don’t want us to get carried away.”

I looked at him skeptically, “Really? After everything we’ve done together?”

“Well, yeah, but we just now became official,” he said, a smirk working its way onto his lips. “What type of guy do you take me for?”

Oh, two could play at this game, “A guy I want to make love with.” Feeling incredibly bold, I snaked my hand down his chest, over his abs, before gently cupping the growing bulge in his pants. “It seems you’re the type of guy who wants that, too.”

He pulled his head back and looked deep into my eyes, “You’re sure about this?”

I nodded, trying to stay calm, though my insides were screaming for him. “Yes, Sean. I want this. I want you.”

He crushed his lips against mine, his tongue darting into my mouth and wrestling with mine. He stooped and wrapped his strong arms around my waist, lifting me up so I was pressed against his chest. I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me back into his bedroom. Once we had gotten there, he gently laid me on the bed, covering me with his warm body nestled in the cradle of my hips. Even through all of our clothes, I could feel his hardness pressing against me, practically begging to be released from the confines of his pants. It turned me on to no end to know how much he wanted me.

I moaned beneath him as he trailed hundreds of kissed down my throat, along my jaw, up to my ear. His hand slid eagerly under my sweater, teasing the ticklish skin of my stomach with his fingertips, before scooting his hands behind my back to undo the clasp of my bra. I giggled as he fumbled for a minute, earning a look of warning from him. I pushed him back so I could sit up, giving him better access, bracing myself up on my elbows. When I felt the clasp release, I laid back down, feeling his comforting weight on top of me as he followed me back to the mattress. Sean’s hand resumed its course up my torso, finally finding its destination as he cupped my breast.

“God, your tit fits in my hand so perfectly,” he almost growled. I blushed at his words. Any time he’d spoken before, it was to tell me what to do, what to expect, almost instructional, or at least asking me if I was okay with what we were doing. He’d never just given commentary like this. I supposed it was because he was trying to keep emotion out of all the times before. Well, we know how well that worked. He tweaked my nipple between his fingers and brought me from my wandering thoughts and back into the moment.

I moaned loudly at the feel of him pressed so intimately against me, his fingers working wonders on my skin. I arched my back, pushing my breast further into his hand. He shoved my sweater further up my body, moving my bra with it, exposing my chest to him. His mouth closed around my puckered nipple, sucking sweetly on it, causing a jolt of pleasure streak through my body to pool between my thighs. I gasped loudly at the sensation and brought my hands up to run my fingers through his hair. He alternated back and forth between my breasts, suckling, licking, nipping, biting. He left love bites all over, and I didn’t mind in the least. I was his – he could mark me up all he wanted to. I couldn’t stop moaning beneath his hot, wandering mouth.

He suddenly pushed himself off me, kneeling between my legs, sitting back on his now bare feet. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up to meet him. “I want to see all of you,” he ground out before kissing me, hard. He reached between us and gripped the bottom of my sweater, almost ripping it off my body and over my head, bringing my bra with it and tossing it unceremoniously over his shoulder. I let out a giggle as he gently pushed me back onto the mattress. I felt myself flush as his eyes roamed all over me, tracing all my curves with his fingertips. When he had finished exploring my body with his fingers, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly as covered my body with his. He continued leaving kisses all over my flushed skin.

I licked and kissed him when I could, any time any piece of his skin came close enough for me to reach. My hands ran over his shoulder and down his back, pulling at his shirt until it was bunched up in my hands so I could pull it up and over his head. I needed to be flush with him, chest to chest, skin against skin. He realized what I was after and reached one hand behind him, between his shoulders, and yanked the offending fabric away, throwing it to join my sweater on the floor.

I took full advantage of Sean’s being shirtless. I wrapped my legs around his and rocked hard against him, using momentum to get him to roll over so I was sitting astride his hips. I ran my hands up and down his chest, trailing my fingers down his stomach toward his belt buckle, teasing and tempting him. I bent over and planted soft kisses over his shoulders, his chest, down his rock hard abs, letting my long hair fall all over his skin, tickling him wherever my mouth wasn’t. I ran my tongue from his navel to his nipple, swirling my tongue around it then grazing it with my teeth. I grinned when I heard his pained hiss escape his lips.

He brushed my hair away from my face with his fingers, holding my head in his hands, and stared intently at me. “God dammit you’re beautiful,” he murmured, almost awestruck, before he brought me down to him for a searing kiss. His hands were all over my back, drifting lower and lower until he was cupping my ass and gently grinding his hips against me. I held onto his neck for dear life as he brought his arms to circle my ribcage and rolled us both until I was on my back again.

He kneeled between my legs again and ran his hands from my knees, down my thighs, gripping my hips tightly, then meeting at the button to my jeans. He popped the button open and slowly dragged the zipper down; his eyes never left mine the whole time. “I’ve been thinking about doing this to you for a long time. I swear, I can still remember the way you tasted on my fingers.” I blushed all over and felt something inside of me clench tightly at what he said, which had to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.

Sean pulled one of my legs up, bringing my foot within his reach, and pulled off my shoe, then my sock, before doing the same for my other foot. I braced my feet on the bed and pushed my hips upward as he tugged on my jeans, revealing my blue cotton panties to him. Once my pants were discarded, he dragged his fingertips up my shins, tickled at my knees, and slowly, almost tortuously, along my inner thighs. Just before reaching the fabric still covering me, he diverted his course and reached up to my hips, curling his fingers beneath the elastic waistband of my underwear, and pulling them down, baring my pussy to him.

My head was spinning, my mind fuzzy with desire. I could hardly believe this was happening. Then I realized, nothing was happening. I looked up at him, trying to decipher the look on his face. “What’s wrong?” I asked, instinctively closing my knees together, hiding myself from him.

“Nothing’s wrong, baby,” he said softly. “I just want you so bad. I can’t tell you how often I’ve thought about you, here in my bed.”

I lowered my eyes, feeling the blush creep over my skin again. “You aren’t the only one,” I said, fighting the urge to cover myself. “I’ve known I’ve wanted you since…well, since the last time I was over here.”

Sean kept his gaze on me, not breaking eye contact, and pressed a kiss to each of my knees, then covered them with his warm hands. He started to push to spread my legs, using delicate pressure to open myself to him. He placed another kiss to the side of my knee, then planted a string of kisses along my inner thigh. Much like he had done with his hands just a few moments ago, he stopped just shy of the crotch of my panties before bringing his lips to my other knee and duplicating his slow torment on my sensitive skin.

He left a string of kisses along the creases of my thighs, sending chills up and down my spine. I jumped as he repeated the motion, this time replacing his lips with the tip of his tongue. I cried out in surprise and bucked my hips toward him, subconsciously seeking more contact. My heart was racing as he placed delicate kisses on the outer lips of my sex.

“God, Morgan, you smell so good. I can’t wait to taste you. Are you ready for this?” he asked. As if I could answer him. As if I could think clearly enough to form any kind of complete thought. My brain had shut off, leaving my body to run completely on auto-pilot. I could only manage a weak whimper as a response and let my body ease its way further down the bed to get closer to Sean and his oh so tempting mouth.

My body froze in an instant as he grabbed my legs and threw them over each of his shoulders. I felt his tongue lick its way up my slit then swirl around my sensitive pearl. My hands flailed around, grasping at anything to keep myself from instantly falling apart. My legs threatened to close around his head until his arms wrapped around my thighs and held me in place. He continued his assault on my nerves, murmuring low and wicked against my over-stimulated flesh, “Mmm...you taste so good...so sweet. Like honey straight off the comb.”

He licked at my entrance again, letting his tongue dive deeper than before, teasing my inner walls. He made his way upward and latched onto my clit, tracing delicate patterns with the tip of his tongue. The feeling was indescribable – the flood of sensations beginning to overwhelm me. I jerked sharply when he wrapped his lips around the sensitive nub and applied suction...lots of suction. I fought to catch my breath, and was ready to let loose a groan that had been building deep inside me when I felt one of his fingers slide easily into my slick folds.

I gasped loudly and let out a choked off scream. His finger moved in and out, curving into me, rubbing just right against that hidden spot of secret pleasure that I had only heard about, though he seemed to be a natural at finding. The pressure building within me coupled with the wonders his tongue was causing were almost too much to bear. I could feel myself slipping toward the edge. I searched to grab something anything, to hold me together and found Sean’s shaggy blonde hair; I laced my fingers through it and held on for dear life. If I was holding on too tightly, he didn’t seem to mind, and I was much too far gone to care at this point.

Suddenly the world stopped. White hot pleasure overtook me, spanning from head to toe, nerve ending to nerve ending. My eyes rolled back in my head; I swear I saw stars, swear my heart stopped, swear all the breath rushed from my lungs. The sound emanating from me was one of pure satisfaction, pleasure, devotion and lust. The only indication that I hadn’t died and gone to heaven was the feeling of Sean’s mouth, busy between my legs, lapping up the juices pouring out of me. When he had drank to his satisfaction, he kissed his way up over my belly, paying homage to my breasts again, along my neck, before finally kissing me, letting me taste myself on him. I lazily draped my arms around his neck, holding him to me, surprised I even had the strength to move that much.

“You okay, babe?” Sean asked, his voice silky with sex. I could only nod in response as I panted to catch my breath while he chuckled and grinned at me. “Glad I could be of service.” He nestled into the cradle of my hips, the rough fabric of his jeans sending intoxicating sensations through my core.

Finding a hidden source of strength, I pulled him down for another kiss, this one slow and passionate, pouring my heart and soul into it. “Please, Sean,” I whispered when I caught my breath, “make love to me.”

Sean pulled back and searched my face, gauging my emotions, my sincerity. I kept my eyes locked on his, knowing if he found a trace of doubt, he would pull away and claim I wasn’t ready for this step. “Please,” I tried again, “teach me what it’s like.” He sighed softly then kissed me, his fingers threading through my hair.

I watched, a little forlornly, as he pushed himself off me and crawled off the bed. Was he leaving me? Had I asked for too much? Understanding dawned on me when he shoved his pants over his hips, taking his briefs with them, letting them drop to the floor. He leaned over and opened the drawer of his night stand, removing a square foil packet, tearing it open with his teeth, and rolling the condom over his length before rejoining me on the bed.

He crawled up between my legs and held himself up on his elbows, then looked me straight in the eyes; I wasn’t able to look away even if I’d wanted to. His eyes were dark and hooded with desire and seemed to be able to peer all the way to the depths of my soul. “Morgan, before we go one inch further, are you absolutely sure about this?”

“Yes, Sean. I’m sure I want this. I’m sure I want you. I’m sure I love you.” I don’t think I’ve ever said anything more true in my life.

“I love you, baby. I wish I could make this so it wouldn’t hurt you, but I can’t. I’ll go as slow as I can. It might kill me, but I want to make sure you’re alright every step of the way. You say the word and we stop,” he promised.

I grinned weakly at him, “I’ll keep my mouth shut then.” He smiled back at me. God, he looked as nervous as I was. He slid his arms around me, one behind my back, the other just above my shoulders.

“You ready?” he whispered as he aligned himself with my center. I could feel the head of his cock pressing against my opening, demanding entry. I wrapped my arms around him, mimicking how he was holding me, and nodded. “Just relax, sweetheart, breathe. I’m gonna take such good care of you, I promise.”

I took a deep breath and started to release it when he pushed into me, little by little, pushing my legs further open as his hips met mine, until he finally bottomed out, completely sheathing himself in me. I grasped at his skin in desperation, my fingernails digging into his shoulder and back. I could feel myself stretching to accommodate his size; I scrunched up my face, trying not to cry out at the pain I felt. A small, anguished cry escaped my lips as the breath I didn’t know I was holding escaped.

“Breathe, honey. Breathe. Relax. I won’t move until you tell me it’s okay,” Sean guided me through these first crucial moments. As I tried to follow his advice, he dropped sweet kisses all over my face and neck, keeping me there with him in this moment. Eventually my fingers released their grip on his back. My face relaxed, my body tried to unclench around Sean’s sudden intrusion. Despite my discomfort, I felt incredibly safe, cared for, and loved in Sean’s strong arms. Eventually the pain I felt gave way to mere pressure, which I found much more tolerable. I nodded slightly, looking up at him, letting him know I was ready to keep going.

He raised his eyebrows, silently checking to make sure; I lifted my head off the pillow and caught his mouth with mine, finding further comfort in his kiss. He slowly rocked against me, pulling and pushing in and out of me. I hissed my discomfort at first, his thrusts triggering a sweet agony inside me. He stopped, his body tense against mine, not wanting to hurt me any more than he already had. I moved my hips against him, tightening my embrace around him as the pain gave way to pleasure.

When he finally resumed his painstakingly slow thrusts, a low moan escaped my lips. Some base instinct had me pulling my knees up higher, hitching my thighs above his narrow hips; I felt him slip deeper inside of me. As he moved against me, my breasts crushed against his chest, I kept reaching up, kissing him, licking at him, every chance I could.

The tempo of our movements quickened, our bodies coming together with more intensity with each passing moment. We were at a fever pitch as Sean drove into me, taking me to new heights of pleasure, bringing forth gasps of bliss as we moaned our love and praise for each other. Our names became a litany between us, begging and promising more to each other.

“Mmm...Morgan...you’re so fucking tight. So perfect. I want you to come for me,” he grunted out in between thrusts. He readjusted and propped himself up so he could reach between us. He pressed his fingers against my clit as he drove into me.

The new angle, mixed with his fingers working their magic on me, had me spiraling out of control in no time. Each breath came out as a gasp of pleasure. “Oh...Sean...oh...oh my god!” I screamed as I found my second orgasm, losing myself in him. I felt myself pulsing around him as he drove harder into me, tensing up as he thrust one last time, finding his own release while buried deep inside me. I swear he came so hard I could feel the condom expand as he filled it.

He collapsed on top of me; my hands roamed up and down his back, reveling in the feel of his muscles beneath them. After a moment, he braced himself on his elbows and slowly withdrew from me, leaving me with a feeling of emptiness that reached to my very core. He lay on his side, still pressed close to me, and smoothed my hair away from my face then leaned in for a slow, passionate kiss. He pulled back, his eyes immediately searching my face to see if I was okay.

Before he could ask, I kissed him again and whispered, “I love you.”

He smiled broadly, “I love you, too.”

“Thank you for...this. It was...God, Sean, it was...”

“Incredible?” he offered.

I smiled up at him, “Yes. It really was. Better than I ever imagined.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me, “Oh really?”

“Really,” I giggled. “If I didn’t have to go, I’d ask if we could do it again.”

Sean leaned over and planted a quick kiss on my lips. “Girl, you are going to be the death of me. A man’s gotta recharge after something like that. Where you gotta go?”

I cringed, “Grocery shopping for mom. She thinks I’m out buying Christmas presents first,” I grimaced, suddenly feeling a little guilty.

“One hell of a shopping spree,” Sean teased.

“Oh, ha ha,” I said petulantly, narrowing my eyes at him. “Speaking of Christmas, are you coming to the Christmas Eve party?”

“Don’t I always?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Just making sure!” I responded. “What are...what are _we_ gonna do?”

Sean smirked at me, “Well, probably not this...” I rolled my eyes at him. “I guess we should probably play it pretty cool for a while. Don’t want to spring this on your dad in front of a bunch of people.”

“Oh I don’t know,” I mused, “It’d be harder for him to kill you with so many witnesses.” I giggled at his scowl and kissed his lips, trying to earn his forgiveness. “Alright. We play it cool. It’s gonna be hard, but it’s probably the best idea.”

“I’ll say it’s gonna be hard,” he muttered, gripping my hip and pulling me toward him so I could notice his cock coming back to life. Surprised, and a little impressed, my eyes shot up to meet his. “Not any more today, sweetheart. We’ll figure something out, alright. Besides, sounds like you need to get going.”

“I don’t want to leave,” I complained, even trying to pout in an attempt to stay here in his bed, in his arms.

Sean tightened his hold on me, “Trust me, I don’t want you to go. I’ll see you soon enough, I promise. Wild horses...”

I smiled and let myself get pulled into another of his soul-searing kisses. He gently pushed me away, his face showing how much it was killing him to do so. “Stay here,” he commanded as he stepped out of the room and down the hall. A minute later he returned with a hand towel. “Thought you’d want to clean up a little before going shopping.” I blushed a little as I took it, realizing just what a mess was lying between my thighs, still slick with the product of everything we had just done. “God, I love watching you touch yourself...” he trailed off.

His words shocked me, but had me smiling at the same time. I finished wiping and drying myself before gingerly getting out of bed and finding my clothes. I already felt a soreness between my legs, but didn’t mind it so much. It was a welcome reminder that Sean had made me his, had shown me how wonderful sex could be, had shown that he loved me. I watched as he slid into his well-worn jeans, his eyes never leaving mine.

Once we were both dressed, he walked me back out to the living room. “So...can I come over again sometime?” I asked. I already wanted a repeat performance of his love making skills.

“I think we can work something out,” he grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

The week trudged by slowly. The lead up to Christmas always seemed to be never ending, but this year was particularly rough on my nerves. I would jump at the chance to run any errands for my mom, and had started calling Sean when I left the house to meet him at his house for a while, usually ending up making out. I'd tell mom that traffic downtown was really bad or that the lines in the store were backed up, and amazingly enough, she always believed me. There was a certain thrill in sneaking around with Sean, but it paled in comparison to the way he made me feel when we were together.

Two days before my parents' Christmas party, Sean called me to see what my plans were for the night.

"Nothing really. Probably just stuck at home with mom and dad. Why, what's up?"

"Wanna do something?"

I grinned, "Like what?"

"I tell you what, I'll pick you up in 20 minutes and we'll figure something out."

"Sean," I said reproachfully, "what am I supposed to tell my parents?"

I could hear his smile over the phone, that mischievous little grin he got when he was up to something. "Just tell them you're meeting up with a friend. Come on, college girl, live a little."

I sighed against my phone, "Alright. 20 minutes."

"See you soon, sweetheart."

I hurried to make myself presentable, tearing off the t-shirt and jeans I had been wearing, opting for a cute top and a skirt my roommate had talked me into buying, quickly brushed through my hair, and rushed downstairs, explaining to my parents that I was going out to meet up with some friends from school. I figured the vaguer I was, the better.

I buttoned up my coat and slipped out the front door just as Sean drove up in his Dodge Charger. I hopped into the passenger seat and leaned over to meet him over the center console for a kiss. "Hi."

"Hey, beautiful," he said with a grin.

I blushed, grateful for the interior lights of the car dimming. "So, where are we going?"

"Ya hungry? I thought we could grab something to eat, maybe catch a movie," he suggested. The glint in his eye told me he had had something planned this whole time.

I snapped my seat belt in place, "Okay. Sounds good to me." He backed out of the driveway and peeled out, the force pushing me further back in my seat. I shrieked and laughed as he accelerated down the street. I looked over at him as he started laughing at my reaction and stuck my tongue out at him.

"Watch it with that tongue. You might not get it back," he teased, making me blush all over again. "Mexican sound good to you?"

"It sounds great, actually," I answered. We sped off through town, and I realized we had reached the city limits. "Um...where are we going?"

He glanced over at me and reached over to hold my hand, "I thought maybe we'd go somewhere where we wouldn't run into anyone we knew, have a little more privacy, you know?"

"Are you ashamed to be seen with me?" I asked, teasingly.

Sean looked over at me again and squeezed my hand. "You sure you wanna be seen with an old man like me?"

I rolled my eyes, "You're not that old. And yes, I wanna be seen with you."

"Oh, really?" he challenged. "So you're ready to tell your parents?"

I scowled at him. "Oh, shut up. That's different...it's tricky. I'll tell them, just...not yet."

Sean ran his thumb over my knuckle, "Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking forward to telling them either. I like by balls right where they are. I just think until we're ready to let this cat out of the bag, we might not want to be running around town together like this." He held our hands up, accenting his point.

"Alright," I agreed. "I get it."

We pulled up to a little hole in the wall Mexican place, with parking in the back, I noted. While the outside was run down and shabby looking, the inside was absolutely charming. We were seated at a corner table, complete with a vase with a single rose and a votive candle lit to assist with the ambience. It wasn't loud and flashy like any other Mexican restaurant I'd ever been to. "Wow, Sean. This is really nice." Tyler had taken me out on a couple dates, but they were usually to chain restaurants just a step above fast food that he could afford, being a broke college kid.

We placed our orders with Lonna, our waitress. I wrinkled my nose when Sean ordered extra guacamole for his burrito. Once Lonna left, he turned to me and asked, "What's with the face?"

"I just never really cared for guacamole. Anything with avocados is just kinda...blech."

Sean regarded me in silence, thinking something out again. I began to squirm in my seat, wondering what he was up to. He finally spoke again, "Maybe you've just never had it made for you the right way. It takes just the right amount of flavor," he reached over and tucked a wayward curl behind my ear, "and spice," he tenderly ran his fingertips down my neck and over my shoulder, "and the fruit has to be perfectly ripe," he traced along my spine before settling his hand over my hip and resting on my thigh. "Once you have the recipe perfected," he said with smile and a bad Spanish accent, like a bad impression of Antonio Banderas, "you need someone who knows how to combine all the ingredients together. Only then will you be properly satisfied." His hand had traveled down to my knee and was curling his fingers, slowly inching the skirt up my leg, until his fingers were grazing the inside of my knee. Somewhere along the way we had started leaning heavily into each other. I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

My breath was coming in short little gasps. "I, um...are we still talking about guacamole?"

His accent disappeared as he sat up straight again and gave me a grin. "Of course. What else would we be talking about?"

I giggled nervously and we immediately fell into easy, flirty conversation. It was one of the things I liked best about being with Sean: we already knew each other well enough that there weren't a lot of awkward pauses between us. We had more than enough in common to keep the flow of conversation going, peppered with easy compliments and witty banter. Just being near him like this had my heart rate speeding along, never really having a chance to settle down. The way he was looking at me all night didn't help my pulse slow down either. I could already feel the tell-tale slickness between my thighs under his steady gaze.

Lonna brought our food and refilled our drinks, pausing our conversation momentarily. Sean spread the guacamole all over his burrito and took a large bite, humming to himself in near bliss as he chewed, eyes closed, savoring the taste. Just watching him eat was really something to see. When he finally opened his eyes, he caught me staring at him, almost drooling over the sight of him in such a nearly orgasmic state...and over food. Maybe there was something to this whole avocado thing after all. He smirked at me, "Wanna taste?" Words had completely failed me, so it was all I could do to nod. I was expecting a forkful, but instead he dipped his finger into the green spread and held it out for me, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

 _Oh, two can play at this game, you little shit._ I leaned over and held his hand in mine, took his fingertip into my mouth, closing my own eyes as my lips wrapped around his first knuckle. I swirled my tongue around, licking off the creamy spread. As the spices diffused over my tongue, I moaned around his finger, sucking ever so slightly. I opened my eyes as I slid my lips back, kissing his fingertip before releasing his hand and returning upright in my seat. The look on his face showed he was just as turned on as I was.

"So? What'd you think?" he asked teasingly.

I grinned right back at him, "I think I could get used to it. Guess it all depends on who's...preparing it for me." I leaned back into my chair and started in on my taco salad, pretending as though none of our conversation had fazed me at all.

We finished our meal and Sean paid the bill. We walked arm in arm back to his car, and for a fleeting moment, I had thoughts of us getting cozy in his backseat. I kept quiet and hugged myself tighter into his arm. When we reached the Charger, Sean opened my door for me, but pulled me close to him before I could get in. He cupped his hand under my jaw, turning my head to face him directly, and lowered his lips to mine. His mouth slanted against my mine, his tongue teasing my lips, seeking entrance. I opened to him and he pressed me against the side of the car, leaning into me, his hips pressed against mine. I could feel his hardness rubbing against me, which only added to the wetness already seeping through my panties.

And then suddenly, he pulled away, his eyes blazing with desire, both of us panting to catch our breath. I cocked an eyebrow at him, "Still wanna go to the movies?"

Sean narrowed his eyes at me. "Yeah...I do," he said, accepting my feeble attempt at a challenge. He gestured for me to get into the car, closed the door behind me, and practically ran to the driver's side.

We sped through the streets to the movie theater in town. The parking lot was amazingly clear, until I realized it was a Tuesday night, three days before Christmas. I guess most people were out doing their last minute shopping rather than going to the movies. We stood in the lobby, trying to decide which movie to see. The next one showing was some action movie I'd hardly heard of, but Sean seemed to want to see it. He purchased our tickets and we passed on the snack bar since we had just eaten. We found seats toward the back of the theater, which wasn't really all that hard to do as there were maybe a dozen other people in the theater with us. The seats had moveable armrests; Sean lifted the armrest from between us and tucked it between our seats, then wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me close to his side, our thighs pressed closely to each other's.

The movie finally began after a slew of previews. We were a good half hour into the movie when Sean began to nuzzle his nose into my neck and nibble on my ear lobe. I was suddenly glad for the loud soundtrack and high paced action of the movie to hide any noises I might make. I felt his lips trail down my neck, the tip of his tongue tasting my flesh. His arm draped over my shoulders shifted until his hand was resting firmly on my breast. Eventually he pulled his hand back, only to slide it under my shirt and into the cup of my bra, teasing my nipple between his thumb and fingers. I leaned into him and sought his mouth, letting him swallow my moans of pleasure as he continued tormenting my already hardened nipple.

As the movie went on, I grew more and more bold, letting my hand trail up and down his leg until it rested on his thigh, my fingers dangerously close to his crotch, delighting in the look on his face as he fought to keep control. I could feel the pull of the fabric of his jeans tenting up around the bulge I found there. I leaned in close to murmur in his ear, "Are you really enjoying the movie that much?"

He turned all of his attention back to me, his look was one that said, "Oh, you're asking for it now." Electricity shot through me as he kissed me, hard, a kiss that was definitely meant to lead somewhere. Surely he wasn't thinking of doing that here in the movie theater...was he?

I felt his right hand on my knee, the knee closest to him, then move up to my thigh, massaging his way up and down my leg. He started curling his fingers, pulling my skirt so the hem dragged up my leg and over my knee. The next thing I knew, his fingers were touching the skin of my inner thigh...and working their way closer to my soaking wet panties. "I'm really fucking glad you wore a skirt tonight," he murmured naughtily in my ear. Before I could react, he covered my mouth with his as his fingers brushed against the crotch of my panties, tracing the line of my slit. I gasped and moaned into his mouth again, vaguely aware of the gunfire and explosions happening on the screen in front of us. A passing thought crossed my mind, worrying if anyone could see us, but it quickly vanished as Sean's fingers began to stroke the lips of my pussy, edging his fingertips under the elastic of my underwear.

He moved achingly slowly, giving me plenty of time to absorb all the sensations coursing through me, all due to his wonderfully magic fingers. His finger eased its way into my slit, drawing slow, tantalizing circles, not quite entering the place that wept for him, but tempting the slick folds up and down. Every so often he would flick his fingertip against my clit, and it was all I could do to bite down on my lip and hold in any sounds trying to force their way out of my throat.

The movie was starting to reach its climax just as I was about to find my own. Sean began pressing harder on my clit, drawing tight little circles against my sensitive nub. He slid one long finger into my center and kept up the assault on my clit with his thumb. "Cum for me, Morgan...I wanna feel you cum on my finger," he whispered. That was all it took; I pulled him over so I could kiss him, pouring my groans of release into his mouth as explosions went off on screen. A tiny part of my brain was laughing at the ironic appropriateness of his selection of movie tonight. The walls of my pussy quivered around his finger as I rode out my orgasm.

When I was finally coming down from my Sean-induced high, he pulled his finger from me and brought it to my lips, silently insisting that I clean it off. I wrapped my lips around his knuckle, as I had done at the restaurant, tasting myself on his finger. I was surprised; I didn't mind it as much as I thought I might. Sean smiled and brought his finger to his own mouth, lapping up the juices remaining on his skin. Once he was satisfied with that, he lowered my skirt and straightened my shirt for me, as all of my muscles still had a jelly-like quality to them.

The lights came up shortly after and Sean pulled me up to hurriedly exit the theater. We all but ran back to his car. For half a second, I thought we were actually going to wind up in his backseat, but instead he opened my car door, quickly closed it, and ran around to his side. I was thankful for all the horsepower the car had as we raced through the town and back to his house. We hardly spoke; I could tell he was tense with sexual frustration, and his mind was on one thing only – getting us back to his house as soon as he could.

We pulled up to his driveway and jerked to a stop. He leaned over the center console and threaded his fingers through my hair, pulling me in to kiss me. "I can't wait to get you inside and fuck you," he breathed against my lips. He pulled away and threw his door open; he began to cross to open my side for me, but I beat him to the punch, not wanting to waste any time in getting into his bed. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the front door. I giggled as he fumbled with his keys, amused at how on edge he was.

Sean finally managed to get the door open; I followed him inside, and he immediately shut the door behind us. I started to walk back toward his bedroom when he grabbed my hand and pulled me roughly against him. "Where do you think you're going?" I tried to get the words to form in my mouth but could only point toward his room. "Sweetheart, I don't think I'd even make it that far." With that he held my head in both hands and kissed me, guiding me backward until my back was pressed up against his front door. He shoved my jacket over my shoulders and down my arms; I heard it hit the floor behind my feet. He shrugged out of his own jacket and let it drop unceremoniously to the floor as well.

His hands slid down my sides, resting on my hips, and started inching my skirt up, gathering the fabric in his hands. As he did, my hands found his belt buckle and began to undo it, then popped open the button of his jeans and eased the zipper down carefully. I started to shove his pants and briefs over his sharp hips, revealing his already rock hard cock. When the hem of my skirt had come up enough, he curled his fingers into the waistband of my panties and shoved them down roughly, bending low until they were past my knees, where he helped me step out of them. He trailed his hands up my calves, my thighs, bringing the fabric of my skirt with him. He grabbed underneath my legs and lifted me up.

"Still wet for me, baby?" he asked as he lined the head of his dick with the entrance to my pussy. He slid in easily, eliciting a rough groan from both of us as he buried himself inside me, all the way to the hilt. "Oh, shit, Morgan. God damn you're so tight."

He had never taken me at this angle before, and I felt him stretching me on the inside, sending tiny jolts of pain through me that quickly gave way to intense pleasure, my flesh still not quite accustomed to such an intrusion. He pumped into me, fast and hard, one hand holding my skirt out of his way, the other pinning my arm above my head. I held onto him with my free arm tightly around his neck, holding on for dear life. My legs wrapped firmly around his hips as he plunged into me.

I could feel myself being driven closer and closer to the edge. My thighs tightened around his waist, and I could feel myself start to clamp down around his cock. "Oh...Sean...oh, yes..." I moaned against him, my voice rising into a crescendo as I raced toward my second orgasm of the night.

His rhythm began to falter as he found his own release, groaning loudly into my neck as he spilled himself into me. I could feel his dick twitch inside me as each spurt of hot, sticky cum filled me. Sean held me there against the door for a minute as he caught his breath, then slowly withdrew himself from me, leaving me feeling suddenly empty. I loved how he filled me so deeply and hated the sense of loss whenever he pulled away from me. I immediately felt our combined juices flowing down my thighs. I leaned heavily against the door, my legs not quite able to hold me up just yet.

Sean kissed me, softly, our tongues dancing together. "You okay?" he asked, concern written all over his face. I could only nod; my throat was hoarse from yelling so loudly. "I'm sorry about that. I just...I couldn't wait. You turn me on something fierce, baby. I don't know if I'll ever get enough of you." He kissed me again, "You're sure you're okay? I didn't hurt you or anything?"

I swallowed, trying to regain my voice. "I'm fine. I promise. It was a heck of a second time, though," I looked up at him through my eyelashes. I caught his blush in the dim light of the room and smiled as he chuckled, though his face looked lined with guilt.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. You got me going so bad, I kinda forgot you're still new to this."

I placed my hand on his chest. "Sean, I promise, I'm okay." I gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to kiss me. "It felt absolutely amazing...I love how you feel inside me."

Sean smiled, "I love you, Morgan. More than you know."

"I love you back," I whispered before kissing him again. I glanced over his shoulder and saw the clock on the wall. "Dammit...it's getting kinda late. Dad's gonna start to worry soon."

Sean rested his forehead against mine and sighed heavily. "Alright. I'll take you home. Wish you could stay the night," he said as he picked up my underwear and handed them to me. I took them and stepped into them as he zipped up his pants.

I flushed at the thought of spending all night making love with Sean, staying wrapped in his strong arms all night. The images in my mind had me starting to get aroused all over again. The next time couldn't come soon enough.


	6. Chapter 6

The next two days went by in a blur, between getting ready for Christmas, running last minute errands for mom to get things for the party, and cleaning and spiffing up the decorations around the house. The weather hadn’t helped much either, not quite raining, not quite snowing, making traffic a nightmare every time I left the house. Even if I could have found time to sneak out to be with Sean, I was so mentally exhausted, I wouldn’t have been much company. It didn’t keep us from texting back and forth every spare chance we got, though. Oh, does that man know how to text…

**_Hey, sweetheart. How’s your day going?_ **

**_Fine. Crazy busy. Mom’s got me running all over the place._ **

**_That sucks. You must be super tired._ **

**_You’ve been running through my mind all day._ **

**_Oh, Sean. Really? You’re resorting to bad pick up lines?_ **

**_Hey, don’t mess with the classics._ **

**_You’d know all about the classics. ;-)_ **

**_Is that an old man joke?_ **

**_Maybe…_ **

**_Watch it._ **

**_I may need to turn you over my knee and spank you._ **

**_Don’t tempt me._ **

**_Better yet, we could play house._ **

**_???_ **

**_You be the screen door – I can slam you all night long._ **

**_Oh my god…_ **

**_Really?_ **

**_Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t like it._ **

**_Like I said…don’t tempt me._ **

After a day spent doing last minute cleaning, my mom and I were setting out all the hors d’oeuvres and making sure drinks were ready for guests. I finished making mom’s famous mulled cider and headed to my room to change. I donned my ribbed, holly-red turtleneck and a pleated skirt, dark green and red plaid with a thin gold strand running through it. I slipped on my black flats, put in my cute Christmas-y earrings then quickly tamed my hair with my straightener.

I headed back to the living room, looking for anything else that needed to be done. I turned on the lights for the Christmas tree and started lighting the candles placed around the living and dining rooms. I was giving the space one last look when I heard a soft knock on the front door. I turned and opened it, noting that whoever it was had decided to show up close to half an hour early.

There standing on the porch was Sean, looking positively gorgeous in his black blazer with a crisp linen shirt underneath, untucked and the top couple of buttons undone. His jeans were faded just enough to look nice, but still have the edge he so often carried about him. I swallowed the dryness out of my mouth and softly mumbled, “Hey.”

Sean stepped into the front hallway, his eyes scanning the room behind me, then cupped my face in his hands and pulled me to him for a searing kiss. My knees almost gave out under me; my hands found their way under his jacket and held onto his shirt for dear life. His tongue sought mine, pouring everything he had into the kiss. I nearly groaned when he pulled away.

“Sorry, darlin’,” he said with his signature grin. “Can’t have us getting caught now, can we?”

Oh, this was so unfair.

“You look great,” he said quietly, his smile softening while the look in his eyes did a number on my pulse.

“Likewise,” I shot back, trying to sound less affected than I really was.

We stepped further into the room, the tension between us palpable. God, I wanted him. The fact that he kept sneaking glances over my way told me he more than likely felt the same way. He turned to face me again, crossing his arms in front of him, his arms straining against the fabric of his jacket sleeves. “So…how’s everything going?” he asked, as if we haven’t been talking every day since the night I showed up at his place. I knew we had to keep up appearances, but I couldn’t help but smile at his attempt to look nonchalant. His eyes were still burning into mine after our kiss.

“Things are good, Sean. What about you? Work going okay?” Two could play at this game.

“Yeah, it’s alright. You know me, I like to, uh, stay busy,” he looked at me pointedly. “I always need something to do, to keep me out of trouble.”

“Well, we certainly don’t want you to get into any trouble,” I replied with feigned innocence. “But you can’t just work all the time. You need to have some fun, right? Something to keep you young?” Sean narrowed his eyes at me, and I could read him loud and clear. I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face.

He was about to say something when my dad walked in, bringing his hand down hard on Sean’s shoulder. “Hey man! Glad you made it. Haven’t seen you in a while,” my father said, opening his arms for a hug.

Sean turned to hug my dad, clapping each other on the back as they always did. I watched as the men talked; it seemed like Sean was forcing himself not to look at me. “Yeah,” he said, “guess I’ve been busy...you know me. Always got something going.” He had a look on his face that I just couldn’t place, almost uncomfortable, and he made sure to keep his hands in his pockets, which was odd – he was usually very animated, like my father, and talked with his hands often. I realized he was doing what he had to so he wouldn’t be tempted to look at me or touch me and give anything away.

I joined my mother in the kitchen, double checking that everything was ready for our guests to arrive. Once we were both satisfied with everything, the doorbell began to ring. I was put on coat detail, taking everyone’s purses and jackets and hanging them on the temporary coat rack set up in my parent’s room. I soon had both arms full and headed back to hang them up. I walked back down the hallway and was just re-entering the living room when I almost ran smack into Sean, carrying another load of coats.

“Sorry, I was trying to save you a trip,” he mumbled, his eyes bearing down on me.

“Oh...thank you,” I gazed up at him, starting to reach for the bundle in his arms. More people were filing into the living room, and Sean and I both ended up with our arms full of coats. We both headed back to my parents’ room. “You can just leave them on the bed. I’ll hang them up. You should head back to the party,” I suggested to Sean.

He watched me as I hung up the coats for a moment, then stepped closer to me. “We’ll both get back sooner if I help.” I couldn’t argue his logic, so I just smiled and nodded and accepted his help.

Once we were finished, we made our way back down the hallway, hearing the loud sounds of our friends and family enjoying themselves, glasses clinking together as people toasted with egg nog and cider. Every once in a while I could hear the Christmas playlist filtering through the sound system. Suddenly Sean grabbed my hand and pulled me into my room. It was all I could do to not cry out in surprise. Once I was completely in my room, in his arms, he reached behind me and shut the door softly then immediately claimed my mouth with his.

His lips moved against mine as my arms wound around his neck, pulling myself closer to him until we were flush up against each other. I could feel the growing evidence of his desire pressing against my belly. When we finally broke the kiss, we were both breathless.

“Hey,” he mumbled, smirking at me again, his hands running along my sides, playing at my hips.

“Hey,” I sighed back, my fingers playing along the nape of his neck.

“I’ve got something for you,” Sean tightened his grip on me.

“Yes, I noticed,” I said with a grin.

He narrowed his eyes at me and gently pushed me away, breaking the delicious contact between us. I frowned, more than a little disappointed. I hated leaving the circle of his arms. “Smart ass,” he said, then reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box.

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, louder than I should have.

“Shh! Calm down,” he chastised me. “Just open it.”

I took the box in shaking fingers. ‘No way,’ I thought as I opened the box. ‘We’ve only really been together, what, a week? No way he got me a...’

“Oh, Sean!” I whispered. “It’s beautiful.” I reached in with my thumb and pointer finger, picking up the sun-shaped charm attached to a skinny gold chain. I pulled the chain loose from the box, then closed it and set it on my dresser. I clicked on my bedside lamp to get a better look. The pendant was simple, but elegant, about the size of a nickel; golden rays surrounded a topaz stone in the center...my birthstone. Tears began to prick at my eyes as _You are my sunshine..._ began to drift into my mind. I held the necklace out to him, asking, “Help me put it on?”

I swept my hair up to the back of my head, holding it there in my hand. Sean laced his arms around me, opened the clasp of the necklace, then fastened it, letting his fingers brush against the back of my neck which sent chills up and down my spine. The chain was the perfect length, allowing the pendant to fall just to the swell of my breasts. I turned around to show him, appreciating his gaze on me, then reached out for a hug. “Thank you so much!” I stepped back, suddenly mortified.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Sean asked, his face full of concern. “I know it’s maybe a little early for jewelry, but I saw it and it was screaming your name and...”

I cut him off, “No, no no! I love it. I absolutely love it. It’s just...god, my gift for you seems so stupid.”

The corner Sean’s mouth curled up, “You got me something?”

I blushed as I walked to my nightstand and pulled out a small box tied with ribbon, “Yeah...I’ve actually had it for a while. I was going to bring it with me, um, that night...when we first...you know...but I wasn’t sure you’d want...me.” I handed him the present, feeling more and more stupid by the second.

He took the box from me and pulled on the end of the ribbon, loosening the bow. He lifted the lid and pulled out my gift to him: an oversized, ornate silver key on a keyring. He looped the ring over his finger and dangled the key, cocking an eyebrow. “What is this to?” his expression seemed to say.

I flushed again and grabbed my car keys off my dresser, showing him a silver heart-shaped locket. “It’s supposed to be the key to my heart,” I muttered. “It’s so stupid, I know. If you don’t like it...”

This time it was his turn to cut me off, “Of course I like it.” He took a step closer to me. I could feel the heat radiating off his body. “And of course I want you.” His hand slid around me, resting on the small of my back, and pulled me into him, his mouth seeking mine. His hard on was just as obvious as before. “I _always_ want you.”

I pulled back a fraction, looking up at him; his eyes were dark with desire. “Here? Now?”

Sean nodded, “You in that damn skirt. Since I walked in, it’s all I could think about. I want you, right now.” The tone of his voice told me he was deadly serious.

“But...the party,” I stammered.

“We’ll have to stay real quiet...and be quick,” he whispered and he moved in for another scorching kiss. How was I supposed to say no to him? I felt his fingers pulling at the hem of my skirt, dragging the fabric over my thighs. His tenacity and insistence had me instantly wet for him, not to mention the risk of getting caught was kind of a turn on. I kicked off my flats as his fingers found the elastic of my panties and started pulling them over my hips and down my legs. He stood up after I stepped out of my underwear and my fingers immediately went to his belt buckle, making quick work of it, and undoing the button and zipper of his jeans, releasing his cock from its tight confines.

He kissed me, hard, his teeth biting at my lower lip, his tongue seeking mine; my hand wrapped around his shaft and started pumping him as his fingers found my soft nest of curls, curving them into my center. “God, you’re always so wet for me,” he growled as his finger circled around my clit, making my knees go weak. He caught me around my waist and lowered me onto my bed. His fingertips trailed from my knees, down my thighs, then caught the fabric of my skirt and flipped it up over my stomach, exposing me to him fully.

Sean reached into his back pocket and pulled out a foil packet, tearing it open quickly. He rolled the condom on and stepped to the side of the bed, aiming himself at my center. “You ready?” he asked, holding my thighs in each of his hands, my ankles resting on his shoulders.

“I’m always ready for you,” I whispered, and he slammed himself into me. I tried to stay quiet, I really did, but a sharp squeak escaped from my lips.

Sean’s hand immediately covered my mouth. “Shh...gotta stay quiet, baby. Think you can cum without making a sound?” He started pounding into me, fucking me hard. He kept his hand over my mouth, his other hand reaching between us to press his thumb against my clit. He drove deeper and deeper into me; I could feel my orgasm building already. “Come on, baby...cum for me.”

My hands were starting to cramp from gripping the sheets so hard. I felt so naughty, letting this beautiful man fuck me, all our clothes still on, save for my panties, all our friends right outside the door. His thumb circled around my clit, his pace never slowing for a moment. I fought hard not to make a sound. Sean took his hand away from my mouth, trusting me to stay quiet, and returned it to my thigh, using it as leverage to pound into me harder, deeper.

I didn’t make a sound, just barely whispered, “Oh, fuck...oh my god...oh...oh my god...Sean...I...oh my god...” Words gave way to tiny catches of my breath. Before I knew it, I could feel myself clenching around him. I held my breath as my climax rolled through me, my mouth wide open in a silent scream, wave after wave of pure ecstasy washing over me. He kept driving into me, making my orgasm last and last. Just when I didn’t think I could take anymore, he drove into me one, two, three times more, emptying himself as he found his release.

“Holy shit,” he whispered. He released my thigh and laid on top of me, pressing his forehead against mine before kissing me sweetly. “Good girl, baby,” he crooned in my ear. “Jesus Christ, that was intense.”

I was still trying to catch my breath when he pulled out of me. My body shuddered at the sudden emptiness it felt. I sat up and watched him dispose of the used condom, wrapping it in a Kleenex, just in case. He grabbed another tissue and kneeled in front of me. “Figure I need to clean up the mess I made,” he said with a grin as he wiped the slickness from my thighs and the lips of my pussy. Everything was still super sensitive down there, and as he worked, I couldn’t help but squirm against him. He looked up at me, then stood up, planting a kiss on my already swollen lips. “You are amazing, you know that?”

“I was thinking the same thing about you,” I replied. I watched as he reached down and picked up my panties, holding them out for me to step into. I stood up and placed my hands on his strong shoulders for balance, and reveled in the feel of him pulling the soft fabric back up my legs, replacing them, his hands lingering on my hips for a moment before cupping my ass.

“I love you. I want to show you off. I hate this sneaking around. I want to be able to take my time with you,” he said, his words melting my heart.

“I love you, too. We’ll figure something out,” I tried to sound convincing. I still wasn’t sure how we were going to make this work.

Sean kissed me softly and smiled, “So, the key to your heart, huh?”

I giggled quietly, “Yeah. I know it’s super cheese-tastic. I was going to have our initials engraved on it, but thought that would be a little much, and plus...” I trailed off.

His eyebrows shot skyward. “S and M?” he laughed incredulously. “Yeah, probably a good call on that one.”

“Hey, I may be blonde, but I’m not an idiot.”

“I would never, ever think that of you, baby,” his eyes bored into mine.

I reached up to hug him and planted one more kiss to his soft lips. “We should head back to the party. People are going to wonder what’s taking so long,” I said, reluctance weighing my voice.

“I doubt anyone’s missing us, but you’re probably right,” he responded, his hands running up and down my arms. “You might want to brush your hair out a little,” he added guiltily.

I checked myself in the mirror. I straightened my skirt and sweater, and quickly brushed through my hair. When I turned around, Sean was standing by the door, looking no worse for wear. I guess there were perks to wearing your hair messy like that all the time.

“I’ll head out first,” he said, “wait a little bit and then come out. If we came out together...”

“It would look suspicious. I know,” I nodded, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. It was strange to still be feeling the highs of our most recent...session...and the frustration and disappointment of not being able to share my excitement with anyone.

He kissed me one last time and slipped into the hallway. I stepped into my shoes and checked myself one last time in the mirror and followed him out, trying to appear nonchalant.

We ended up meeting in the entryway to the living room after all; a crowd of people were standing just inside the room, blocking our way in. I looked nervously up at him, not sure what I was nervous about. Could people tell what we had just done? Surely not, and we really hadn’t been gone all that long.

Suddenly I heard someone call out, “Hey look, the first victims of the mistletoe!” and every set of eyes in the room swept over to us.

I looked up and grimaced, then blushed. Shit. Now I knew why I was so nervous. Stupid plant. Stupid tradition. So much for keeping ‘us’ a secret. I peeked up at Sean. He was wearing the same expression I was. He shrugged and leaned toward me. He gently pressed his lips against mine, a far cry from the passion we had just shared in my room, but incredibly sweet all the same. He moved against me, oh so subtle, then pulled away, still gazing down at me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. I vaguely remember hearing the other guests cheering for us then returning to their conversations.

I took a deep breath, trying to control my reaction. Sean had just kissed me, in front of our friends and family...in front of my parents! I was sure my face was the same color as my sweater at this point. My brain had completely shut down. I couldn’t make myself move. It wasn’t until Sean’s hand found the small of my back and guided me past the group of people in front of us that my mind reconnected with my body. I headed toward the dining room, looking for something to drink, when I felt a hand close around my upper arm. I turned around and found myself staring into my mother’s stern blue eyes.

“We need to talk.”


	7. Chapter 7

My heart leapt straight into my throat as my stomach sank down to my feet. My mouth went dry and I could feel all the blood rush from my face. I fought to keep my composure, on the outside at least, looking into my mother’s knowing eyes. She knew. She had figured it out about me and Sean. I was so screwed.

I followed my mom through the kitchen and into the walk-in pantry. I braced myself for what was sure to come next. She wouldn’t yell; my mother seldom raised her voice, and when she did I knew I had crossed a major line. No, she would talk in that eerily calm voice of hers, letting her disappointment seep in and take hold in my heart until I couldn’t stand it anymore and would cave, willing to do anything to keep that sad tone out of her words. She wouldn’t accuse, she would wait for me to own up to my actions, to take responsibility.

The thing is, I didn’t see what Sean and I were doing as being wrong; on the contrary, everything about being with Sean felt absolutely right. Maybe at first things were a little awkward because of the transformation of our relationship, from friends into something more, but we’d cleared that hurdle quickly, together, never to look back. Would my mother ever be able to see things my way? Something told me that was not likely to happen, at least not any time soon.

I could see it now: not only would she forbid me from seeing Sean again, but she would threaten to pull back any support she and my father were giving me for school, forcing me to move back home, living under lock and key. She would say I’d destroyed any trust between me and her, that I was too responsible to be making such outlandish decisions. She’d say she’d lost all faith in me, and it would kill me. Good-bye social life, hello hell.

We stood facing each other; I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eyes and kept my focus on the floor. Unfortunately, there was so escaping her...literally; she was blocking the way out of the pantry. I knew she was waiting for me to make eye contact; that was her tactic, to get me to open up instead of hounding me for the information she wanted. Reluctantly, I dragged my eyes away from the floor. Her expression was one I couldn’t quite place. It was like something between sadness, anger, disappointment, and...something else...hopelessness, maybe?

“Oh, Morgan...” she began, shaking her head slowly. “The guy? The one you were just trying to figure things out with? The one who had you,” she swallowed, “glowing?”

“Yeah?” I asked, not able to admit to anything just yet.

“It was Sean? This whole time?” she whispered. All I could do was nod my head, but just barely, my eyes falling to the floor again. “Oh, Morgan, what were you thinking?”

I shrugged. Any powers of speech I may have had at one time had completely abandoned me.

“Oh, no. Don’t you start giving me the silent treatment now. How long?” she demanded, folding her arms over her chest.

I nervously played with my thumbnail, closely examining my fingers as they tied knots around each other. “Officially? About a week.”

She arched an eyebrow and gave me a very motherly look. She wasn’t buying it. “And unofficially?”

Oh...here it comes. She’s going to kill me. “A couple weeks before I went to college?” I said nervously, my answer almost a question.

“WHAT?!?”

“Mom, I can explain,” I started, not quite sure exactly how I was going to do that.

Her clenched jaw showed that her patience was running thin. “I think you’d better start explaining.”

A sudden thought came to me, “Do we have to do this now? With the party going on?” That’s it. Appeal to her inner hostess, the side of her that never wanted to make a scene if it was avoidable.

She shook her head adamantly. “Nu-uh. You aren’t getting out of this one that easy. Talk. Now.”

I sighed and took a breath, trying to think of the perfect words. “He was over here for the bar-be-cue. I was up in my room freaking out about going to college. I was scared because I was so...inexperienced.”

“So you slept with each other?” she hissed. I could see her jaw start to twitch. Shit she was really mad.

“No!” I replied, trying to keep my voice low. “Mom, up until then, I hadn’t even kissed anyone and I was going to be living down the hall from guys. I wanted to go to college with at least some knowledge of what guys would be expecting. All we did was kiss, I swear.” She seemed to relax a little. The problem was, I was a terrible liar, and she could see I wasn’t telling the whole truth. She fixed me with a glare, narrowing her eyes at me until I cracked. “That’s all we did that day, anyway.”

I froze as she inhaled sharply, her eyes widening dangerously, and eventually pressed on, spilling the details she needed to know, avoiding anything too intimate. “I saw him again over four-day break. I needed advice about a guy I’d been seeing at school, and he helped me. But with Sean helping me, I realized I really liked him...a lot more than the guy I was already seeing. I broke it off with the other guy. Then last week, we...became official,” I shrank back, hoping this simplified version of our story would be enough to calm her down and get her off my case.

It was my mom’s turn to stare at the floor as she processed everything I had just told her. The waiting for her reaction was just as bad as having to divulge all of this to her. I felt I had let her down, but not once did I doubt any decision I had made. I decided I needed to tell her so.

“Mom, I love him. I know it’s crazy and incredibly unconventional, but I do. He makes me really happy. We already know each other so well, and it just feels...right.” Tears began to prick the back of my eyes. It felt wonderful to let this out, but it scared me to death at the same time. “I’m sorry if I’m a disappointment to you, but I don’t think I could stop loving him if I tried.”

When my mom finally looked up at me, her eyes were glassy with tears, much like my own. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m not disappointed. I’m incredibly concerned, and not just a little pissed at Sean. Your father and I have only ever wanted you to be happy. I’m just...are you absolutely sure about this?”

I nodded fervently, “Yes. I know it in my heart, mom. I love him.”

She sighed, “I’m not going to try and tell you that you can’t see each other. I know better than to even try to keep you two apart. You’ve always made good decisions, and we’ve trusted you so far. I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing, what you’re getting yourself into.” She swallowed and lowered her voice, “You’re being careful?”

Oh god...sex questions? I cringed, “Yes, mom. We’re careful.” Well, most of the time, but she didn’t need to know that right now. “Are...are you going to tell dad?”

My mother breathed deeply, thinking her answer through. She rolled her eyes backward, looking up at the ceiling, almost as if she were praying for something. Guidance, perhaps. Her gaze returned to me, “I’m not going to go running to him and tell him, especially not tonight. I think he’d be pretty upset with you...and outright pissed at Sean. But if he asks, or if you two get caught, I’m not keeping anything from him.”

I nodded, grateful for this small concession from her. I crossed over to her and gave her a tentative hug, hoping she wouldn’t push me away. To my great relief, she pulled me in close. I fought hard not to cry on her shoulder. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” she replied. I was suddenly very grateful we had such an open relationship...and that she wasn’t screaming her head off at me.

“How did you know?”

She pushed me away gently to look at me. A half a smile crept over her face, “Your little stint beneath the mistletoe. You two were way too comfortable for that to be your first kiss. The way you couldn’t take your eyes off each other afterwards, I just knew. I didn’t know how involved you were, but I knew there was something going on.” I nodded and blushed.

Just by that the pantry door opened and Sean burst in, surprising us both; his expression looked equally surprised. He was probably expecting a scene much, much worse. “Em, I can explain,” he started, but mom cut him off.

“There’s no need to. I’ve heard all I need to hear right now.” She kept her cool, and Sean’s shoulders slumped a little in relief. “That doesn’t mean I’m happy with it, but you’re both adults and there’s not a lot I can do to stop you from seeing each other. I don’t necessarily approve, but I’m not stupid enough to think I can do anything about it.”

Sean and I shared a look, trying to rein in our excitement at the news that my mom was, for the most part, on board with all this, however unwillingly.

“But Sean, I swear to god, if this ends badly, if you hurt her, you will be facing a world of pain,” my mother’s voice had gone steely cold. She might be a tiny little woman, but she was a force to be reckoned with.

He took a small step toward me, reaching out for my hand, “Em, I swear. I would never, ever, do anything to hurt her. The only way I’m leaving her is if she wants me to go away. I love her.” He faced me, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I said softly, wanting nothing more than to lose myself in his arms.

“Alright, that’s enough,” mom held her hands up and lowered her head, not wanting to look. I blushed and tried to look contrite. Sean had the good sense to follow suit. We dropped our hands and stood in silence.

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Oh god...now my dad had found us. Oh, please, please don’t let mom tell him yet. He wrapped his arm around my mom’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple, then looked at the two of us, clearly wondering why we were all gathered here in the pantry.

God bless my mom and her powers of improvisation, “We were running low on olives out on the condiment tray, but neither of us could reach the jar on the top shelf. Sean had just come in to get it down for me.” Sean stared at her, just for a second, before reaching up to the shelf and grabbing the jar in question.

“Oh. Well, come on. Everyone wants you to sing O Holy Night. They’re waiting for you,” dad replied. “Come on, let’s get back to the party.” He shot a look over at me, “That’s a really nice necklace, Morgan.”

I fingered the charm hanging over my heart and smiled and blushed. “Thanks, dad. I just got it.” Oh, please god, don’t let him ask who gave it to me.

“Well, it’s really pretty. It suits you. Now come on, back to the party,” he laughingly commanded. Mom walked with him out to the living room.

“Holy shit, that was close,” Sean murmured. “I thought I was a dead man.”

“I told you they wouldn’t kill you with so many witnesses out there,” I teased.

The look on his face told me he wasn’t kidding this time. “Seriously, Morgan. That was fucking close.”

“I know it was, Sean. You didn’t have to go through mom’s mini-inquisition,” I replied, then took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves before rejoining the party.

“Maybe we should cool it, ya know?” Sean suggested, his voice suddenly softer than before.

Fear gripped my heart; I gasped. “What?” I whispered. What the hell did he mean? My eyes filled with tears almost instantly. “You mean...” I began, but couldn’t bring myself to say the words.

“No! God, Morgan no!” He cradled my head in his hands, his eyes never leaving mine. “I just told you and your mom I’m not going anywhere. I just mean while we’re here at the party. Don’t want to draw any more attention to ourselves,” he kept his voice soft, and moved his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.

Relief flooded my system. When my heart finally stopped beating in my throat, I nodded at him. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I admitted. “We need to get back out there.”

“Not until I do this,” he mumbled as he lowered his lips to mine. Our kiss was brief, but still wonderful. Every kiss we shared was perfect and set my heart fluttering and my head spinning. I hated pulling away from him, but knew we needed to get out there before anyone got suspicious. I squeaked past him and walked through the kitchen, feeling his presence behind me. I gave him one more look as we made our way back into the living room and we went our separate ways, mingling with our friends.

The rest of the night I caught up with everyone, some of them friends I hadn’t seen since last Christmas. I gave my almost rehearsed report on how all my classes were going, and no one seemed surprised that I was doing well in college. A few asked if I had met anyone special and I would blush and give a vague answer, telling them yes I had, and he made me really happy. If anyone asked if they’d ever get to meet him, I played innocent and maybe a little dumb, saying we’d just gotten together, and didn’t want to rush anything.

If they were really paying attention, they would have seen that every time someone asked me about my “someone special,” my eyes would drift over to glance at Sean. (Thank goodness for mom’s spiked punch, keeping everyone just this side of drunk.) Every time I did so, his eyes would meet mine, no matter who he was talking to. Was he out right staring at me all night? The thought warmed my heart...and had certain other effects on me as well. Man, I couldn’t wait for the party to be over so I could talk to him again. It was almost killing me to be in the same room with him and act as if he wasn’t there, as if I didn’t want to kiss him every time I our eyes met...as if I didn’t want to pull him back into my bedroom.

As the night went on, and the party wound down, our guests said their well wishes for Christmas and Happy New Years and made their way back out into the cold and on their way home. Sean stayed later than anyone else, helping us to clean up despite my mother’s protests. When he couldn’t prolong the inevitable any more, he hugged my parents, my mother more understandably more hesitant than my father, before coming up to me and wrapping his arms around me. It wasn’t the way he usually held me, but if he was trying to keep up appearances, especially for my mother, he was doing a good job of it. Just before he released me he whispered, “I’ll call you in half an hour. Love you.” He fished his keys out of his pocket and slipped out the front door.

I was suddenly grateful for the mood lighting mom had set for the party so my parents wouldn’t see my blushing. I worked quickly with my mom to make sure all the food and drinks were put away, keeping one eye on the kitchen clock the whole time. After a good 20 minutes, I gave an exaggerated, but hopefully believable, yawn and announced I was going to bed. I did my best to keep up the pretense that I was tired as I trudged down the hall to my room and gently shut my door. Once inside my room, I tore my clothes off and put on my night shirt, leaving my necklace to rest between my breasts. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to take it off. I plugged my cell phone charger in near my nightstand, making sure my phone wasn’t going to run out of juice any time soon, then went to the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed. Just as I re-entered my room, my phone started buzzing on my pillow. I answered, “Hey.”

“Hi baby. Some party, huh?”

“Ha, I’ll say,” I chuckled. “It was quite a night.”

“It certainly was,” he agreed. “Your mom seemed to take everything pretty well.”

“Yeah, she did,” I replied. “I asked if she was going to tell dad. She said she wouldn’t hide it, but she wouldn’t out right tell him either.”

“That’s a relief. Still…either we need to tell him, or he’s going to find out. He’s not stupid.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t know if he’s going to be as…accepting as mom was tonight.”

“Trust me, I read you loud and clear.” A brief moment went by without either of us saying anything. “So…”

“Yes?”

“I’m thinking you just need to wear a skirt all the time.”

“Oh really?” I asked, blushing a little.

“Well, I’d rather have you naked and in my bed, but you know, when we’re out in public…”

“Sean!” I whispered loudly, hoping my parents couldn’t hear me giggling.

“What? It’s true.”

“In your bed, huh?”

“That’s where I want you. I told you, I can’t get enough of you.”

“The feeling is mutual, sir.”

“Mmm…god I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I know…but I think mom and dad would notice if I suddenly disappeared Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.”

He sighed heavily, “You know, I usually didn’t mind being single at Christmas.”

“Well, sorry for the inconvenience.”

“No…that’s not what I meant. I want you here with me. I hate hiding this…especially from my best friend.”

“I know, baby. I know.” God, I just wanted to hold him. He sounded so sad. He was silent for a moment. “Sean?”

His voice was low and husky in my ear, “Damn…”

“What?”

“I like it when you call me baby.”

My breath caught in my throat. I smiled into the phone, “Oh really?”

“Mm-hmm. I like a lot of things you do.”

“Is that so? Like what, if I may ask?”

“Like the way you’re probably blushing right now.” Dammit. How did he do that? “I like that you’re sweet, and funny, and fucking smart as hell. I like that you’re real.”

“As opposed to all those imaginary girls running around,” I teased.

“Shut up. You know what I mean. You don’t put on any pretenses, you aren’t fake.” He paused, “Not to mention you’re beautiful.”

“Go on...”

“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?”

“I just figured you were on a roll.”

He chuckled, “See? That right there. You’re so damn quick.” He paused again, then said in a softer voice, “I love how you feel in my arms.”

My heart flip-flopped in my chest. “That’s my favorite place to be, you know.”

“Me, too. Well...technically second favorite.”

“Oh really? What’s your first favorite?” My curiosity gets the better of me.

He chuckles, “Oh, I bet you can figure it out.”

“Sean...tell me.”

His voice drops to just above a whisper, “I love being buried deep inside you.”

Oh my god. My breath catches in my throat and a shiver races down my spine.

“You okay over there?”

I swallow hard, “Mm-hmm.” My voice has suddenly jumped up an octave or so.

“You in bed?”

“Yes...” I murmured softly.

“Wish I was there to keep you company.”

“Mmm...me too.”

“I’d hold you so close, feel your body up against mine...”

“Sean...”

“Run my hands up and down your sides...play with your perfect tits...”

“Sean, what are you doing?”

“Next best thing, darling. Want me to stop?”

“I didn’t say that.”

He chuckled again, “Good. I want you to play with your nipples.”

“What?”

“Come on...play with them for me.”

I rolled my eyes and fell onto my back, propping my phone between my shoulder and my ear. My hand slid under the bottom of my night shirt and slid up my torso and played with my nipples as he requested. “Okay,” I breathed shakily.

“Both hands. I want you to squeeze your tits and then twist your nipples.” I did as he asked, trying to control my breathing. His voice sounded so damn sexy in my ear. “I can hear you breathing heavier...good girl.” I moaned very softly into the phone. How did he have this kind of power over me even when we were apart?

“Alright, baby...I want you to move one of your hands down over your tummy and slide into your panties.”

“Sean...my parents are just down the hall.”

“Then you better not make a fucking sound. Come on, Morgan. I want you to play with yourself.”

“Well, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well...are you...?”

He laughed softly, “Don’t you worry, I’ve got everything well in hand.”

Oh my god. There was something undeniably sexy about the thought of Sean getting off just listening to me playing with myself. I took in a deep breath and trailed my fingertips from my breast, over my stomach, and under the elastic of my panties. “Alright.”

“Alright, what?”

“I did what you asked me to do.”

I could hear the smirk through the phone, “And just what is that?”

He was such a little shit sometimes. I humored him, “My hand is in my panties. What would you like me to do now?”

“Mmm...take one finger and just play along the outside of your sweet little pussy.” I shifted a little and spread my legs, giving me a better angle to do as he wanted. I let out a soft moan to let him know I had done it. “Now take that finger and run it up and down between your lips.”

“Sean...”

“Please, baby?”

My finger followed his instructions and I let out a breathy gasp. “Shh, sweetheart. Not a fucking sound. Now push your finger in deeper...deeper. Tell me what you feel.”

Jeez, now I had to use words? I whispered, “I’m wet...warm...I want you here.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“I want you to touch me, Sean.”

“Is that all you want me to do?”

That was a stupid question. “No.”

“Tell me what you want, Morgan.”

“I want you, Sean. I want you so bad.”

“I know, baby. I want you, too. Until then, I want you to keep playing with yourself. Touch your clit, baby.” I did as he said, drawing tight circles around my sensitive pearl. I’d never touched myself before, never saw the appeal of it. Boy was I mistaken. My breath came in hard pants as my finger worked against my delicate flesh. “That’s it, baby. Imagine me, licking your sweet pussy, teasing your clit. Move your finger down lower...then back to your clit...and back...and up.

“God dammit I want to fuck you.”

All I could do was breathe into the phone. I was afraid to give any voice to the sensations coursing through my body. I could hear him huffing and puffing a little and imagined him jerking off the sounds of me playing with myself. God, this was so hot!

“Come on, Morgan. Cum for me. I want you to cum so hard.”

I held my breath, as I had done earlier this evening. My breath rushed out in a whisper, “Oh Sean...oh my god...” before it caught in my throat, strangling a scream of intense pleasure as I climaxed. “Oh my god...oh my god...” was all I could get out as my orgasm coursed through me. I clenched my thighs together and ground my hips against my own hand. I heard his own growl of release from his end and smiled as I realized that even over the phone, we could get each other so worked up that we finished together.

My heart finally began to slow, my legs spread wide in relaxation.

“You okay over there?”

“Oh my god...Sean...that was...”

“I didn’t just put myself out of a job, did I?”

I giggled softly, “Most definitely not. Nothing like the real thing, right? Still...that was...oh my god.”

“Yeah...me too,” he mumbled.

“I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“Phone sex?”

“No...touch myself,” I said, feeling myself blush in the dark at my confession.

“No shit? How’d you like it?”

“It was...good. I’d much rather be with you for the real thing, though.”

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too. Soon, I promise.”

I yawned, not able to contain myself.

“Did I wear you out?”

I giggled softly, “Something like that.”

“Get some sleep, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you soon, alright?”

“Mm...alright,” I mumbled. Sleep was pulling me under very quickly.

“G’night, Morgan. I love you.”

“Love you too, baby.” I heard him hang up, put my phone on my night stand, and swiftly fell into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day came and went. I went with my parents to visit both sets of grandparents, catching up with my relatives. It was good to see everyone, but my mind kept drifting back to Sean. What did he do on Christmas? I hoped he had someone to be with, to visit, so he wouldn’t be alone, especially over those two days. My heart was wrapped in guilt at the thought of him sitting alone. I started thinking of ways that I could tell my dad about us without him killing Sean or disowning me. So far I hadn’t come up with many options.

I texted Sean when I could surreptitiously use my phone. My grandparents disproved of using technology, our new-fangled toys, while we were there as guests in their house. I understood where they were coming from, and wanted to respect their wishes, but couldn’t bring myself to just ignore Sean, to leave him by himself, even if the only company I could be was through random, sporadic text messages. I let him know I would make it up to him.

It was tradition every year for my mother and me to hit the stores the day after Christmas, though not necessarily to go shopping. We basically spent the day people watching, though we’d hit the odd sale, grabbing up decorations and cheap candy. Things were a little awkward at first, the tension from the Christmas party still stretching between us, but as the day went on, that tension melted and our relationship healed itself. We needed this time together. Mom never brought up the topic of me and Sean, and I certainly wasn’t going to tempt fate. No, today was just for us, and I wanted to keep it that way.

We’d been home for a while, getting ready for dinner, when Sean texted me. He’d sent me a link to something. I snuck up to my room to see what it was. The link took me to a YouTube video. I watched it and my heart melted as the song played:

_Maybe it’s much too early in the game_

_Ah, but I thought I’d ask you just the same_

_What are you doing New Year’s, New Year’s Eve?_

_Who’s gonna be the one to hold you tight_

_When it’s exactly twelve o’clock at night_

_Welcoming in the new year New Year’s Eve?_

_Maybe I’m crazy to suppose_

_I’d ever be the one you chose_

_Out of a thousand invitations you receive_

_Ah, but in case I stand one little chance_

_Here comes the jackpot question in advance_

_What are you doing New Year’s, New Year’s Eve?_

I typed back my response: **_Would you like my real answer?_**

****

**_Of course._ **

**_Well, hopefully I’m spending New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend._ **

****

**_What?_ **

**_You called me your boyfriend._ **

**_Did I now? That’s awfully presumptuous of you._ **

**_Ouch! My wounded heart._ **

**_Oh, stop it._ **

**_I would love to spend New Year’s with you._ **

**_You know, I’ve never had a date for New Year’s before._ **

****

**_I thought we could just spend the evening at my place._ **

**_If that’s okay with you._ **

**_Sounds wonderful._ **

**_Come over around 4?_ **

**_We’ll run to the store and pick up whatever snacks we want._ **

****

**_It’s a date._ **

**_Shopping with Sean. It sounds like a weird TV show._ **

**_So..._ **

**_So...what?_ **

**_So what was your other answer?_ **

**_Oh. You._ **

**_???_ **

**_What am I doing New Year’s Eve?_ **

**_You._ **

**_You are killing me._ **

**_Need me to give you mouth to mouth?_ **

**_Yes. Please._ **

**_Or mouth to something..._ **

**_Seriously, you’re killing me._ **

**_I’m sorry. I’ll stop._ **

**_Don’t you fucking dare._ **

**_Dammit. Dinner time. I’ll call you tonight?_ **

**_Looking forward to it. ;-)_ **

The next four days seemed to drag on forever. Any time mom needed an errand run, I jumped at the chance. She had started giving me a pointed look, raised eyebrow and all, and I sent her back a pleading look of my own. She would end up rolling her eyes and shaking her head, but then the tiniest smile would grace her lips, and I would bolt out the door and call Sean. I tried not to rub it in my mother’s face that I was going to see him, and she seemed to understand that.

Sometimes Sean would join me on my errands, grabbing a coffee or walking with me through whatever store mom needed me to go to. I loved just being with him. The sex was fantastic, but we both knew that wasn’t just what our relationship was about. True, when we were together, we took full advantage of our privacy and made out like a couple of teenagers...I guess I wasn’t so far removed from that in reality. Our phone conversations were fun and flirty, but we talked about everything under the sun; all the little things we didn’t already know about each other.

Mom suggested I spend some time with some of my friends from high school. I realized I really hadn’t spoken to any of them since graduation, save for the random text or comments on Facebook. I didn’t have all that many friends to begin with, at least not many that I would hang out with regularly while I was in high school. I called up the old group and arranged to meet everyone for a late lunch to catch up on the past six months.

We all had basically the same story from our first semester at college, but it was good to hear everyone’s different version to tell. We all had that one professor that took things way too seriously, one that tried way too hard to be the students’ friend, and one that we could feel we could talk to about all kinds of stuff. The conversation eventually came to talking about boyfriends and girlfriends. We had all been single at graduation, and most had stayed that way once they got to college. Just me and one other girl had any kind of boyfriend, and I let her give up all her juicy details, letting the group’s attention stay on her. Once she decided she had said enough, she looked over to me and asked about my guy.

“He’s good...really sweet, and funny. I really like him a lot.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell them I was head over heels in love with him...not yet at least.

“Is he another freshman?”

I paled a little, “No. He’s...older.”

“Like a junior? Senior?”

I smirked, thinking how much he’d hate it if I told them he was a senior alright. “Um, no. He’s not a student.” I couldn’t lie to my friends...I just couldn’t.

“OH MY GOD! Morgan! Are you sleeping with one of your professors?” my friend Sabrina asked, far too loudly for my comfort.

I stared at her, completely gob smacked. Before I could answer, everyone else piled in, giving me a hard time, and while I couldn’t lie to them, I couldn’t tell them the truth either. My face grew more and more red as they came up with different scenarios. Rather than fighting it, I played along and hoped to god they all knew I was joking.

We had been at the restaurant for at least two hours, and the dinner crowd was starting to trickle in. We paid our bills and headed to the parking lot. Sabrina suggested everyone get together for New Year’s. The group agreed it sounded like fun, but I stayed quiet. She asked me if I was going to come and I smiled shyly and told them I already had plans.

“With who?” I gave her a pointed look. “Wait...you’re not with one of your professors?,” Sabrina teased.

“No. I’m not.”

“Well...fine. Stay secretive then.”

I rolled my eyes, “Oh, don’t be like that, guys. It’s just...still kind of new. I don’t want to make it any bigger than it really is,” I lied through my teeth. Ugh. I knew what Sean meant. Not being able to tell my friends was killing me.

“Alright, alright,” Sabrina tried smoothing the situation. “Well, have fun. It was good seeing you.”

I hugged my friends goodbye and headed to my car. Sean had said he had a lot of stuff that needed to get done before the end of the year, so I headed home. Along the way, I devised a plan for New Year’s...and started praying that it would work.

New Year’s Eve finally came. I had packed an over-night bag and had a grocery bag of snacks I had bought on one of mom’s errand runs. I had told my parents about my friends planning a little get together. My mom kept giving me looks that showed she was not convinced, but she stayed true to her word and didn’t pry or openly doubt me. No, I just had to live with the guilt of bold face lying to my parents. I tried to rationalize – was it really a lie? My friends were having a party, and I was going to a friend’s house...just not the same house as the rest of my friends. I shouldered my bag and headed to the living room. _Waiter, I’ll have an order of guilt with a side of self-loathing, please._

“Okay, I’m going. See you next year!” I announced to my parents.

Dad looked up at me, “Alright, kiddo. Have fun.”

Mom gave me another knowing look. “Yes, but not too much fun,” she warned.

“Don’t worry mom. I’ll be careful,” hoping she got the point.

Before she could say anything else, I headed out the door. A few flakes had started to fall, lightly dusting the ground, but nothing was sticking to the roads yet. I vaguely remember hearing a weather report calling for winter weather, but didn’t pay much attention, focusing instead on spending the night with Sean. Still, if there was supposed to be snow, I figured I shouldn’t park on the road, so I pulled into Sean’s driveway. I all but ran up to his front door and knocked.

The door swung open, and my eyes poured over Sean in his worn jeans, superman slippers, and an incredibly comfortable looking sweater – just right for cuddling. “It’s about time you got here.”

I scoffed at him as I walked in, dropping my bags on the floor by the door. “You said four o’clock. It’s three forty-five!”

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” he asked, his voice low and husky. He shut the door behind me and stepped closer to wrap his arms around me.

“Um...since the day after Christmas?” I hazarded a guess while running my hands up his arms to meet behind his neck.

He shook his head. “Since the last time you spent the night. I get you all to myself, and I’m keeping you as long as I can.” He lowered his head and kissed me softly, at least at first. Our kiss turned passionate, as if we suddenly couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t taste enough, couldn’t get enough of each other. He broke the kiss; we both fought to recover our breath. He murmured low in my ear, “Come on. Let’s get the shopping out of the way so I can get you back here and we can get back to this.” He accented his point, squeezing my butt before releasing me to slip on his shoes and a very warm looking pea coat. God, he looked good enough to eat in that coat. _Later, Morgan...later,_ I reminded myself.

We took my car to the grocery store, grabbing a frozen pizza, a couple frozen appetizers, and a roll of cookie dough. “You really think we’re gonna eat all this?” I asked him.

“Hey, you never know. The weather guy was saying it’s supposed to snow pretty bad tonight. Gotta keep you fed and...happy,” he winked at me. “Speaking of, we ought to get bread, milk and eggs.”

We walked toward the bakery, then toward the dairy aisle. “Why is it everyone gets bread and milk when it snows?”

Sean looked down at me. “Ya know, I don’t know. Guess back in the day they were just staples that you didn’t want to run out of.”

“Back in the day...before frozen food and decent refrigeration? You know, your childhood?” I teased. I grabbed a package of bacon and started down the ailse.

He narrowed his eyes at me, “Oh you are fucking asking for it,” he growled at me.

I gave him a cheesy smile and reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “Oh, calm down. I’m just kidding. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Damn right you will,” he mumbled.

“Sean...” I whined petulantly, “please don’t be mad. I’ll make you French toast tomorrow...now that we’ve got all the ingredients.”

“I’ll hold you to that, but you are still gonna get it.”

We walked toward the front of the store to pay, Sean grabbing a bottle of champagne along the way. I stomach started bubbling as the idea of spending my night with him became closer to a reality. We grabbed the grocery bags and headed to the parking lot, finding the snow coming down quite a bit harder now.

I unlocked my car, slid behind the steering wheel and started the car, trying to warm up the interior. Without a word, Sean reached into the back seat for my ice scraper and started clearing off my windshield and windows. I couldn’t stop the smile from stretching across my face. _Sigh...what a gentleman._ When he got back in the car, I leaned over, reached to hold his face in my hands, and brought him in for a quick kiss. I released him and put the car in gear to drive off.

“What was that for?”

I looked at him, confused that he had to ask, “For cleaning off my car for me.”

He shrugged, “What was I gonna do? Sit in here while you did it?”

I giggled, “You’re so sweet. I just love you.”

“Love you, too,” he said softly, looking at me, a wonderful tenderness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry for the age joke earlier,” I admitted. “I really didn’t mean it.”

“Eh,” he shrugged again. “Already over it.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, “Don’t think I’m not gonna get you back, though.”

I grinned, “Bring it.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking for, girlie.”

We carried on our back and forth teasing the rest of the car ride to his house. I grabbed the groceries while he set my wiper blades so they pointed up and away from the windshield, then hurried up the walkway to open the front door for me. I went straight to the kitchen to put all the food away, then grabbed my bag of snacks that I had brought with me and arranged them on the counter. I felt Sean’s warm hands circle my hips and his lips graze along my neck. I grinned and spun in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling myself close, pressing my breasts against his strong chest.

His hands increased the pressure on my hips and I was suddenly airborne; Sean lifted me to sit on the countertop. His hands ran from my hips, down my thighs, until they landed on my knees, gently pushing them apart. He stepped into the space between my legs, bringing our bodies flush together, all the while teasing and tempting me with kisses along my neck, my jaw, that sensitive spot just behind my ear.

“I want you. Now,” he breathed into my ear. His hands found the hem of my shirt and pulled it off me in one easy motion, then reached behind me to undo the clasp of my bra. Once he had discarded the garment, he tightened his grip on me, bringing me back into his strong embrace. The soft fabric created a delicious friction on my breasts, bringing my nipples to tight peaks.

Still, it wasn’t enough. I fought to bring my arms to his waist and tried to pull his sweater up, making little progress. Sean leaned back and pulled it up and over his head, letting it fall to the floor. He brought his hands to the sides of my face, kissing me tenderly as his fingertips trailed down my back, my sides, landing at my waist. His expert fingers unfastened the button of my jeans and lowered my zipper, Next thing I knew I was in the air again, his arms wrapped around me, his hands cupping my ass. He carried me from the counter to the kitchen table; it was small, but sturdy. He laid me down on the table top and dragged his fingers over my skin, bringing goose bumps to my over-sensitized skin. When his hands met my waist line again, he tugged sharply at my pants and underwear, lifting me part way off the table as he fought to get me completely naked.

Once my pants were lying in a heap on the floor, Sean stepped between my legs, parting my thighs, and started teasing my clit with his fingers, then stroking up and down my pussy, already dripping wet in anticipation of him. He plunged his long fingers into me, caressing my inner walls. “Oh, baby...I love how you’re always so wet for me.” He made quick work of his own pants, undoing them and shoving them over his hips, just enough for his erection to spring free.

My body rocked hard against the table as he slammed into me, forcing a loud groan to rip from my throat. He held tight to my hips as he pounded into me, then ran his hands down my thighs, past my knees, my calves until he was gripping my ankles and bringing them to rest on his shoulders. He leaned into me, practically bending me in half. The angle was exquisite; Sean was very well endowed anyway, but the way he was taking me now made it feel like he was stretching me more than ever before. I was helpless to stay quiet when every move he made created a feeling of absolute ecstasy inside me. In no time at all, I could feel my orgasm building. My hands gripped his biceps as he thrust into me, reaching places he never had before.

I was on the brink of climaxing, closing my eyes and letting the sensations take hold, when I felt a sudden sharp pain on my ass, accompanied by a loud _SMACK!_ My eyes snapped open in surprise to see Sean’s wicked grin beaming down at me. He spanked me again, and I nearly jumped off the table. His hands found my hips again and kept up his pace. “Cum for me, Morgan. Come on, baby.”

My orgasm ripped through me at his command. My screams of pure bliss echoed around the kitchen. Sean continued thrusting into me as waves of pleasure washed over me; suddenly I felt him pull out of me, leaving me feeling empty, my body missing him already. I felt his hot spray of cum splatter on the backs of my thighs, dripping down my ass.

He ran his hands gently up and down my legs, guiding them to rest on his hips. We were both breathing hard, trying to catch our breath. Sean leaned over and kissed me sweetly. “You okay?”

I nodded and answered breathlessly, “Yeah...that was...really good.” I swallowed then grinned at him. “You got a little rough there, didn’t you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He matched my grin, “I told you I’d get you back. Teasing me about being old...that oughta teach ya, you little whipper snapper.”

I let out a loud laugh and pulled him down for another kiss. “I love you so much.”

“Love you, too. Let’s get you cleaned up and get to ringing in the new year.”

“You mean that’s not what we just did?”

Sean pulled me upright again and kissed me, pouring all sorts of passion and promise into the kiss. “Trust me, Morgan, I’ve got much more planned for tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was just NOT working with me – dang muse was being a royal bitch. I’m very sorry for the delay in updating. On top of that, once I got going, I realized if I kept going until all their “festivities” were written out, I may never get to update. So, this will be a 2, maybe even 3 part chapter. The good news is now I know where I’m going with this...at least to get them through New Years. So enjoy, and please, leave a comment letting me know what you think, what you’d like to see happen, thoughts, comments, questions, complaints, whatever. Thanks for all your follows and reviews so far – they mean the world to me.
> 
> Kind of random, but when I work on these stories, I usually have my iTunes on shuffle. While working on this chapter, Let it Be came on. Sigh...shine...until tomorrow. Just wanted to put that out there.


	9. Chapter 9

I followed Sean into his man cave, where he kept all his ‘toys.’ We ran through our list of options as far as what do to pass the time before midnight. He had seemingly hundreds of movies to choose from, board games, all kinds of different video games; I swear he was like a big kid sometimes. We decided that the board games were out of the question, since it was just the two of us, and instead opted to play some PS3. He picked WWE ’14. I had fun creating my own kick ass wrestler, but complained that I’d never played before and had an unfair advantage. Sean gave me a crash course, though none of his pointers were really sticking in my brain. Instead of any kind of strategy, I just kept hitting random buttons and hoped for the best.

Apparently I was some sort of savant at the game, and pinned his character quickly. I giggled at his scowl and accepted his rematch, feeling a little guilty when I beat him again. “This is a stupid game, anyway,” he grumbled and I held back a snicker.

I set down my controller and crawled over to straddle his lap. “Aww, don’t be upset baby. You can pin me later,” I teased and kissed him sweetly. His hands roamed over my back, my hips, up my chest to cup my breasts. I giggled against him, “Hmm, unless you’d rather pin me right now,” I murmured, trying to sound seductive, grinding my pelvis against his.

He growled in my ear, “You’re gonna kill me, girl.”

“Hell of a way to go, don’t you think?”

“It truly would be,” he agreed. “Later, though, okay?” he asked and planted a quick kiss on my lips. I nodded, only mildly disappointed (I was still a little tingly from our last time), and climbed off him.

He switched games out, putting in a virtual sports game. We played a couple matches of tennis, each of us winning once, then switched to bowling, where he thoroughly stomped me. Apparently I wasn’t following through well enough, so he started giving pointers. “You know, this is why I don’t do sports. I’m not coordinated at all.”

“Nah, you just need a little help. Here,” he came up behind me and pressed my back to his front. His left hand rested on my waist while he slid his right hand from my shoulder down to my hand, his fingers wrapping around mine. “Pull back nice and slow, keep your arm straight, and when you follow through, it’s like your reaching out to shake hands with the pins.” He extended our arms together, holding them parallel to the ground, his chin coming up to rest on my shoulder. He turned his head and kissed my neck, nipping and teasing at my skin.

I turned into him, sliding my arms around him, and reached up on my tiptoes for a kiss. I meant for it to stay quick, innocent, but Sean had other ideas. His lips moved against mine, his mouth insistent. He licked at my lips, and I opened to him immediately. Our tongues danced together, tasting each other, drawing sighs and moans as our kiss continued to grow deeper.

After a short eternity, and yet all too soon, Sean pulled back, breaking our kiss. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s finish the game and then we’ll get dinner going.” He turned me to face the screen and released my shoulders, swatting me on the butt before giving me space to take my turn.

We finally got through all ten frames (Sean won, of course), and we headed back to the kitchen.

Sean started up the oven, preheating it for the pizza we’d brought back with us from the store. I began preparing the rest of the food, mixing together the dip for the chips I’d brought, pouring them into a large bowl, then arranging potato skins onto a cookie sheet before placing the frozen pizza on the pizza stone.

“You certainly seem to be comfortable working in my kitchen, Sean commented from his spot leaning against the counter.

I smirked at him, “Yeah, and I’m barefoot, too. Only thing missing is...”

“Don’t even fucking say it,” he cut me off, his tone completely serious.

“Wow. Okay. It was just a joke,” I tried to appease him. “You...you don’t want kids, then?” Geez, we’ve been together for how long and we’re already having this conversation?

Sean chewed on his bottom lip, and I knew he was thinking everything through before answering me. He walked over to me, enfolded me in his arms, and held my gaze. “Morgan, I love you. I love you a lot. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish things were different for us.” He paused and took a deep breath, his voice lowering, “I’ve been thinking a lot about where this is going.”

“Sean, you’re kind of scaring me,” I whimpered.

He smiled down at me. “Let me finish.” His hands skimmed up my back, then trailed down my arms, holding my hands in his. “I can’t seem to get enough of you. It’s killing me that I can’t tell my best friend how very much in love I am...how much I love you. Even more than that, I hate that in a couple weeks, you’re going to be five hours away from me. I don’t know how to handle all that.”

“Sean, seriously,” I begged, my voice shaking, my hands trembling in his. Tears were threatening against the back of my eyeballs. “Are you...” my voice broke. I swallowed and tried again, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“God, no!” Sean all but yelled. “Morgan, I...Jesus, I don’t know. It’s crazy, completely fucking insane, but I...shit this is coming out all wrong.” He breathed heavily, looking at our joined hands. “I would never, ever, ask you to give up any of your plans. I don’t want you to even think about dropping out of college or anything, but I want you...I want more of you...all to myself. The secrecy aside, I think being five hours away from you for weeks, months on end, might just drive me crazy. I just, I can’t help but wonder...I need to know whether or not you think the same things.”

I stared up at him. “Oh, Sean,” I murmured, resting my hand along his stubble-covered cheek. To be honest, I hadn’t thought a ton about what would happen between us when I went back to school. I did know we needed to figure out a way to tell my dad, but that was a whole dilemma in itself. I sighed heavily, “Truthfully, I haven’t really thought a lot about it. I guess I’ve been more focused on just being with you and not worrying about the future.” My heart broke a little as I saw his face fall. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not important to me,” I was quick to add. “I hate hiding this from everyone, and I dread every minute I’m not spending with you.”

Sean hung and shook his head, “I just...I don’t know.” After a long minute he raised his head, his eyes meeting mine again. “The thing is, I do...I do want kids. I don’t want to just date anymore. I want to have a family eventually. I want something that has a future, I want something...real.”

My eyes grew wide as it dawned on me just what he was saying. My mouth hung open, unable to find words to reply.

“Look, I told you, I know it’s crazy. I’m not expecting anything, I don’t need any kind of answer. I just want to know if...if that’s something you want, too. Just think about it, okay?”

I nodded silently, still not able to find my voice. I jumped slightly at the sound of the stove beeping, alerting us that the oven was hot enough for the pizza. I smiled shyly up at Sean, squeezed his hands in mine then released them, moving to put the pizza in, and set the timer. Once I had closed the oven door, I leaned against the counter, not unlike Sean had been standing earlier.

“Sean, I just don’t know what to say. I mean, this is kind of huge.”

He nodded, “I know it is. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to freak you out. I just...I want you to know where I’m coming from, what I’m looking for." His features were full of anxiety and something that looked a lot like remorse. He came over to me and kissed my forehead, "Look, let's not worry about it right now. Let's just enjoy tonight and have some fun, okay?"

Yeah, because I can just forget a conversation like that. I put on a brave smile and replied, "Okay."

We moved into the living room and flipped through the channels on TV looking for something worth watching while we waited for the pizza to finish. We sat together on the couch, his arm draped across my shoulders, but there was definite tension between us. I kept feeling his gaze fall on me, but fought the urge to turn and face him, afraid of what I'd find in his expression. My mind was racing, processing what Sean had just told me.

Where did I see our relationship going? I loved Sean, that was certain. I'd had crushes before, crushes that never went anywhere, and the feelings I had for Sean were very different, far more evolved than just a crush. The thing is, besides high school crushes, I didn't really have anything to compare this to. Did that matter? I thought of how I felt when I'm with him, how he takes care of me; how we can just talk and talk for hours and never run out of things to say, but then we can just sit together and not need to say a word. I knew I was head over heels in love with Sean, and that he loved me in return. Was that enough?

I felt his eyes land on me again and turned to meet his gaze. Our eyes locked on each other and I knew we were thinking the same thing - neither of us could just let the conversation go. He was silently waiting for my answer. Could I see us in the long term? Seeing the uneasiness in his eyes made my heart melt for him. I imagined what it would be like to spend every night in his arms, to wake up next to him every morning, to take care of each other. I didn't want anyone else; somehow I knew no one would ever make me feel the way Sean did.

I gave him a small smile and reached up to kiss him, giving him my silent answer. His hand came up to cup my face, his arm tightening around me, pulling me closer to his body, deepening our kiss. I climbed up onto my knees and swung one leg over him, straddling him as I'd done earlier. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately, unhurriedly. His hands stayed planted on my hips, holding me to him.

We kissed until we were breathless, breaking apart from each other and gasping for air. I breathed against him, "I love you, Sean. I love you so much," before pressing my lips firmly against his. Our tongues met again in a delicate dance and he moaned into my mouth. His fingers sneaked under my shirt, sending shivers up and down my spine.

Before we could get any further, the timer sounded indicating the pizza was done. I groaned against him and peeled myself away from him, stumbling slightly as I walked into the kitchen. I pulled open the oven door and took out our dinner, replacing the pizza stone with the cookie sheet loaded with snacks for later. I cut the pizza, serving each of us a couple pieces, and brought the plates into the living room.

“I’m thinking I like how comfortable you are in my kitchen,” Sean grinned at me as he took his plate.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m not making you any sandwiches any time soon,” I joked back at him. “What do you want to drink?”

He shrugged, taking his plate of pizza, “Whatever’s in the fridge. I’m not picky.”

I returned to the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge, grabbing two bottles of beer. When I came back to him on the couch, he cocked an eyebrow at me as he accepted his drink. “What?” I asked. “Just wanted to ring in the new year right.”

“Watch it, girlie,” he admonished me half-heartedly as I sat on the couch next to him. I tucked my feet up under me and started eating. Little by little, the tension between us relaxed.

We spent the night watching stupid movies, talking through most of them, quoting along with our favorite lines. I found my place beside him again, snuggled into his side; his hand would idly run through my hair or trail down my arm, tracing small circles on my waist while his palm warmed my hip. We would kiss every now and again, but it never led to anything more than just kissing.

It was just before midnight, so we turned off the movie we were watching and tuned in to the ball drop. Sean grabbed the bottle of champagne from the fridge. As the countdown reached the last thirty seconds, he popped the cork and filled our glasses with the bubbly liquid. He set the bottle on the coffee table and held my hand as we counted down the last ten seconds together. As the crowd on TV erupted into shouts of celebration, we turned and faced each other.

“Happy New Year, Morgan,” he murmured, raising his glass in the air.

“Happy New Year, Sean,” I whispered back and clinked our glasses together. He bent his head to kiss me. This was different than all the times earlier this evening; his kiss held more urgency, more insistence, than before. He pulled himself away and I almost fell over into him. I watched as Sean brought his glass to his lips, his eyes never leaving mine. I followed suit, both of us finishing our drink in one pull. He took both of our glasses and set them on the coffee table.

Sean turned back to face me and instantly combed his fingers through my hair, crushing a kiss to my lips. I ran my hands up his chest, feeling his well-defined pectorals, up over his shoulders, threading my fingers through his shaggy hair. Our mouths moved together beautifully; he tasted delicious, partly from the champagne and partly just Sean...mostly just Sean. His hands drifted down my back, grabbing tightly onto my hips and pulling me intimately close to him, our hips coming together almost magnetically. I could feel his very obvious arousal grinding against me, causing a wonderful pull deep in my belly. I sighed as his lips left mine in search of my neck, kissing, licking, gently biting; his hands travelled lower and grabbed my ass. “Sean,” I breathed, a prayer, a plea.

He pulled his head up and our eyes met; his full of fire, full of passion. If I didn’t want him so badly, I might have felt intimidated, might have looked away, but I met him step for step, not backing down. He moved against me, walking me backwards, into the kitchen and toward the hallway leading back to his bedroom. We kissed the entire way back, giggling as we ran into the walls as we veered off course, lost in our embrace. Finally he turned me toward his room, across to his bed.

He paused momentarily to pull the comforter back then returned his hands to my waist, pulling gently at the bottom of my shirt. I raised my arms over my head, letting him pull my shirt over my head; his hands skimmed over every inch of me, teasing along my spine, my waist, my stomach. His fingertips dragged along my ribcage, meeting behind me, expertly undoing the clasp of my bra, then dragging the straps down my shoulders. His lips explored all over my skin, caressing my shoulder, my collarbone, down the space between my breasts. His hands covered me, kneaded me, teasing my nipples into sharp peaks between his thumbs and fingers. Wetness began to pool between my legs; my breath was coming in short little gasps. I held on to his strong arms for dear life.

I needed to feel him against me; I reached for the bottom of his sweater and tugged upwards until his took over and all but tore it off over his head. Our bodies met instantly, my breasts pushing against his beautifully muscled torso as his mouth sought mine again. He pushed me backwards, gently. I caught myself when the back of my knees hit the mattress, then sat down. His arms came around me and lifted me to lay me down on the pillows then joined me, lying on top of me. His weight felt amazing, tantalizing on top of me, settling into the cradle of my pelvis and pressing me into the mattress. He propped himself up on his elbows and he began kissing his way down my body again.

He moved slowly, with precision, not wanting to miss a single inch of my skin. His mouth finally found my breasts, wrapping around each of my nipples in turn, sucking sweetly on them until they were taut between his lips. I sighed as he applied more suction, until the sensation was just this side of painful, and electricity traveled from my breast to the place between my legs. I wanted him so badly, but never wanted this delicious torment to end. He gently bit down on me and my hips bucked against his instinctively. His tongue drew tight circles around the tight peak, alternating between licking, sucking, biting until I was ready to scream.

My fingers wound themselves into his hair, and I pulled gently. “Sean, I swear if you keep this up, I think I’m going to cum.”

He looked up at me with a wicked grin, “That’s the idea, sweetheart.” My eyes widened as he switched to the other side and began the process all over again, though this time, his hand covered the side he had just abandoned, his fingers pinching and twisting as his mouth worked wonders. I moaned throatily at the sensations he was causing; between his mouth, his hands, and his body pressing against mine, it was all becoming too much. I arched my back, pushing my breasts into him, then bucked my hips against his, finding the friction there that I needed between my legs.

My thighs started to shake and my breath caught in my throat. Finally a warm, tingling feeling spread from the top of my head, down my spine, curling into my toes. I groaned loudly, calling out his name, and I felt Sean smiling against me. “Well...there’s one,” he murmured, then trailed his mouth further down my belly, teasing my navel with his tongue.

He dragged his fingers down my sides, eventually finding the waist of my jeans, popping open the button and lowering the zipper. He shifted his weight, kneeling between my legs, and curled his fingers under my jeans, into the elastic of my panties, and began slowly dragging them over my hips. As he revealed each inch of my skin, his lips were there to greet it, placing open mouth kisses lower and lower on my belly. I planted my feet on the bed and pushed my hips off the mattress so he could divest me of the rest of my clothes. He crawled backward, pulling my pants with him, until I was completely naked in front of him.

Anticipation flowed through me, causing me to shiver as I waited for his next move. At last his placed his warm hands on my knees, applying gentle pressure, pushing them wide apart, exposing my womanhood to him. “My god, Morgan. You’re so beautiful,” he whispered reverently before trailing his hands down my thighs. He adjusted himself on the bed so he was lying between my legs. He braced his shoulders against the backs of my thighs, wrapping his arms around my legs, spreading me wide. He kissed and licked along the crease of my thighs, teasing the very sensitive skin there. He pressed soft kisses all over, all the time inching closer to my center.

Just when I thought I couldn’t take his teasing anymore, I felt the tip of his tongue lick along the seam of my lower lips, parting them just slightly. He ran his tongue slowly upward until he reached the spot just above my clit. He dove in again, delving deeper this time, following the same course and pace. His third time I felt him teasing my entrance, his tongue lingering there, tracing up and down my opening. “God, you taste good,” he muttered against me, the vibrations of his husky baritone voice causing a delightful shock to my core.

His tongue slid into me again, lapping at my inner walls, his nose nuzzling against my clit. He dragged the flat of his tongue upward, covering every bit of my sensitive bud. I bucked my hips upward, trying to maintain contact as he swirled the tip of his tongue around me, tracing enticing patterns against me. I ground my pelvis against him, and he tightened his grip around my thighs, holding me in place as he continued his assault. Unable to move the lower half of my body, I reached down and grabbed his hair, trying to anchor him to where I needed him the most.

He flicked his tongue up and down as he released one of my legs, trailing his fingers on my skin as he traced his way to my center, sliding a finger deep inside me. I groaned loudly at the feeling of him pushing in and out of me. He added a second finger and continued shoving them inside me, moving them all around, curling into me to caress that special spot that was sure to send me over the edge. He massaged against my inner walls as he attached his lips around my clit, sucking lightly at first, then increasing pressure and grazing his teeth along the sensitive flesh, then sucking, then biting. If I had pulled any harder on his hair, he would have two bald spots on the top of his head, but I couldn’t stop. It was all I could do to scream over and over, “Oh my god! Sean!” as he refused to ease up on my delicate flesh, holding me down as a willing hostage to his mouth and fingers.

I could feel my pussy clench around his fingers over and over, wave after wave of intense pleasure crashing over me; my screams of release left my throat feeling hoarse and my lungs empty of any air. My body shook all over as my orgasm continued to rip through me. Any time I could actually catch my breath, another moan of pure bliss was torn from my lungs, and Sean still would not release me. I wasn’t sure if this was one long orgasm or several quick ones; either way, I had lost all control of any muscles, leaving me completely unable to move even if I wanted to.

Sean withdrew his fingers and licked the juices from my dripping pussy, then sucked his fingers into his mouth, cleaning them off. He kissed the outer lips of my womanhood, then just over my clit, slowly working his way up my belly, across my breasts, finally reaching my mouth where he slid his tongue for a long, passionate kiss. “That’s gotta be two, maybe even three. You okay?” I wasn’t sure I was capable of speech yet, so I nodded and smiled weakly, eyes drooping shut, my muscles still only holding the strength of melting Jell-o. “Think you can cum again for me?” he asked with another wicked grin.

My eyes snapped wide open and I watched him lean over to the night stand and grab a condom. He made quick work of unwrapping then unrolling it onto his cock. He positioned himself perfectly between my legs, waiting at my entrance as he let his weight rest on top of me. He kissed me again as he slid into me. Even after the powerful orgasm I just experienced, my body was ready for him immediately, suddenly reenergized and welcoming his complete possession of me. I marveled at how perfectly we fit together.

He reached down and pulled my legs wider, giving him complete access to my pussy, burying himself inside me all the way to the hilt. My muscles were still quivering from my last orgasm, making Sean feel absolutely huge inside me, as if he were stretching me, splitting me in two, and I loved every second of it. It was like he was claiming me as his all over again, and there was something undeniably sexy about the whole thing.

He hitched my legs up over his hips, wrapping my calves around him, then returned his full weight on top of me, sliding his arms underneath me, holding me tight against him. There wasn’t an inch of our bodies that wasn’t touching once my arms came around him, hugging him to me, my nails running up and down his back as he slowly, deliberately, drove into me.

Sean kept an incredibly slow pace, kissing me all over my neck, my cheeks, along my jaw; he was taking his time with me, making sweet, gentle, unhurried love to me. I heard him softly grunting and moaning in my ear, sending chills all over my body as I heard him whisper, “Mmm...Morgan...you feel so good...God...so hot and so tight...so perfect wrapped around me.”

My voice was still soft, still recovering from my screams, “Sean...you feel...incredible...oh my god...oh, right there...please...”

“You like that, baby?” he whispered seductively as he suddenly thrust hard into me, hitting my sweet spot head on. I groaned in satisfaction and he pushed into me again, just as hard, then easing off. “I love taking my time with you, baby. I love that you’re all mine.”

“Yes, Sean...I’m yours...please...please...” I begged for him, pleaded, needing him to give me my final release which was starting to build, slowly burning me from the inside out.

He shifted his hips, his pubic bone rubbing against my clit as he took me from a slightly different angle. The pressure inside me continued to build, threatening to erupt again. Every move he made created a whirlwind of sensations inside me; he bent his neck and licked at my nipple, sucking it into his mouth harshly, causing me to gasp sharply and release a loud moan. “Oh, Sean...please...”

He began moving infinitesimally faster, with more insistence, driving into me harder. “Oh, Morgan...come on, baby...cum for me...I want to feel you cum around me.” His words echoed in my ears, and I gave myself over to every sensation swirling around and inside me. I let his perfect body make me irrevocably his as he increased his tempo, thrusting deep inside me, deeper than I remember him ever going before.

I clung tight to his back as my orgasm exploded from within me, not caring if I was leaving marks, if I was drawing blood, if he would be deaf from my screaming in his ear. “Oh my god, Sean...oh...yes!” My pussy clenched tightly around him, but it didn’t slow him down or relax his thrusts, drawing my climax out, making it last and last.

“Oh, Morgan,” he murmured in my ear. “Marry me,” he whispered as he thrust one final time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summer of Learning – Chapter 10**

My body stilled, frozen in place. My eyes snapped open, wide with disbelief, locking on his beautiful green ones. “S...Sean...” I stammered, “wh...what did you say?”

Sean whispered against me, “Marry me, Morgan.” He kissed me tenderly and tightened his arms around me, still buried deep inside me. “I love you so much. I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you. Marry me.”

I could only blink back at him, shocked into silence. Finally I found my voice, but everything I tried to say only came out as partial sentences, my brain all but fried, due to the combination of Sean’s sudden marriage proposal and the four mind-blowing orgasms Sean had just given me. “Sean...I...are you...Sean we...we just...”

“Just what?” he finally stopped me. He rolled off of me to lie next to me. He reached under the covers and a moment later deposited the used condom in the waste basket near the bed. Sean carefully, gently, slid his arms around me, as if he was afraid that moving too quickly would cause me to bolt. When I was finally settled in his embrace, he kissed my temple and continued, speaking softly.

“We just what? Started going out? Morgan, we’ve known each other literally all your life. There is very little we don’t already know about each other, and anything we don’t know, we’ll learn together.”

He had a point. “Yes, but Sean...there’s just...so much to think about.”

“I know that, sweetheart,” Sean whispered, kissing the top of my head. “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do.”

“And you know I love you?”

“Yes, I know that, but...”

“Morgan, I’m not asking you to marry me tomorrow, but one day. That’s all.” He traced the side of my face with the backs of his fingers. His eyes were glistening in the soft light as he searched my face for a hint of an answer.

My mind was reeling, the proverbial wheels spinning as I tried to come up with an answer for him. A sudden wave of fatigue washed over me. I vaguely remembered the last time I had spent the night in his bed. Sean-induced orgasms when mixed with his beyond comfortable bed were a dangerous combination, apparently. I gazed up at him, “You have the absolute worst timing, you know.”

He frowned down at me, concern crossing his features. An unbidden yawn escaped me. His frown turned to a grin. “Did I wear you out?”

I finished my yawn and snuggled in closer to him, “That’s putting it mildly. I think it’s incredibly unfair of you to ask me to make a decision this huge after...all that.”

Sean gave an over-exaggerated sigh, “Alright. You sleep. I’ll be right back.” He scooted out from under the covers, slipped on his underwear and padded barefoot down the hall. A brief thought of “Where is he going?” flitted through my mind before sleep overtook me.

****************

I woke the next morning feeling refreshed and relaxed and incredibly safe as I felt Sean’s strong arms wrapped around me. His front was pressed against my back, enveloping me in his protection, his warmth, his love. I turned in his arms, incrementally so as not to wake him, until I was looking at him, taking him in. He was beyond handsome when he was awake; he was positively adorable asleep. Any tension he carried in his face melted away with his dreams; he looked so innocent.

Ah, but I knew better.

His blonde hair had fallen in front of his eyes, hiding the side of his face from me. It took all my willpower not to rake his hair back with my fingers. Instead, my eyes examined his sleeping form; his sculpted arms still wrapped around me, his firm muscular chest covered with a light layer of crisp, curly hair. My gaze ventured further down as I fought the urge to reach out and touch him, to run my fingers over his taut stomach, to tease my fingertips through the darker arrow of hair leading to his pelvis. I peeked further under the covers and found that delicious “V” that outlined his lower abdomen, pointing directly to his crotch.

Temptation was winning out over my self-control. I noticed in the dim morning light drifting under the comforter that Sean was definitely experiencing some...morning stiffness. I giggled to myself; my willpower depleted, I slowly moved my hand and placed it between my legs. (I didn’t want the shock of a cold hand to startle him out of his sleep.) Once I was satisfied that my hand was warm enough, I pulled the comforter back up to cover him completely.

I was suddenly grateful for Sean’s ultra-comfortable tempur-pedic mattress. I could move all I wanted and he wouldn’t be shaken awake. Still, erring on the side of caution, I slowly crept below the covers, clothing myself in the darkness of the thick blanket, blindly finding my way to the waistband of his underwear. Oh-so-carefully, I pulled the elastic away from his body and held it in my left hand part way down his thighs, releasing his impressive length. Feeling very naughty, I reached with my right hand and gently wrapped my fingers around him. He was warm, hard, like velvet on steel.

I stopped my plan of action momentarily and listened for any sign that he was waking up. This just wouldn’t be as much fun if he was already awake. Satisfied by the sounds of his gentle, uninterrupted snoring and his lack of any movement, I brought my mouth toward my hand. I ran the tip of my tongue around the head of his cock and felt him gently stir next to me, but then settle back down again. I repeated the motion, this time taking his head into my mouth and sliding my lips off him, closing them to kiss the very tip. Sean moaned above me in his sleep but still hadn’t moved. Feeling bold, I took more of him into my mouth, letting my saliva coat his shaft, helping my lips to slide smoothly down his length.

Sean was definitely waking up now, his moans growing louder, more insistent. He barely moved, only bucking his hips upward once or twice as my mouth and hand moved in tandem, pumping and sucking and teasing him into a frenzy. His sexy morning voice spurred me on, “Oh...shit...yes...mmm, yeah baby...just like that.”

I kept bobbing my head up and down, feeling his balls start to twitch against my hand. An errant thought entered my mind, making a mental note that the next time I did this for him, I would definitely want to explore that particular area further. For now, I focused on the task at hand, so to speak, wanting to bring Sean pleasure as he had done to me so many times last night.

Sean released a loud groan as he exploded in my mouth. I drank greedily everything he offered me and began cleaning him off with my tongue. Little by little, he began to soften in my hand, twitching now and again as I placed kisses along his skin.

I kissed my way back up his torso, straddling him, inching my way out from under the covers until my head peeked out and I greeted him with a sweet kiss on the lips. “Good morning,” I purred.

“It certainly is,” Sean grinned while wrapping his arms around my waist, anchoring me to him. “Not that I’m complaining, but just what brought that on?”

I smiled down at him. There was really no reason other than I wanted to. I hadn’t woken up planning it or anything. Why did the bear climb over the mountain? Because it was there. I couldn’t exactly tell him that, though. “Um...Happy New Year?”

Sean laughed loudly, “Well, that’s certainly starting the year off right.” My hair had fallen down in front of my face. He tucked the loose strands behind my ears and said, “You are amazing,” before bringing me down for a long, heated, luxurious kiss. I melted into him, just for a moment or two, before suddenly pulling back and crawling off of him and out of the bed. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he asked, sounding more confused than angry.

I grinned at him as I found his sweater still laying on the floor and pulled it over my head. I absolutely swam in it, but didn’t care. “Well, first I have to pee, then I thought I’d make some breakfast.” I scampered down the hall, hearing him chuckle in the bedroom behind me. I was elated that my impromptu morning call had gone so well.

****************

I found my way through Sean’s kitchen cabinets easily and realized he had cleaned up the counters and put all the leftover food away. _So that’s where he went last night._ I smiled to myself as I pulled frying pans as quietly as I could from their hiding places and placed them on the stove top. I quickly prepared the French toast, adding cinnamon and vanilla to the mix, just like my mom does. I made a mental note to call mom and dad this morning and wish them a Happy New Year, wondering just how long I could stay here at Sean’s without raising their suspicions.

I started cooking the pieces of French toast, along with several slices of bacon. I found a couple coffee mugs and started up the Keurig machine. Once the bacon was done cooking, I drained most of the grease from the pan and started cooking a batch of scrambled eggs in the remaining drippings. The smell must have made its way through the house because moments later Sean came padding down the hallway, dressed in an old T-shirt and pajama pants and...were those socks with top hats on them? I scooped the eggs into a serving bowl and placed it on the table. “Nice socks,” I commented.

“Thanks,” he chuckled and hoisted his pants legs up, revealing Abraham Lincoln’s face resting on his shins. I laughed at his odd collection of socks and continued setting the table. I pulled my feet up, sitting cross-legged on the chair, pulling the bottom of his sweater over my knees. We both tucked in to our meal. “This is delicious, babe,” he said with his mouth half full.

I grinned at him; he acted like such a big kid sometimes. He leaned over and gave me a syrupy sticky kiss on the side of my neck. “Ugh!” I exclaimed, shrugging away from him playfully and giggling.

When we had finished eating, I moved to clean up the table, but he stopped me. “I got this. You cooked, I’ll clean.” I couldn’t argue with his logic. I unwound my legs from beneath me and moved into the living room. I pulled open the blinds covering the large front window and gasped at what I saw.

The weather man had been right; it had snowed, all night apparently, and was still coming down heavily. There had to have been close to a foot of the white powder covering every surface. I stood watching the peaceful scene for a while taking it all in. I looked at the utility wires and tree branches, weighed down under all the added precipitation. Then I realized there were icicles hanging from every surface. This wasn’t just snow – there had to have been an ice storm sometime last night which tapered off into snow.

Yeah, I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

The realization reminded me that I needed to call home. I rummaged through my purse and grabbed my phone and called mom’s cell. She answered on the third ring; I briefly wondered if I had woken her up. “Hello?”

“Happy New Year!” I exclaimed.

I could hear mom’s smile through the phone, “Happy New Year, honey. Did you have fun last night?” Her tone was guarded, but not angry.

“Yeah. We played games, watched some movies, ate a bunch of junk. Have you seen outside yet?” I changed subjects before she could ask any more about last night’s activities. I hadn’t said anything untrue, but didn’t want to give mom the chance to press for more details.

“No. We’re still in bed.” I heard my father mumble something in the background. “Your father says Happy New Year, too.”

“Hi Dad! Happy New Year,” I said, and waited for mom to relay the message to him. “So, I guess it snowed last night...and iced over pretty bad.”

“Did it?” I heard her moving, imagining her crossing to her bedroom window to look outside. “Oh my gosh! I think you’re right!”

“No one has even tried to drive anywhere on this street. No road crews or anything.”

“They probably won’t get to neighborhoods today at all, since it’s the holiday. They’ll keep the highway clear and that’s about it.”

“That’s what I figured,” I nodded. I knew what this meant and tried to keep the excitement in my voice contained. “I don’t think I’ll be able to get out at all. Looking at my car, I can’t even see the bottom of the car door. It’s pretty deep out there.”

I could hear mom’s facial expression, skepticism mixed with an I-know-what-you’re-up-to look. I could just see her rolling her eyes and pursing her lips. “Well, stay put then. Be careful. Let us know if you want us to come pick you up.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I countered. “I don’t know if I trust my car in this stuff, and I don’t want to leave it here in the driveway. Once road crews come through, I’ll head home, but I’m betting that won’t be until tomorrow at the very earliest...and with all the ice, it could be longer. I just don’t want you guys to worry.”

“Morgan...” my mom’s voice told me she could see right through me, but again, I wasn’t saying anything untrue. She sighed, realizing there was nothing any of us could do. “Just...be careful, okay?”

I was beyond grateful for my mom keeping her promise. “I will be. I swear. Hey, I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, sweetie. Be good. Love you.”

I smiled, “Love you, too. Enjoy your snow day! Bye, mom,” and ended the call.

Sean must have finished with cleaning up while I was on the phone. I was still standing by the window, watching the wintery scene, when I felt him come up from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and nuzzle into the crook of my neck. “Hi,” he murmured. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I leaned back into him, letting my head rest on his shoulder. “Just talked to mom. Have you seen this?” I gestured outside.

He shook his head against me, “Just now. Looks pretty bad out there.”

“Yeah,” I said with a mixture of mock disappointment and innocence. “Looks like I’ll be stuck here all day, maybe all tomorrow, too.”

“Gosh,” he followed suit, “that’s too bad. What are we going to do, trapped in here together for days on end?”

“Oh, I have a couple ideas,” I said, turning in his arms to face him, sliding my arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. His hands traveled down my back to cup my ass, hoisting me up to wrap my legs around his waist. He carried me back to his bedroom and deposited me on his still unmade bed.

I lay back on the soft bed and he stretched himself out on top of me, my legs parting automatically, welcoming him into the cradle of my pelvis. His sweater had ridden up on me and was now just barely covering my hips. The fabric of his pajama pants created a delicious friction against my naked sex. His hand reached down, gripping my thigh and sliding slowly upward, over my hip, my waist, my stomach, until my breast was exposed. Sean lowered his head and suckled on my nipple, pulling on it with his lips until it was a stiff bud in his mouth. I moaned beneath him and ran my fingers through his hair, holding him against me. I gasped when I felt his teeth bite down on me, then soothed me with his tongue. He knelt back on his feet and hovered over me, pulling his sweater off my body.

“Well, this is entirely unfair,” I complained. “Here I am naked and you fully clothed. Not fair at all.”

Sean cocked an eyebrow at me, “So what are you going to do about it?”

I narrowed my gaze at him, my scowl melting away into a smirk. I crawled up onto my knees, facing him, and pulled his shirt over his head. Unable to resist, I ran my lips over his chest, placing kisses along his collarbone and sternum then grazed my teeth over his nipples, mirroring what he had just done to me. My hands found the waistband of his pants, and I quickly learned that he had gone commando. His hard dick sprang free as I lowered his pants. I was about to reach out and wrap my fingers around him when he grabbed me and flipped us over onto the bed, him on his back with me sprawled on top of him. I righted myself, straddling him. Oh, he looked wonderful from this angle.

“Hi,” he murmured, running his hands up and down my sides.

“Hi,” I breathed, suddenly a little nervous. I had never been on top before; would I know what to do, how to move?

Sean seemed to pick up on my uneasiness and pulled me down for a kiss, running his hands along my back. “You look so beautiful,” he whispered against my lips, “sitting on top of me. You ready?” I nodded, not able to find my voice. He grinned reassuringly at me and looked over to the side. “Condom. In the drawer of the night stand.” I leaned and reached over, feeling his hardness press against my center, already wet with desire for him. It seemed I was in a constant state of arousal around this beautiful man. I found the little cardboard box and grabbed a foil packet then returned to sitting astride him and handed it to him. “No, sweetheart. You do it.”

I looked at him timidly. “I…I don’t know how.” Geez, I felt so stupid.

He pulled me down for another kiss, washing my nerves away with his lips and his tongue. “It’s not hard, hon. Open ‘er up, pinch the tip, and roll it all the way down.” He released me and guided me back to sitting upright. I wriggled my way down so I was sitting on his thighs, his dick standing proudly in front of me. With shaking fingers, I tore open the wrapper and took out the little latex circle. It felt almost slimy between my fingertips. I held the circle against the head of his cock and pinched the tip of the condom as he’d said to do. He twitched a little as I started to roll it down over him and glanced up to see him watching me intently. “Damn you look sexy doing that.” Once I had finished, he held his hand out to me and pulled me back up for another long, languid kiss.

“You okay?” he asked, and I nodded my reply. He reached between us and held his dick upright, aligning himself with my entrance. “Whenever you’re ready, Morgan. You’re in control. Do what feels good.”

I took a breath and lowered myself onto him. I moved slowly, relishing the feeling of him filling me, stretching me, completing me. He felt glorious inside me; I shifted further down, until he was buried inside me and I was resting solidly against his pelvis. Bracing my hands on his firm chest, I pushed myself up and slid back down, testing out a rhythm. I moved, again and again, finding a blissful tempo, luxuriating in the feeling of him. His hands had been resting on my hips but now came up to cup my breasts, kneading them, teasing my nipples between his fingers and thumbs. I moaned, long and low, as I moved on top of him.

I lowered myself onto him, kissing him as I continued rocking back and forth against his body, my already sensitive nipples brushing against his chest hair. He gently grabbed my breasts and brought them to his mouth, sucking hard, eliciting a sharp gasp from me. As he increased the pressure, my pussy clenched around him, both of us groaning in pleasure against each other. “Oh my god, Sean…you feel so good,” I moaned in his ear.

“You too, baby…so tight. God, you’re so sexy.” He planted his feet flat on the bed and thrust himself into me, driving deeper inside me, forcing a rough “OH!” to explode from deep within me. “You like that?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me, holding me in place. I nodded, resting against his chest; he thrust into me again, pounding into me from below. The feeling was exquisite, it was all I could do to hold on and let him take me to this new height of pleasure.

“Oh, Morgan…” he moaned loudly, and his thrusts became slower but more forceful as he emptied himself, finding his release. His hands cupped my face as kissed me passionately, slowly sliding out of me, leaving me feeling empty. “Baby…did you?”

I shook my head no and was about to tell him that it was alright, that it had felt amazing even if I didn’t finish, but he was having none of it, turning me and pressing me into the soft mattress. He held me tightly with one arm, partially covering me with his body as he ran kisses along my skin, running his free hand up and down my body until his skillful fingers cupped my pussy. He deftly slid two fingers inside me, instantly searching for that elusive spot that was sure to have me quivering around him.

He wrapped one of his legs around mine, the one nearest him, forcing me to keep my legs spread open for him. His fingers plunged into me, his thumb rubbing tight circles around my clit. In no time I was bucking my hips against his hand, crying out as the pressure built up in the pit of my belly. He nuzzled into my neck, licking and biting the sensitive flesh there, working up to my ear. He bit down on my ear lobe and murmured wickedly, “You like that, baby? Like me fingering your tight little pussy? Come on, baby, cum for me. I want you to cum so hard. Let go, Morgan. Look at me, baby. I want to see you when you cum.” His voice sent chills up and down my spine and I finally cried out, my eyes locked on his, electricity shooting through me, my whole body tightening and relaxing all at once. There was something so intense about looking at him as I exploded around him. My climax seemed to go on and on; my throat was growing hoarse as my screams of pleasure echoed around the room.

I couldn’t take any more and I begged him, “Sean…please…stop…” He left his fingers deep inside me but mercifully released my clit from under his thumb. He held his hand still until the last waves of my orgasm rolled through me, then slowly withdrew from me and brought his fingers up to his mouth, licking my juices off of them. As I caught my breath, all I could do was whisper, “Oh my God…oh my god…” repeatedly. I could feel the pull of sleep creeping over me, my eyes fluttered shut as endorphins flooded my system.

“You okay?” he asked with a grin.

“Better than okay. Jesus, that was intense,” I replied, my voice still a rough whisper. “Thank you,” I looked at him briefly, drowsily, before closing my eyes again.

Sean laughed softly, “My pleasure.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure that was mine,” I returned, peeking at him through one sleepy eye.

“So,” he began, his face full of mischief, “do you have an answer for me yet?”

I dragged my hand up to try and slap him on the shoulder, but my muscles still only had the strength of jelly, and he laughed at my feeble attempt. “Very funny,” I replied sardonically.

“Just asking,” he said soothingly. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.” I yawned heavily, and he chuckled, “Looks like you are, though.” He wrapped the blankets tightly around us and rested his head on my shoulder. We drifted off to sleep in post-coital bliss; I could just hear the sound of ice hitting the window panes and had a rush of happiness at the thought of spending the next couple days with this man I loved so much.

****************

I woke up before Sean did with the urgent need to use the restroom. I snuck out from beneath him and tiptoed naked down the hall. After cleaning up I went on to the kitchen, checking the clock and seeing it was much earlier than I thought it would be. As much as I wanted to crawl back into bed with Sean, I needed some time away from him and his cozy bed to think about his proposal. I walked out to the living room and grabbed a blanket that was draped over the back of the couch and pulled it around my shoulders. I sat in the arm chair in front of the large window, watching the large flakes of snow swirl gracefully in the air, losing myself in thought.

I loved Sean. Of course I did. And I knew he loved me, that much was obvious. He took such good care of me, always wanted to make sure I was happy. The sex between us was great, amazing, perfect, but it wasn’t just about the sex. I could just be me around him, no holding back, and he acted the same way. There were no walls between us, nothing holding us back from each other, only the walls we hid behind from other people.

Our age difference would always be a thing, I knew that going in. He was literally old enough to be my father. It didn’t bother me since I knew him so well, but we would always get questioning looks from people. _Who cares what they think?_ It’s always easy to think that, but deep down, I knew those outside opinions would eventually crack through our safe little bubble of happiness. Would I be judged as some kind of gold digger? Would he be called a cradle robber? Did it matter? I knew Sean would say no, that people would talk no matter what, and I felt the same way. I knew our relationship was unconventional, but I really and truly felt our love was beyond convention. A stupid detail like age shouldn’t matter, right?

I thought of us in the future. I’d be thirty and he’d be fifty. Wow, that was a big gap. Sean had said he wanted a family. Did he mean kids? I wanted kids, too, at least a couple. I got a tiny thrill of excitement thinking about having Sean's baby...babies. How would that work with him being...older? If we did get married right after I graduated college, and started a family right away, he’d be...forty-two? Geez, that means he’d be sixty when the kid graduated college. And it would only be worse for any kids after that. Well, if he was okay with it...

Then there was the whole issue of my parents. My mom had reluctantly accepted our relationship, but I knew she still wasn’t happy about it. At least not yet. I had the feeling that if she really disapproved she would do something to try and keep us apart, namely tell my father, whom I couldn’t imagine taking the news lightly. There was, I suppose, a slim chance that my dad would get over it, that he might be happy that I was happy, that Sean was happy. It would all be in the presentation, right?

Who was I kidding?

It all came back to what did others think of me. Could I handle it if my parents didn’t approve? Would I be able to leave my family to stay with Sean? Would I be able to leave Sean to stay with my family? Could I see Sean and me starting our own family?

Why does this have to be so hard?

_The course of true love never did run smooth._

_Oh, shut up, Shakespeare. Who let you in?_

I let out a heavy sigh and readjusted the blanket around my shoulders. My mind drifted off, thinking about the future. I’d definitely want to finish school before I got married. I thought about what Sean said last night. In just a few weeks I’d be going back and we’d be five hours apart. What was I going to do? What were we going to do?

Oh come on, people had long distance relationships all the time. If they can do it, we can do it.

Still, I was half way through my freshman year. Could we keep this up for another three and a half years?

Maybe if I took summer classes...

I guess I could transfer. I really liked my school, all my professors. I don’t want to have to give up my dream for...the man of my dreams.

This was crazy. Completely and certifiably insane. He was literally old enough to be my father, and not in the “well, if he was a teenager when she was born” kind of scenario. Still, like he said, I’d known him all my life. He’s been wonderful to me and my family. There’s a part of me that’s always loved him, though not romantically, but as family, a friend. A wonderful friend. Now that we were together, that part had expanded to let him into my heart as so much more than just a friend. He’d become everything to me. I loved him with all my heart.

Was that enough?

Sean was my first everything. It felt like we were made to fit each other perfectly in every way. The thing is, he was my first everything. I had nothing to compare these feelings to.Was I ready to forgo dating anyone else before marrying Sean? Not that I was settling for him. No, that could never be even close to true. I was lucky to have Sean. Still...was I ready to take this big of a leap with the first man I'd ever kissed...or had sex with...the first man I'd ever really fallen in love with?

I walked back through the kitchen. Geez, I’d been staring out of the window way longer than I thought. I was surprised that Sean was still in bed, that he hadn’t come looking for me. I made my way down the hall, stopping in the doorway to his bedroom, taking my time just looking at him. He looked so peaceful as he slept. I could just look at him all day.

Then and there I knew my answer. Now I just had to tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I’m evil. It took forever to get this chapter up (I’m really sorry about that). Then I get your hopes up with a super long chapter and then WHAMM-O! Cliffhanger.
> 
> I gotta have something for the next chapter, right?
> 
> Any guesses on what she says?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, following, reviewing. I love you all dearly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summer of Learning – Chapter 11**

I fought the increasingly strong temptation to crawl back into the bed with Sean and instead got dressed, in my own clothes this time. Even with my moving around the bedroom, not trying to be loud, but not exactly tip-toeing either, Sean kept on snoozing away. I decided to let him sleep and went out to his living room and clicked on the TV.

Sean’s cable was out, probably because of all the ice and snow covering every surface so thickly outside. I went to his massive library of movies, not at all surprised that they were mostly comedies and action flicks with the occasional drama thrown in. I picked a comedy, put it in the player and got comfortable under the heavy blanket draped over the couch.

I don’t know if I had the volume up too loud or if he had finally just woken up, but not a half hour into the movie, Sean padded into the living room, dressed in just jeans and a t-shirt. He leaned over me and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. “Mind if I join you?” he asked with a grin.

“Not at all,” I replied, lifting up part of the blanket and curling up my legs, creating a space for him beside me. He promptly sat down and pulled my legs across his lap and scooted closer, practically pulling me into his lap. He buried his face in my hair, kissing my temple, and settled in to watch the movie.

It’s fun watching movies with Sean. Every time I looked up at him, he was mouthing the dialogue along with the characters (although we were watching _Airplane!_ , and it’s hard not to quote along with that movie). We started taking turns, taking over for the characters on the screen.

When the movie ended, Sean grabbed the remote and turned off the system. He tightened his arms around me; I turned to give him a quick kiss and rested my head against his strong chest. “We kinda skipped lunch. Are ya getting hungry?” Sean asked.

I nodded against him, watching the snow still falling heavily outside. “I’m getting there.” I sat up straighter. “I’m gonna go see what all you have. I found some pork chops in your freezer earlier and set them out, I hope you don’t mind. It’s kind of a tradition at home to have a nice dinner on New Year’s, and I wanna cook for you.”

“Well, you are just making yourself right at home here, aren’t you?” he grinned. “I kinda like that,” he murmured as he nuzzled into my neck.

I gave him a wicked grin. “Don’t get too excited. I just don’t like doing dishes.”

He laughed and swatted my behind. “Snot,” he said in a falsely annoyed voice.

I crawled off his lap and stood in front of him, fists planted firmly on my hips. “Is that any way to treat the person who just offered to cook you dinner?”

“Oh, I’ll show you how I want to treat you.” He chased me into the kitchen. I let out a squeal as we both slid in our socks on his tiled floor. We ran around the small kitchen table before I backed myself into the corner of his counter, grabbing the spatula from the dish drainer as a makeshift weapon. My heart was pounding as he stalked toward me in an almost predatory approach. I started giggling uncontrollably as he came nearer, for some reason nervous about what he was planning on doing. I cringed and shrank in on myself, holding the spatula in front of me, still laughing like a madwoman when he finally made his move and reached out to grab me. All at once his arms were wrapped around me, pulling me into him; his mouth immediately claimed mine in a wet, searching kiss.

I let myself get lost in his embrace, relishing the feeling of his body pressing against mine, his strong arms surrounding me. I could go on kissing him forever and never get tired and never get bored. The problem was, with the way he had my arms pinned across my chest, the spatula sitting uselessly between us in my hand, I was getting uncomfortable, not to mention the fact that if we were going to eat dinner at all tonight, I had to put a stop to this and start preparing the food. I tried pushing at Sean’s shoulders, gently at first, then a little more forcefully. I wasn’t getting very far in making progress, but I felt Sean’s smile against my lips and knew he was keeping his grip tight around me on purpose.

“Sean,” I muttered through the sides of my mouth. I giggled and pushed on him again. “Sean!” I said more insistently. He only pressed his lips harder against mine and slid his tongue into my mouth. _Oh, you think that’s going to stop me?_ I thought. I sealed my lips around his tongue and applied suction, catching him off guard. He jerked his head back in surprise and I finally had a chance to catch my breath and talk. “Baby, you know I love you and you know I love kissing you, but I really need to start figuring out dinner. It’s not like we can just order out.”

Sean stepped back and pouted. _How does he manage to look sexy even like that?_ “Well...” he began, “we could...”

I cocked an eyebrow up at him. “Really? You think anything’s even open today? It’s New Year’s! And in this weather?” I gasped in mock disgust and horror and whispered with false disdain, “You would make some poor delivery guy drive around in this?” I gestured dramatically outside. “Especially when you have someone offering to cook a homemade dinner for you? I’m appalled.” I could barely contain the smile threatening to surface.

Sean sighed heavily then stepped forward, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Yes, dear,” he said with a smirk, then kissed my forehead before turning and sitting at the kitchen table.

I looked at him questioningly. “What are you doing?” trying to hide the effects of my heart fluttering against my ribs.

“What?” he asked innocently. “I can’t watch the master at work?”

I threw my head back in laughter. “Oh, please. It’s just pork chops.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “but based on breakfast today, I bet they’ll be fantastic.” I felt my cheeks and ears redden at the compliment.

I made a quick search of Sean’s cabinets, thankful that he was kind of a health nut and had lots of things on hand. Apparently he cooked for himself a lot, but didn’t have a ton of recipes to choose from, as there wasn’t a ton of variety among his cans of veggies or any other kind of sides. I did manage to find some potatoes under the sink and set to peeling them and putting them in a pot of water to boil. I whipped up a quick marinade for the chops and placed them in a dish to bake. I grabbed a can of green beans and dumped them into a pan.

As I watched the vegetables fall into the saucepan, an idea came into my head. Just like in the movies, I could spell out my answer to Sean’s proposal, serve it up on his plate and voila! Then I frowned at myself and shook my head. God, how cheesy was that? No, I couldn’t actually go through with it, could I? I could find a better way to tell him than that.

I sat with Sean at the table in the chair beside his. He leaned over and took my hand, holding it in both of his. He looked like he had something to say, but didn’t want to say it. “Come on, let’s have it,” I tried coaxing it out of him. He looked up at me, surprise written all over his face. “Sean, if you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

He started bouncing his knee, a sure sign that he was nervous. He had that look again, that look that said he was thinking something through. I suddenly got a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Was he going to take back the proposal? Had he been going over all the hurdles we would face like I had earlier? Did he decide he didn’t want me anymore? I decided to bite the bullet and try again to find out what was wrong.

I squeezed one of his hands, “Hey,” my voice softened, “what’s going on?” He looked up at me almost guiltily but still didn’t answer. “Sean,” I said a little more firmly, “I can tell something’s bugging you.” I could feel my pulse quickening, my hand growing sweaty in between his. I swallowed and continued, “Please, baby, tell me what’s wrong.”

I waited while he finished working through his thoughts and took a deep breath, only to release it right away. Finally he spoke, “Just...thinking.”

“I figured that much, thanks,” I said with a grin.

His lips curled up in a tiny smile, a soft chuckle following immediately after. He sighed, “I don’t know what to do.”

“About what?” I questioned with a slight frown.

“About your dad,” he said stoically.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he cast his eyes back down toward the table. “He’s my best friend in the whole world, Morgan. I want to tell him about us...I need to...but I have the sneaking suspicion that he’s going to outright kill me when I do.”

“When _we_ do,” I corrected him. “And I don’t think he’ll kill you. Maybe he’ll take it as well as mom did,” I suggested, only to be met with his very doubtful look. “Okay, probably not,” I conceded, “but however he reacts, we deal with it together.” I squeezed his hand again for good measure and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you. I wouldn’t ever ask you to do that alone.”

He nodded solemnly, “I know, sweetheart. I love you. Just wish I knew the best way to tell him.” He snorted out a laugh, “Maybe if I got him drunk, then I’d...we’d tell him, technically, but he may not remember.”

“That’s true. Dad gets pretty loopy when he’s drunk. Didn’t he lock himself in a bathroom once and needed you to rescue him?”

Sean’s shoulders finally started to fall as he relaxed a little, laughing at the memory. Convinced he wasn’t so deep in his self-inflicted funk, I stood up to check on how dinner was progressing. I busied myself basting the pork chops and preparing the potatoes. I asked Sean if he’d set the table while I finished up. He obliged, adding wine glasses to the table, even going so far as to pull out two candlesticks and lit them; apparently remembering that I’d wanted this to be a nice dinner for the two of us. He walked out of the room and moments later I heard soft music coming from the living room. I grinned as I finished up with the food, plating everything and setting the plates on the table as Sean filled our glasses with wine.

“Why, Sean, this is so romantic. I feel like I’m underdressed,” I said, not sure where the blush on my cheeks was coming from.

He shook his head, “You look gorgeous no matter what you wear.” The blush on my cheeks darkened and spread down my neck. _How did he do that?_ He flicked off the kitchen lights, plunging us into near darkness, forcing our eyes to adapt to the dim candlelight. We took our former seats at the table; he looked positively dreamy with his tousled hair, his eyes glistening in the candle light. “This looks delicious,” he said, appraising the meal I had prepared.

“So do you,” I said before I could stop myself. He smiled and let out a soft chuckle before reaching over, placing his hand along my jaw, and bringing us together for a soft kiss that stole my breath away. After everything we’ve done together, this man still managed to have this kind of an effect on me. He sat back upright in his chair, “Come on, let’s eat.”

We both dug in heartily to the meal, neither of us having eaten much all day. We talked as we ate, our conversation lighter than it had been just a few minutes ago. It was so easy to just talk about anything with him. He never talked down to me, always treated me as an adult, as if our age difference was nonexistent. When we’d both finished eating, I stood and cleared our places. “Don’t worry, I’m just piling them in the sink. I promise I won’t touch them after that,” I teased.

When I returned to the table, before I could sit back down in my chair, Sean reached out and took my hand, pulling me to him and arranging me so I was sitting in his lap. “Smart, funny, beautiful, and a damn good cook. A guy could get used to having a girl like you around.”

My heart fluttered at his compliments. “Well...maybe you should.” He looked at me with a confused expression. “Get used to having me around.”

His eyes widened, realization crossing his features. “Morgan,” he whispered, “are you saying...”

“Yes.” I smiled widely, my heart doing cartwheels in my chest. “ I’m saying yes, Sean, yes I’ll marry you.”

“Oh my god,” his voice was little more than a whisper. He threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled me down for a wonderfully passionate kiss. “Oh my god,” he said again and again, each time with more excitement, more happiness; each time causing my heart to swell with love for him, with joy that I had made him this happy. He pulled back, allowing both of us to catch our breath, and breathed, “Morgan, I promise, I’m going to make you so happy. I love you so very much,” before pulling me closer than before and claiming my mouth with his.

After a moment, I pushed myself off him and sat back, reluctantly breaking our kiss. “Sean, wait,” I started, and my heart broke at the fear in his eyes. “Don’t freak out, I just...I have some...terms and conditions.”

“Anything,” he said adamantly.

I grinned. “Okay, first, we have to tell my dad. Soon. What he says doesn’t matter, I’ll marry you regardless, but we have to tell him. Together.”

Sean nodded, “Agreed.”

“I don’t want to transfer colleges. I really like my school and want to stay there. I want to graduate before we get married. We can get married the day after I graduate if you want, but I want school to come first,” I continued. “Maybe one day I’ll think about finding a school down here...I don’t exactly relish the thought of being so far away from you all the time, but this is important to me.”

“Of course.” Wow, this was going better than I thought.

“And last,” I smiled at him, “you have to actually propose.” I giggled at his confused look again. “Sean, you’d just given me at least four orgasms and were still...finishing. It was hot as hell, but not exactly romantic. I mean,” I held up my left hand, “I don’t even have a ring.” I let my hand fall to his shoulder. “I want the whole thing, Sean. Even...” I gulped, “even asking my parents.”

Sean let the words sink in. “I can’t argue with that. Alright,” he agreed. “Your wish is my command.”

“I love you, Sean.”

“I love you, Morgan.”

I smirked, “I know,” and wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned in close. “Now make love to me,” I whispered in his ear.

“Yes, dear.” Sean stood up, holding me close to him, and carried me down the hall to his bedroom, kissing and giggling the entire way. He set me down gently on the floor next to his bed, never stopping kissing me. We couldn’t get our clothes off fast enough, our hands bumping each other as we fought to strip the clothes off each other.

I ran my hands over his warm skin, delighting in the feel of him, his taut muscles, his crisp chest hair, all gloriously male...and all mine. I pulled him down for another kiss and his hands deftly found my lower back, pulling me into him; I could feel his hardness pressing into my stomach. He gracefully lifted me onto the bed, joining me seconds later, hovering over me. His mouth rained down kisses all over my neck, my chest, my stomach, then returned northward, up to my breasts, revering them with his tongue, lips and teeth. I ran my hands through his hair and spread my legs wide as I felt my body start to tingle, a definite wetness growing between my thighs.

I slid one of my hands over his chest, his magnificently tight abs, and finally found his rock hard erection, standing out proudly from his body. I wrapped my fingers around him and slid my hand slowly up and down his shaft. I guided him to my entrance and pushed my hips upward, feeling the head of his dick separate the lips of my pussy.

Sean pulled back and looked down at my warily. “Morgan...” he said, his voice laced with caution. “I need to put on...”

I cut him off. “I don’t care. I want to feel you, all of you.” I bucked my hips again. “Please, Sean. Take me.”

He held my gaze for another minute, working something out in his brain again, and finally, gradually, slid deep into me. A deep moan escaped my lips as his hip bones met mine and he filled me completely.

The two times we had done this without a condom before had been so quick, and kind of rough; I never really got a chance to feel him, to let my body fully appreciate how wonderful he felt inside me, skin against skin. “Oh my god, Sean...you feel so good.”

“You do, too, baby...so hot and wet. Fucking perfect,” he groaned as he slid in and out of me. He continued at an agonizingly slow pace, and I wondered at his self-control. I raised my knees closer to my chest, allowing him to bury himself deeper into me. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my hips met his movements, creating a delicious rhythm between us, the pleasure constantly building.

Sean’s thrusts became more forceful; he lowered his head, licking and sucking at my neck, groaning sensually near my ear. “Cum for me, baby. I wanna feel you cum on my dick.” He thrust again, harder and harder, hitting my G-spot, as he sucked on my ear lobe and held me tightly; his broad chest crushing my breasts against him.

I felt myself quicken around him, my legs tightening their grip, my fingernails digging into his back. My short grunts of pleasure became longer as I moaned my way toward orgasm. I finally cried out as my body shook as the waves of my climax rolled through me.

When I had finished trembling around him, Sean stretched over me and reached for the drawer of his night stand. He had a guilty look on his face and I realized he hadn’t finished yet. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t want to get you pregnant,” he said as he fumbled through the drawer until he found the box of condoms. “Well...not yet anyway.” My pussy automatically clenched around him at the thought. There was a part of me that really wanted to have his baby, but he was right. We weren’t ready...I wasn’t ready...for that just yet.

Sean pulled out of me and slid the condom on, then smacked my left butt cheek. “Turn over,” he said playfully. I gave him a confused smile as I did as he asked, laying on my belly. “Nu-uh, girlie,” he said, grabbing my hips and pulling them toward his body, “Hands and knees.”

 _Oh my god...doggy style?_ I felt myself getting wet all over again at the prospect. There was something so dirty, yet ridiculously hot, about being in this position. I followed where his hands guided me, moving my legs to where he wanted them, and felt him press up against my opening with his cock. “You ready, baby?” he asked, his voice husky with desire. I looked over my shoulder and nodded just before he slid into me.

The pressure was exquisite. He felt so different entering me from this angle, and I moaned wantonly as he started sliding in and out of me. “Oh...shit,” Sean hissed through his teeth. “Fuck, you feel so good. Not gonna last much longer, baby.” I only groaned in response, my voice breaking with every thrust he pounded into me. He thrust one last time, letting out a loud roar of release before pulling out of me and collapsing on the bed. I immediately lay down next to him, half on the bed, half resting on his chest, my arm draped over his torso. “Sorry, sweetheart. Jesus, you turn me on so much,” he whispered between pantingbreaths.

“You turn me on pretty well, too, you know,” I murmured against his chest. “We can definitely do that again.”

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “I swear, next time it’ll last longer.”

I looked up and stretched up for a quick kiss. “Deal,” I smiled wickedly. “So...don’t want to get me pregnant...yet?”

“Uh, no...not yet,” he looked down at me. “But one day...I’d love to have a baby with you.” He placed his hand on my lower abdomen.

My heart swelled with excitement and my pulse began to race. “Me too,” I whispered. “If it weren’t for school...”

“Don’t even start,” he scolded me and wrapped his arms tightly around me. “That’s about the only reason I...held out the way I did. Well, that and...”

“My parents,” I finished his sentence. Sean nodded with a grimace. “Still...it’s fun to think about.” I grabbed his hand and replaced it on my belly. I could feel my pussy tightening again, my nipples hardening. It was as if my body wanted to get started on this right away.

Sean stayed quiet, his eyes roaming all over my face. Finally he spoke up, his voice thick with emotion, “God, I love you so damn much.”

“I love you, too, baby,” I hugged myself close to him. He pulled me up and kissed me fiercely, his tongue plunging into my mouth. “What was that for?” I asked dazedly, breathlessly, when he finally released me.

“I like when you call me baby,” he said in a low, growly voice.

I grinned at him, “I seem to remember you saying that. I’ll have to do that more often if it means you kissing me like that.”

He laughed softly, “Don’t you like the way I kiss you?”

“I love the way you kiss me,” I said emphatically. “I could kiss you all day if I could.”

“There’s always tomorrow,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I playfully slapped his chest, “You’re terrible, you know that?”

“I know,” he grinned, “but you love me.”

“I really do,” I murmured. A yawn crept up on me, escaping before I could stop it.

Sean chuckled, “Tired already?”

“Mm...just relaxed,” I replied.

“Come on, sweetheart, it’s only...” he craned his neck to see the face of his alarm clock, “geez, not even eight-thirty. Come on,” he sat up, bringing me with him. “If you fall asleep now, your sleep schedule will be thrown all out of whack. I’ll do up dishes real quick and we can put in another movie, cuddle on the couch or something.”

I nodded, “Alright. After you.” Sean threw the covers off him and got up off the bed. I quickly reached over and smacked him right on the butt. He jumped and spun around to glare at me in surprise. I smiled cheekily and said, “Payback for smacking me earlier.”

He narrowed his eyes and lowered himself onto the bed, crawling toward me until I was forced to lean back. Before I knew it he was hovering over me again. He kissed me, long and languidly, and ground his hips against mine, teasing my still sensitive flesh. “You want payback? Just you wait.”

I was suddenly wide awake again, excitement coursing through my system as I wondered what this man, my fiancé, had in store for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Finally. I’m sorry this took so long. I wanted to throw a little drama in here, kind of help the plot along, create some sort of tension, but everything I thought of led to either Morgan telling her answer to his proposal earlier than I really wanted her to, or one of them thinking this was all a mistake, and we can’t have that.
> 
> The green bean thing was actually how I was going to have Morgan tell him, but...well...I think she explained that cheesiness just isn’t her style.
> 
> So what’d you think? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for all your patience!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summer of Learning – Chapter 12**

Sean and I cuddled on the couch, warm and cozy bundled under the blanket, watching another movie. I loved that we could just sit here together, not really doing much of anything, and could be completely content. All the romantic stuff, the love we made together, was beautiful, and I knew I’d never really be able to get enough of it, but these quiet moments between us were just as wonderful.

Once the movie was over, Sean kissed my temple and whispered wickedly in my ear, “I’m gonna grab a shower. Care to join me?”

My pulse quickened just at the mere mention of showering with him. I nodded, trying not to appear too excited. Sean slid his arm under my legs, which had been draped over his lap, and lifted me easily as he stood up and walked me to the bathroom. He set me down on the cool tiles and turned to start running the water.

We kissed sweetly as we undressed each other. By the time we were completely stripped down, the water had turned hot and the bathroom was filling with steam, the mirror over the vanity beginning to fog.

Sean stepped into the shower first, then held the curtain back and offered his hand to help me in. He stepped back, pulling me with him until we were both standing beneath the cascading water. I giggled as streams of water poured down his face, fat drops falling from the end of his nose. He narrowed his eyes, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the water or if he was planning something. I was soon answered with him leaning down and kissing me, all wet and hot and not a little bit sloppy.

He broke the kiss and leaned past me to reach for the bottle of shampoo. He squeezed a small amount into the palm of his hand and began working it into his hair. “Let me,” I said, starting to reach up.

“Sure you can reach?” he asked teasingly and I playfully smacked him on the chest.

“Shut up,” I responded and proceeded to thread my fingers through his hair, working the suds around. I stepped backward, pulling Sean further under the water, and rinsed the suds out of his hair. He shook his head and wiped his eyes, then turned us again to shampoo my hair.

His fingers felt wonderful against my scalp; I was beyond relaxed, and all because of Sean and his strong fingers working miraculous ministrations. The sensation ended all too quickly as he guided me further into the streaming water to rinse the soap away. My eyes drifted shut as he carefully ran his hands over my head, directing the water away from my face.

Next he leaned over and squeezed some body wash onto a washcloth and began working the fabric against itself to create a thick lather. His hands were all over me, guiding me to where he wanted me, thoroughly cleansing me. My eyes remained closed as he ran his hands over my body. He paid particular attention to my breasts, massaging but not quite teasing, eliciting a series of wanting moans from me. I didn’t have the wherewithal to be embarrassed by my wanton sounds, nor to care that I would end up smelling like Sean. All I knew was how luxurious it all felt, how amazing he made me feel inside and out, how very much I loved him.

His hand, still covered in the soapy washcloth, travelled further south, skirting around my belly button, my waist, and my hips before venturing down toward the nest of curls between my thighs. His other hand reached between my legs; I gasped at the sudden feel of him there. My legs parted at the slightest pressure of his fingers.

I sensed him lowering himself, squatting down before me. He wrapped his long fingers around my ankle and gently pulled upward. I grabbed his shoulders for balance as he washed my foot; I fought not to lose my balance as the washcloth tickled the bottom of my foot. His hand trailed up my leg, behind my knee, and along my inner thigh before he switched hands and washed the outer side of my leg. He set my foot down and repeated the process on my other leg. Each time he got closer to my groin, I would tense in anticipation only to be disappointed by the lack of contact I was now desperately craving.

Once he had finished with my legs, he stood and turned me around to wash my back. As he did, his fingertips dug into my muscles, effectively giving me a shoulder massage. He moved his hand down to the small of my back, and even washed my backside before turning me around and kissing me.

“Um,” I said softly, “I think you missed a spot.” My eyebrow curved upward of its own volition and I grinned up at him.

“Oh...really?” Sean asked innocently. “What would that be?”

I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and guided his hand to my pelvis. “I think you know where.”

The corners of his lips curled into a smirk. “Oh, you mean here?” he asked and pressed his fingers firmly against me, teasing my already sensitive flesh. I felt his fingers just barely parting my lower lips, the fibers of the washcloth stimulating my clit. I bucked my hips against his hand, seeking to prolong contact. My cry of arousal transformed into one of frustration and despair as he pulled away from me. I glared at him through the coursing water, only to find him giving back a devilish grin.

“No,” he simply stated and began rinsing out the washcloth.

“What the hell do you mean, ‘No’?” I demanded.

Sean wrung out the washcloth and looked down at me. “No,” he repeated, eyebrows raised.

“Sean...” I whined. “Please. I need you.” I was practically shaking I was so turned on, so ready.

“I just got you all clean. I don’t want to undo all my hard work,” he explained, his smirk never leaving his face.

I took the washcloth from his hand, my determination steeling within me. _Two can play at that game, mister._ I pumped more body wash onto the terrycloth and worked it into a lather. I kept my expression calm. “Alright. My turn,” and began washing him.

His skin was warm and smooth beneath my hands. I followed the same course Sean had just taken over my body. I pressed firmly against his muscles, delighting in the feel of them. _This gorgeous man is all mine._

I lowered myself to start washing his legs, placing my hand on the back of his calf, silently asking him to lift his foot. I resisted tickling him, instead focusing on not focusing on how close his growing cock was to my face. I finished with one leg and moved on to his other, still avoiding getting too near to his groin.

I placed both hands on his hips, bringing my mouth to his member so I was certain he could feel my breath on hit. “Turn around, baby,” I murmured as seductively as I could manage, pushing and pulling his hips to turn him.

He followed my instructions without a word. I ran my hands along his backside and up his back. I rubbed along his shoulders, as he had done to me, and smiled when I heard his groan of pleasure. When I had finished, he turned again to face me. “Forget something?” he asked.

I pursed my lips and raised my eyebrows. “I thought you said no,” feeling every bit the snot that I was acting. Sean took my hand and dragged it along his chest, down his chiseled abs, until my fingers were wrapped around his dick. He groaned again in pleasure as I gently began stroking him, feeling him grow and harden within my hand; he gasped when I found his sack and carefully started to massage him there.

I had to force myself to pull my hand away; his blissful look almost had me indulging him and stroking him to his release. Instead, I stepped away from him, bracing myself for a groan, a dirty look, some kind of reaction from him.

All Sean did was look at me for a moment, emotionless, and for that moment, I was a little scared. I was expecting some kind of...something...anger, disappointment...something.

He surprised me by merely gazing down at me; he took the washcloth from my hand and let it plop on the shower floor. His hands trailed up my arms and over my shoulders, until he was cupping my face and finally kissed me, pulling me close to him. The hot water was coursing over us, which made breathing a little difficult, but neither of us seemed to mind. I was lost in his kiss, in the want and longing that was uncurling within me. I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers dancing over his back.

I moaned into his mouth, desperately seeking more of him. I was both disappointed and excited when Sean pulled away and turned off the water. “C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s get you dried off...and into bed.” I smiled up at him, unable to hide my excitement. We took turns drying each other off before he scooped me into his arms again and was carrying me into his bedroom.

“My legs do work, you know,” I said as I wound my arms loosely around his neck.

“Oh, I know,” he answered, grinning down at me. “Just don’t want your clean feet to get dirty. Besides,” he said before pressing a kiss to my forehead, “I figure I’d better start practicing carrying you this way. You know...for later on.”

I giggled against his neck as a rush of electricity surged through my body; I hummed as he carefully deposited me on his soft mattress. I watched him as he moved around the room, turning on the bedside lamp. Sean turned off the overhead light and returned to the bed, covering both of us with the warm comforter before leaning over to click off the lamp.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me until I was flush up against him; I was more than a little surprised to find myself the little spoon to his big spoon, his front pressing against my back. _Just what is he getting at?_ I wondered. I wiggled against him, testing the waters. Sean only tightened his grip around me. “Behave. Go to sleep.”

 _Sleep? Was he kidding?_ I tried to turn to face him, but was locked in his vice-like grip. “Sean...” I whined. “Please? You’ve got me so turned on right now.”

I heard and felt him chuckle behind me as he pressed a kiss behind my ear. “I know, sweetheart,” he murmured, low and wicked. “Trust me, I know.” He rocked his pelvis against me and I could easily feel his hardness pressing against me.

“Well, then why not?”

He propped himself up on his elbow and I turned to look up at him. “You know,” he said, peering down at me, “I’m beginning to think you only want me for my body.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled, “Baby, you know that’s not true.” I reached up and caressed his cheek.

“Yeah?” he asked, then smiled broadly. “Promise?” I nodded excitedly. He leaned down to kiss me, but instead whispered in my ear, “Prove it,” and laid his head down heavily on the pillow.

I let out a loud noise of frustration. “Are you kidding me with this right now?” I asked angrily. He gave a loud pretend snore. “You are such a jerk sometimes, you know that?”

“Yeah,” I could hear the grin in his voice before he kissed my neck, “but you love me.”

I sighed heavily. Alright, if that’s the game he wanted to play, so be it. Sure, I could just lay naked next to him all night and have complete control over myself. We weren’t a couple of animals who couldn’t restrain ourselves. Right?

This just might be the longest night of my life.

“I wonder which one of us will break first.”

Sean turned his head toward me and grinned. God, his eyes were so gorgeous, especially this close up, even in the soft light from the streetlamp outside. My heart melted looking over at him. “I dunno,” he answered. “You seem pretty keyed up...”

“Yeah,” I countered, “I wonder what caused that?”

He leaned up to kiss me again. “Can’t imagine,” he murmured against my lips.

I kissed him back, then guided his head to my chest. “Very funny,” I said dryly. “Let’s get some sleep,” I said, suddenly feeling the calming effects of the hot shower and now having wrapping his arms around me. I slid my arm under his neck and curled it around his head so I could play with his shaggy hair; the other arm rested over his side so my fingertips ran up and down his back. My hands continued their dance against his skin and the stroll through his hair. I wanted to hold him as he so often held me – it was just an added bonus that our new position placed his face directly into my bosom. “Good night, baby.”

“Good night,” he murmured before snuggling closer to my breasts and sighing contentedly. I readjusted the blanket over us, cocooning us beneath its warmth for the night.

****************

I don’t remember much of my dreams from that night, only that they were pleasant enough, though nothing in particular stood out.

I remember a searing heat near my heart, travelling through my chest. The heat spread all over my skin, but seemed to concentrate on my nipples. I could feel my body reacting, but my mind was stuck in that place between sleep and consciousness. All I could do was lay back and feel these sensations coursing through my sleep-paralyzed body.

Next I felt a gentle force pressing against my knee, effectively spreading my legs for me ever so slightly. I felt pressure between my thighs, separating the lips of my pussy and teasing along my entrance. I bucked my hand against the pressure, seeking more contact. It felt heavenly; I was certain it was all part of an incredibly good sex dream. The pressure moved from my opening to graze against my clit, then back, and forth, and back again.

I could feel myself starting to stir, but there was some delicious power keeping me relaxed in this blissful, dreamlike state. The scorching heat returned to my breast as I felt further pressure, this time parting my lower lips and sliding into me. Something else was pressing firmly on my sensitive nub. The pressure moved within me, the heat on my breast tightening on my nipple.

I started to waken, my breathing picking up, my hips rocking against this incredible feeling growing within me. The next thing I knew, I was screaming myself awake in pure ecstasy. My eyes fluttered open as I realized I had just had an orgasm in my sleep. One look to my side and I knew exactly why: Sean’s mouth was still attached to my breast, his hand still busy between my legs, trying to coax another orgasm out of me.

“Sean,” I whispered throatily, and his head snapped up, his clear eyes fixing on me.

He smirked up at me from my chest, “Good morning.”

I couldn’t move. Any energy I had gained overnight had been sapped from cumming so hard. I could barely string a sentence together, but managed to mumble, “Morning.” I fought to catch my breath and swallowed hard, “Oh my god...what did you do to me?”

“Payback,” he grinned. I looked at him, confused. “For yesterday. You woke me up. Today was my turn.”

Oh. So that was his game. “Why did you stop there, then?” I asked, weakly pulling at his arm to bring him up to me.

He apparently understood what I was getting at and quickly covered me with his body, settling easily between my legs, and slid into me with absolutely no resistance. He started with slow, purposeful strokes, setting an unhurried pace, but soon sped up, as if he couldn’t hold himself back. He was rocking into my body with more tenacity, pushing my thighs wider apart with his own with every thrust. He bottomed out inside of me, the sound of our skin slapping together echoing off the walls of his room. I cried out, even though my voice was still hoarse from my first orgasm this morning. He kept hitting just the right spot, and before I knew it I was crashing around him, calling out his name over and over as pleasure washed over me.

“Oh...Morgan...ah, fuck!” he yelled out as he thrust into me one final time. I swear I could feel him cumming inside me, he finished with such force. He collapsed on top of me, and I didn’t mind his weight in the least. It felt so good to have him wrapped up in my arms and legs, in my body. We were truly one in that moment.

A thought crept into my mind and I jerked at the realization. “Sean,” I whispered harshly. “You weren’t wearing anything.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ve got us both covered.” I looked up at him, confused once again. “I had put a condom on even before I started touching you. Didn’t want to have to stop once we got things going.”

“Oh my God,” I breathed, relieved that he’d had the forethought to use protection. I wanted to feel him cum inside me, but at the same time, I didn’t want to risk getting pregnant. “Wait a minute,” I paused as my thoughts caught up with me. I looked at him, almost accusingly. “You had this planned the whole time. Is this why the no sex last night? So I’d be all ready to go in the morning?”

Sean had the decency to look guilty at least. “Well, kind of. I really did just want to lay with you last night, but this might have been brewing in the back of my mind before then. This morning, you lying naked next to me, I just couldn’t resist.” He looked up at me from underneath his eyelashes. “Are you complaining?”

I thought about it. It did feel amazing, waking up to him doing all sorts of wonderful things to me. And he hadn’t done anything to me that I hadn’t wanted him to. Perhaps I may have liked it more if I’d been fully awake, not just barely waking up, but I wasn’t angry at him. “No,” I finally decided. “No, I’m not complaining. Maybe next time, just wake me up a little first? So I can participate more?”

“Ah, but I liked doing that to you in your sleep,” his voice was muffled as he was nuzzling into my neck. “Knowing it was just me bringing you so much pleasure, seeing you reacting without thinking at all. Just going on pure, raw instinct. I liked making you cum in your dreams.”

Hmm...he had a point. “Well...not all the time, okay? I like being with you, every step of the way.”

“And you waking me up like that yesterday?” he questioned.

Damn...another good point. “As I remember you woke up before you finished. I woke up _as_ I was finishing. There’s a difference.”

“Alright. I won’t do that anymore,” he sounded almost petulant.

“Just not all the time,” I corrected him. “I didn’t mind it, and...wouldn’t mind waking up like that again...but I’d like to be awake before you start, at least most of the time. Okay?” I sought his eyes again. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but some of this was still very new to me.

“Promise,” he said and kissed me sweetly.

“So,” I started, trying to lighten the mood. “I guess you lost.” I almost laughed at his look of bewilderment. “You broke first. From last night.”

He laughed and retorted, “I dunno. You finished before I did.”

“But I only finished because of what you were doing to me. I win.”

Sean rolled his eyes, “Yes, dear,” and kissed me again. He started to scoot off the bed. “Come on, up and at ‘em. I think I heard the plow truck going by earlier. We oughta start tunneling our way out of the house and join up with the rest of the world.

I groaned at the thought. I never wanted to leave this house – I could barely drag myself to leave this bed – but I knew he was right. I couldn’t hide out here forever. I followed him out of bed and grabbed one of his t-shirts to slip on, forgoing wearing my own night clothes, before heading to the kitchen for some breakfast.

I whipped up some quick scrambled eggs and cooked the leftover bacon, then threw a couple pieces of bread into the toaster. I felt more comfortable with him sitting at the table watching me this time, and he made another comment about how easily I fit in every room of his house. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as I finished cooking our meal and served the both of us.

After breakfast, Sean got dressed to head outside: heavy boots, padded vest over a thick flannel shirt, knit cap on his head and snow shovel in hand. “Can I help?” I offered.

“Nah, only got one shovel decent enough to handle all this,” he gestured outside. “It won’t take long. I figure I’ll get the walk done first, then tackle the driveway after a while. Once the driveway is halfway decent, you can come out and start chiseling out your car.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” I reached up to hug him to me, pressing my body against his and kissing him passionately. I grinned up at him, “Something to help keep you warm out there.” I pressed another quick kiss against his lips. “Be careful, okay? I don’t want you falling on the ice and breaking a hip.”

Sean’s eyebrows shot up, his eyes widening in mock incredulity. “Oh...I see...you’ve got jokes. Old man jokes again.” He nodded slowly and narrowed his eyes at me. “Well...I’ll just be on my way, I reckon,” he said, his voice taking on a withered old man sound as he spoke. “Stay warm, ye young whipper snapper.”

I giggled and pulled him down for a kiss. “I love you, old man.”

He bent lower and cupped his hand behind his ear, “Eh? What’s that you say?”

I rolled my eyes at him, “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. No more old man jokes. Just be careful, okay?”

“I’ll be careful,” he said softly, straightening up and crossing to the front door. “See you in a bit.”

I sat on the couch and covered up with the blanket. I knew I should probably go and get dressed, but it wasn’t like I was going anywhere anytime soon. Besides, I loved the feel of Sean’s shirt on me, his smell surrounding me as I settled into the warmth of the couch. I looked out the window, though squinted would be a more appropriate word. The bright sunlight reflected on the stark white snow, and was intensified by the glare from the sheen of ice that covered everything. Still, the sun was also warming everything to just above freezing, so it was all worth it. My eyes eventually adjusted to the brightness from outside and I watched as Sean worked to clear his walkway of all the precipitation. I felt bad about not being able to help him, but there wasn’t a ton I could do without another shovel. I resolved to making him nice and comfortable once he came back in, figuring it was the least I could do.

I threw the afghan off me, shivering at the sudden loss of heat, and scampered barefoot into the kitchen. I quickly located some cocoa powder and a saucepan, deciding some hot chocolate would warm him up in no time. I checked in the fridge to make sure he had enough milk, and saw the roll of cookie dough sitting on the top shelf. What would go more perfect with hot cocoa than fresh out of the oven cookies? I set the oven to start preheating and returned to the couch to huddle under the covers.

Sean was about half way down the walk when the oven reached the correct temperature. This was going to be perfect. I scooped enough dough on a cookie sheet for a dozen large cookies and popped the pan in the oven and set the timer. Then I poured some milk into the saucepan and turned the burner onto low to start warming up.

I had just pulled the cookies out of the oven when I heard the front door open. His voice was louder than usual; curious, I rushed to finish transferring the cookies from the pan to the counter to see what was going on.

“I, uh...I really appreciate you coming over, man. I mean it though, I can get the rest on my own.”

“Hey, two shovels are better than one, right?” A chill ran down my back. I knew that voice. “So...who’s car is that out there? They sure aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Got someone else in here?”

“Uh...yeah,” Sean stammered. “My uh...my girlfriend.”

“Since when do you have a girlfriend?” _Oh shit. No, no, no, no, no!_ I started to move, as quietly and quickly as I could, back to Sean’s bedroom to throw some clothes on. I could hear footsteps getting closer to the kitchen.

“Norm, wait!” Sean called out. They were both on the opposite end of the kitchen from me.

I slowly turned around to face them. “Hi, Dad,” I said shyly.

My father was standing stock still just inside the kitchen, eyes about to pop out of his head. “Morgan?” he whispered icily.

“Norm, I can explain,” Sean began but was cut off before he had a chance to deliver.

“Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT?” my father bellowed. He looked back and forth from me to Sean, seemingly not able to grasp the situation.

The next thing I knew, dad was pulling his fist back, then hurtling it toward Sean’s face. Sean dropped like a sack of potatoes. “Dad, no!” I rushed over to Sean’s side on the floor, not caring that I was still only wearing one of his t-shirts. My fingers traced over his face, though they didn’t make much purchase as he was hiding his surely bleeding and broken nose beneath his large hands. My heart went out to him as he groaned in pain on the floor.

I was barely aware of my father taking a step back and watching us. “How long?” he asked, his voice barely over a whisper. I looked up at him, searching for which answer to give him. “HOW LONG?” he shouted.

“We’ve actually been going out just under a month,” I said quickly.

“UNDER A MONTH?” he yelled. “You’ve been dating him less than a month and you’re already sleeping with him? Jesus Christ, Morgan!”

I stood up to try to explain, “Dad, you don’t understand. We became official the week before Christmas, but we’ve been...sort of dating since the summer.”

His eyes almost popped out of his head again. “Summer?!? You’ve been keeping this from me and your mother for four months? How the hell could you?” His voice was not getting any quieter. “And you?” he spat at Sean, who was just now trying to get up off the floor. “Who the hell do you think you are that you can touch my daughter in any way? Fucking hell, you held her the day she was born! What the fuck?”

Sean stood shakily, and I moved to stand right next to him. He put his arm along my shoulders, checking his other hand for blood, which was still trickling out of his nose. “I love her, Norman. I want to marry her.”

I cringed. We definitely should have had that particular conversation another time. Too late now. I peeked up at my father, who could have had steam coming out of his ears; he looked absolutely furious. “The fuck you do,” he growled out. “Over my fucking dead body.”

“Dad, please. I love him. I...I said yes. I want to marry him too,” I was proud of myself that my voice didn’t crack once, though my knees were shaking so much I wondered how much longer I’d be able to stand on my own.

His eyes flashed with anger, disbelief, and...was that actual hatred? He shook his head and muttered as he made his way back to the front door, “I have to get the fuck out of here. I get to tell your mother that her daughter has been screwing around with someone twice her fucking age...someone who used to be my best friend.”

I gulped. “Mom...already knows,” I said, this time, my voice shaking uncontrollably. I knew this was going to be bad, but I had to tell him. “I made her promise not to tell you because I wanted to tell you myself. I just...hadn’t found the right time to tell you. I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Let me get this straight,” he said frostily. “My barely-legal daughter has been fucking my best friend, they think they want to get married, my wife has known for who knows how long, and I’m just now finding out?” Our guilty silence was enough of an answer for him. “I can’t fucking believe this!” He glared and pointed at Sean, “We are so fucking done.”

Then he turned his sights on me, “And you...don’t bother ever coming home.”

With that he stomped through the living room, leaving us, slamming the front door behind him as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was worth the wait. You guys wanted drama, you got it!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a super high action chapter, but an important one nonetheless. Thanks to SaraiVe for the great advice and foreverwishing for her patience.

**Summer of Learning – Chapter 13**

We stood there in shocked silence in the wake of my dad’s angry outburst. I looked over to Sean, who still had a trickle of blood leaking from his nose, and went into autopilot mode. I grabbed a dish towel from the drawer, turned the fire off underneath the milk I had been heating, then moved to the freezer to gather some ice into the towel. I pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and wordlessly got him seated, tilting his head back and gingerly applying the impromptu ice pack. I stood there, holding it to his nose, running my free hand through his hair, trying to absorb what had just happened. It was like my mind couldn’t accept this was real. Had I really just been kicked out of my parents’ house?

“You okay?” Sean asked quietly, pulling me from my thoughts…or lack thereof.

“I…I don’t know,” was all I could think to say.

Sean closed his eyes and took the icepack from my hand, reapplying it to where he needed it more. “You might want to give your mom a heads up that your dad is on his way home and pretty pissed off.”

I nodded, realizing after the fact that he couldn’t see me, and drifted down the hall to his bedroom where my phone was still sitting on the charger. I glanced over to his side of the bed and saw his phone flashing on his nightstand, indicating he had a missed call – three missed calls in fact – all from my father. I went to look closer and, sure enough, his phone was sitting on vibrate. Of course it was. I hung my head; if he’d had the ringer turned on, we’d have been warned and this whole thing might not have even happened…at least not the way it just had. I pulled up my mom’s number on my phone and called her. She picked up after the second ring. “Hi, hon,” she answered.

“Mom?” and my voice broke, everything seemed to finally hit me all at once, and tears began flowing openly down my face. “Mom, I don’t know what to do.”

“What is it?” she asked. “Is it Sean? Did he do something?”

“No…no, nothing like that,” I managed to choke out in between sobs. “Dad was just here. We didn’t know he was coming. He…he knows about us and…he didn’t take it so well.”

“Morgan, what happened?”

“He punched Sean in the face. I think he broke his nose. And then he…he…” I couldn’t say it. Saying it would make it all real.

“Honey, tell me.”

“He kicked me out,” I cried into the receiver. A cold chill ran down my spine; admitting it made it so much more real. God, what was I going to do?

“He kicked you out? Of Sean’s?” my mother asked, sounding confused.

“No. He said that I shouldn’t bother coming home…ever.” My mother stayed silent on her end of the phone. I swallowed and pressed on, “I don’t know what to do, mom. He’s on his way back home now. He…he knows you know. I tried to tell him I asked you not to tell him, so I could do it myself, but…mom, he was so angry. I’m scared, I don’t know what to do.” I sniffled loudly and breathed deep, trying to control my tears.

It took a minute for my mom to answer. “Oh, Morgan…what all does he know?”

I cringed, hating having to tell her the news this way. “Well, he came in and saw me…still in my pajamas.” Not exactly the truth, but close enough. “He saw my car out front but I guess he didn’t recognize it under all the snow and ice, so he asked Sean whose it was and he said it was his girlfriend’s and then dad came in and saw me and punched Sean.”

Mom sighed, “So…he knows that you two…” she trailed off.

I nodded, “Pretty sure he put that one together real quick.”

“Oh, Morgan…” I could just imagine her shaking her head slowly and rolling her eyes at me.

“That’s, um…that’s not all.” I took a deep breath, braced myself and said quietly, “Sean asked me to marry him…and I said yes.”

“WHAT?!?”

My mom rarely ever yelled, so the sudden increase in volume directly into my ear shocked and deafened me at the same time.

“I know it’s crazy…”

“You’re damn right it’s crazy!” she agreed angrily.

“…but I love him, mom. I really do, and he loves me.”

Mom was silent for another minute before asking in a scarily even tone, “Is he there?”

“Yes.”

“Put. Him. On,” she demanded. I knew better than to argue. I padded out to the kitchen, finding him in the same position I had left him, and put the phone on speaker.

“Okay mom. He’s here.”

“What the HELL are you thinking?” she yelled through the speaker.

“Ya told her, huh?” he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I only nodded and looked down at my hands in my lap. “Hi Em. I know you’re pissed…”

“You’re damn right I’m pissed. What the in the ever loving fuck are you thinking?”

Sean quietly sighed and carefully took the ice pack off his nose to sit up straighter, placing the towel on the table. “Emily, I love Morgan, more than anyone or anything I’ve ever known in my whole life. She makes me happy. It’s like…like I didn’t even know how miserable I was until we got together, and now…” He let out his breath in a puff. “I know this is crazy. I do. But it’s real. I know what it looks like, but it’s more than that, I promise. I love her and want to make her as happy as she makes me. I want to be the one to take care of her for the rest of our lives.”

I fought back the fresh tears that threatened to fall. My heart was already bursting with love for this man, but this confession of all his feelings for me was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

He leaned forward, his elbows on the table, and let his head drop, his eyes closed. “But Em, I’m not going to be the reason she gets kicked out of her own house.”

What? My head snapped up to look at him, but his eyes were still closed. My stomach churned and dropped to my feet; I swear my heart stopped beating.

“If you’re this mad, and Norman’s ready to disown her or whatever…I can’t do that to her. She means too much to me and I can’t stand to see her cut off from her own family.” He kept his head down and eyes closed as he spoke. “Her future and your family are more important.”

Ice ran in my veins. This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t even find words to argue, and by the tone of his voice, I knew anything I could come up with wouldn’t matter. He’d apparently thought this through while I was talking to mom in his bedroom. I felt like my whole life was completely out of control, like the rug had been yanked out from under me and a proverbial storm cloud was down pouring right onto me. I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate, my head swimming in a foggy mess. How could this be happening? I almost pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t in the middle of some awful nightmare.

It could have been minutes or hours before my mom spoke again; time seemed to stand still all around me. “Dammit, Sean. How the hell am I supposed to stay mad at you when you say shit like that?” I stared wide-eyed at my phone still sitting on the table. I knew she was still upset; mom almost never swore, but she was still letting the profanities fly. She sighed heavily before speaking again. “I wish to god Norman could have heard what you just said. If you really love her as much as you say you do, you will NOT just send her packing.”

“But Em, I can’t…”

“What would that look like, Sean?” Her question stopped him in his tracks. “The first problem comes along and you give up? Even if it is for her benefit, what would that look like?” We both sat quietly, knowing she’d continue, her question obviously rhetorical. “It sure wouldn’t look like someone who’s in it for the long haul. If you’re serious about wanting to marry her, fight for her. God, I can’t believe I’m saying this…” I could imagine her shaking her head again. “I mean it Sean. Prove him wrong.”

“What about you and…”

“I’ll handle my husband, although I don’t think anything I say is going to sink in until he calms down in a month or so, plus now I have to figure out how to tell him that I’ve been keeping this all a secret from him…”

“Blame me, mom,” I finally found my voice. “I was the one who begged you not to tell him.”

“Morgan, honey, I appreciate it, but I think you’re in enough hot water as it is. I’ll take care of your father. You take care of Sean. Based on how he’s sounding, I’m pretty sure your father broke his nose. You remember how to set it from your first aid class?”

I cringed at the thought of hurting Sean…and I knew that resetting the cartilage was going to hurt a lot. “Yeah…I might get him drunk first so he doesn’t feel it.”

“I doubt it will help much, but you can try. Don’t wait too long, though. Load him up on aspirin first to help take the edge off. On second thought, just go with aspirin. Best not to mix pain killers with alcohol.” My mother, ever the super-nurse. “Are you okay, Morgan?”

I took a shaky breath, my thoughts swirling within my mind. In less than half an hour, I’d been found out by my father, kicked out of my home, my boyfriend took a punch to the nose…from my father, then professed how much he loves me, then almost broke off our whole relationship. Now my mother was telling us to stay together, despite the fact that I knew she wasn’t thrilled with us being together in the first place. Somehow, despite all the insanity, I was beginning to find the eye of the storm. It would be rough for a while, but we’d be okay…something deep down was telling me so.

“Yeah. A little freaked out, but I’m okay. I’m sorry, mom,” I replied.

“Everything will work out, hon. I think I hear your dad pulling up now,” she sighed heavily. “Here goes. Be careful, you two.”

A tiny smile worked its way across my lips. “I love you, mom.”

“Love you, too, Morgan. Bye,” and she ended the call.

We sat quietly at the kitchen table for a while. I was still reeling from what had just happened, afraid for more than one reason. What if mom couldn’t talk dad down? What if he stuck with his decision and I was no longer welcome in my home? Would I be able to get all my stuff? I said a quick prayer that mom would be alright, not that dad would ever do anything to her, but I didn’t want their relationship to suffer because of me.

Then there was the pressing thought that Sean had been ready to end our own relationship. I was torn. On the one hand, he put my relationship with my parents above my relationship with him, which was noble to say the least. On the other hand, he’d been ready to call it quits so easily. It was like mom said, why hadn’t he thought to fight for me, to make this work? And he’d come to that conclusion all on his own, not even mentioning it to me before suggesting it to my mom…not that he’d had a chance to talk to me about it. It was all just so confusing.

“So first aid class, huh?” his question broke the silence.

I nodded, “Yeah. Last year. Mom kinda talked me into it. She said it’d look good for college applications and resumes and stuff. I’ll get you some aspirin and let it kick in, then I’ll work on resetting your nose for you.” I went to stand up, but his hand reached out and wrapped his fingers gently around my wrist.

“Hey,” he stopped me. “Are you okay?” His eyes, full of concern, searched my face.

I nodded again and said quietly, “Yeah. I think so.”

His fingers slid from my wrist to intertwine between mine. “Are…we okay?”

I paused before answering. “Let me work on your nose. Then we’ll talk.” I pulled my hand away and went down the hall to the bathroom to find some pain killers. While rummaging through his medicine cabinet I grabbed some gauze, surgical tape, and a towel. I laid everything out on the kitchen table and pushed Sean to move his chair around so I could get to him easily. I offered him the aspirin and a glass of water, “Take these.”

He took the pills and washed them down. I gave him the hand towel and instructed him to blow gently. “I have Kleenex, you know,” he looked up at me and cocked an eyebrow.

“Do you know how many Kleenex you’d need to…you know what? Just do it,” I told him. I tried not to be mad at him, but I couldn’t help but be a little miffed that he’d been so ready to just call it quits. My mother’s voice was still echoing in my mind. _The first problem comes along and you give up? If you’re serious about wanting to marry her, fight for her._ Why had he given up so easily? I pushed the thoughts to the back corner of my mind and focused on helping Sean.

“Okay,” I started lightly pressing on his nose, trying to feel the break through the already swollen tissue. “Breathe deep through your mouth. This is gonna hurt.” As far as I could tell there was only one spot where the cartilage wasn’t aligned properly. I arranged my fingertips along the bridge of his nose. “One…two…”

“AAAAAA-OW! Mother fuck!” He jerked away from me.

I handed him the towel again. “I’m sorry…I did warn you.”

He took the towel and wiped up the freshly flowing blood. “You didn’t even give me to three!”

“Well, you would have tensed up and moved and I wouldn’t have been able to set it right. Then we’d have to do it all over again. Now it’s all done,” I explained. Man, that came out really kind of mean. I tried for a gentler tack. “Come here,” I ran my fingers through his shaggy hair and guided him back to face me. “I need to tape you up so it sets right.” I worked the gauze and tape and got him all bandaged up. “Let’s get you someplace more comfortable,” I took his hand in mine and gently pulled him up and led him to the living room. I propped extra pillows on one end for him, pulled off his boots, and eased him back to recline on the couch. I returned to the kitchen to clean up the mess then found a bag of frozen peas in the freezer and went back to the living room. “These will work better than just ice. They mold to your face and, you know, don’t melt. Keep them on there, though. We need to keep the swelling down,” I said then took a seat at the other end of the sofa.

“Thanks,” he mumbled weakly. Several long, quiet moments went by before he said, “So…we need to talk?”

I sighed internally and looked at him. He looked so pathetic; my heart just went out to him. “I guess so,” was all I could get out. “It’s just…a lot. Maybe I just need time to process, you know?”

Sean readjusted to see me better. “I know.”

We sat together in silence, the only sound coming from the bag of peas on Sean’s nose as he repositioned them to find a cold spot. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. “I just…I don’t know, Sean. My dad just kicked me out and your first reaction was to dump me, too?” I glanced up as he took the makeshift icepack off his nose to look at me. “Keep that on there. You need to…”

“Fuck it,” he cut me off, plopping the vegetables on the cushion between us and reaching for my hands. “Morgan, look at me.” Our eyes met, mine full of worry, his full of determination. “I love you. I love you so much. I can’t tell you how much it hurt to even think about the possibility of losing you. I would have been an absolute wreck. I probably lost my best and oldest friend today, and that hurts a lot, but it would kill me to lose you. The problem is, I hate to think about my feelings coming in between you and your family. So yeah, my gut reaction was to back off and let you work things out with your mom and dad.” He paused and took in then released a long breath before continuing. “The thing is, your mom’s absolutely right. What the hell kind of boyfriend…fiancée…husband…would I be if I just gave up on us so quickly? I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell Norm earlier. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep him outside. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I’m sorry for jumping to the easy way to solve this…problem. But Morgan,” he tightened his grip on my hands. “I’m not going anywhere. I hope you aren’t either. I’ll take a beating from your dad every day if I have to, but I don’t want to lose you. Not ever.”

I didn’t realize I’d been crying until I felt a drop land on my still bare leg. I thought about telling him this could have all been avoided if he’d had his phone on him, or at least so the ringer was on, but I didn’t want to literally add insult to injury. I gave him a watery smile and half-laughed, half-sobbed. “I love you, Sean. So much.” I leaned forward and kissed him, mindful of his bandaged nose. Apparently I wasn’t careful enough; he hissed and winced away from me. My forehead wrinkled in concern. “Sorry,” I whispered.

Sean grinned at me, but the rest of his face was still twisted into a grimace. “Worth it,” he said, his voice a little strained. He pried his eyes open as the pain subsided. “So, you forgive me?”

“For taking a punch?”

“For being an idiot.”

I grinned, “Yes, I forgive you. Some things just can’t be helped.” I giggled when he gave me a grimace and a raised eyebrow that spoke without words, “Really?” “You’re not an idiot, Sean. Far from it.”

“My nose would disagree with you,” he said as he picked up the peas and reapplied them to his already bruising nose.

“I’m sorry, too, you know,” I said softly.

Sean frowned but kept his head leaning back. “For what?”

“Well, for not telling dad earlier, for even starting to get mad at you, but I’m sorry you and dad aren’t…aren’t friends anymore because of me,” I finished, fighting another round of fresh tears.

“Oh, I’ve pissed him off before and he’s gotten over it. Granted I’ve never pissed him off this much…never thought he’d actually haul off and hit me.” He shrugged, “We’ll either work it out or we won’t.” I peered at me from beneath the plastic bag, “I meant what I said, though. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. If he can’t accept us, it’ll suck…it’ll suck a lot…but you mean everything to me.”

“Me, too,” I whispered. “I’m scared though. What if mom can’t calm him down? What...what am I gonna do?”

Sean got that look on his face, the one he gets when he’s working something out. After a minute he started his answer, “Well, we let your mom work on him first. He’s been nuts about her since the day they met – he’ll listen to her...eventually. Even if she can’t get him to change his mind right away, she’s gotta let you in to get your stuff.” He paused, letting the words sink in. When I nodded for him to go on, he continued. “You start back up at school in, what, a week or so? So you go back, get back to work getting your degree, being all smart and studious like you always have been,” he said with a grin. “And...you know you’re always welcome to stay here.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, though I’m not sure why what he’d said surprised me. “Sean...are you asking me to move in with you?”

“That kinda goes along with getting married, doesn’t it? I mean, you’d be moving in eventually anyway. We’re just jump starting the process.”

My heart fluttered and a smile stretched across my face. “Oh my god! Oh, I wish I could kiss you right now.”

Sean moved so he was lying flat on his back, switched so his right hand was holding the peas on his nose and his left arm was stretched along the back of the couch. “C’mere.” I crawled up to him, moving as carefully as I could, and lowered myself so I was partially laying on him, my head resting in the crook of his neck. His arm slid around me, across my back, until his hand landed just above my left hip. We relaxed against each other, my left arm draped over his strong chest. He pressed a small kiss to the top of my head, and I felt him wince again, but stayed still, not wanting to risk hurting him.

We lay there together for a long time, not sleeping, not talking much, just being with each other. His fingertips trailed delicate designs along the small of my back, and every so often I would press a kiss along his neck or his jaw, but there was nothing sexual about it. It was just us comforting each other, and I couldn’t think of anything more romantic.

I reluctantly pulled myself away from him and went to the kitchen to make an early dinner. I whipped up a quick batch of grilled cheese and tomato soup, figuring we could both do with a little comfort food.

The rest of the night passed relatively smoothly. We went to bed decently early, my head on his chest, his arms around me. Through the course of the night, we ended up spooning, Sean curled around my back, his arm draped across my stomach.

I turned carefully to face him, and my heart broke for him. His nose was seriously bruised, with dark circles forming under his eyes. I wanted to kiss him so badly, kiss the bruises away, but knew that would cause him more pain than it’d be worth. Instead I crawled out of bed, got dressed right away, and set to getting breakfast going for the both of us.

I returned to Sean’s bedroom and gently nudged him awake. He blinked his eyes open, and he just looked so adorable in his barely conscious state; I couldn’t help but giggle. “Morning, sleepy head.” Sean groaned in response, struggling to sit up and holding his head. “Headache?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he croaked out.

I smiled at him, “I’ll get you some more aspirin, and we should probably change out your gauze. Come on out to the kitchen when you’re ready. Breakfast is on the table.” I tried speaking softly, hoping my low volume wouldn’t antagonize his headache any. Sean eventually joined me in the kitchen, and we took our usual spots at the table. We started eating, still not saying much to each other, but the silence was far from awkward. Finally, I spoke. “So…I need to go,” I started.

Sean’s head snapped up, causing him to frown and groan at the rush of pain from the sudden movement. “Oh…baby,” I cooed. “You okay?” He nodded slightly, his eyes still clenched shut. I wasn’t convinced. “You are on bed rest today. Just take it easy. I need to run to the store, grab some things, and…I need to go home. I’ve been wearing these two outfits for the past three...four days.”

He looked up at me, a mix of emotions flashing across his face. He looked relieved, anxious, angry and yet incredibly loving all at once. “You’re not buying me food,” he finally declared adamantly, getting up from the table. He disappeared into his room and returned a minute later with some folded bills in his hand. He stuffed the money into my hand; I knew there was no negotiating and stuffed it into my front pocket. “I’m not thrilled about you going home all alone.”

I gave Sean a sympathetic smile. “Baby, they’re my parents. They may be mad at me, but I’m going to have to talk to them eventually. Besides,” I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, “more than likely, they’re both at work. We can’t all be lucky enough to work from home.” I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

He sighed heavily. “At least let me dig you out of the driveway,” he mumbled, his head hanging low, already knowing my response.

“Absolutely not,” I said vehemently. “I’m more than capable of using a snow shovel and ice scraper, and you are in no condition to be doing anything strenuous like that.” I gently laid my hands along the sides of his face. “Let me take care of you, okay? That’s what this is all about, right? Us taking care of each other?” Sean nodded his head dejectedly, his face a pouty grimace. “I’ll be back soon, I promise. You sit back and relax, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he grumbled.

“Hey,” I guided his face to look me in the eye. “I love you, so so much.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered. “Be careful, okay? On the ice and…when you’re out.”

I grinned up at him, “I will, baby.” I kissed him gently on the lips. He flinched at even the slight contact. I touched his cheek gently, my thumb landing next to his nose. “Keep ice on that. It looks like it’s starting to swell.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “Quit nagging me and get going so you can get back.”

“Yes, dear.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summer of Learning – Chapter 14**

It seemed to take forever to carve enough of a path down the driveway for my car to get out. I was using muscles I hadn’t used in...well, I’m not sure I’d ever used them…and was definitely feeling it. Little by little, I shoveled my way down the driveway to the street, promising myself that when I grew up, I was buying a snow blower. The sun was doing its best to try and raise the temperature, but the cold, piercing wind had other ideas. I knew if I went back inside, I’d never want to come back out again, so I buckled down and chiseled my way into my car to get out my ice scraper. I started the engine and let the car warm up from the inside, hoping it would help make my job a little easier. After sitting out in the cold for the past couple days, I was overjoyed when the motor started so I wouldn’t have to try and jump it.

After a good twenty minutes of just scraping away the layers of ice and snow covering my car, I finally had enough of my windows cleared to where I felt safe enough to drive. I sat in the warmth of my car for a minute, catching my breath and letting my fingers thaw as I mentally went over everything I would need to do while I was out and about.

I decided to stop by my parents’ house first. A fresh batch of tears threatened to fall at the thought, but I fought them back. I needed to go to the pharmacy and get some better supplies for Sean’s nose, and the grocery store for meals for the foreseeable future. I had about a week before school started up again for the semester, so I’d probably be making another trip to the store before then. Still, I wanted to make sure Sean and I were well stocked in case the weather turned crappy again.

I drove carefully through the streets, some still not cleared of the ice and snow, and pulled into my parents’ driveway. I punched in the code for the garage and rushed to my room. Even though no one was home, I didn’t want to be caught here if either of them happened to come back early. I just knew my mom would try and talk me into staying and working things out, while my dad...I just didn’t even want to think about facing him yet. It had broken my heart that he wouldn’t even listen to what either Sean or I had to say, and that his first reaction was to kick me out of the house. I had never known him to be so…cold to me. I realize this whole situation was a shock to him, especially the way he found out, and that everything would take some getting used to, but for him to make a snap decision like that still had me shaking, unsure of just how long he would hold this grudge and still upset to have seen him so angry.

I hauled out my suitcases and laundry basket and began packing as if I were leaving for school. It took quite a few trips, but eventually I got everything loaded into my car. I stopped and took a seat at the kitchen table to relax a minute, giving my already overworked muscles a break. While I sat, I thought about my mom and dad’s reactions if they were to come home and find my room basically empty again. I grabbed a notebook and pen and began to write.

            _Dad,_

_I hate that everything went down the way it did. I hated hiding my relationship with Sean from you. I know Sean hated keeping you in the dark, too. I hate the thought of hurting you like that._

_But Dad, I love Sean. We make each other happy; we take care of each other. We were planning on telling you, together and in person, because you deserve more than just a phone call, but we never found the right time, and I’m sorry for that._

_I know you’re more than upset with both of us, and I certainly don’t want to leave things the way they are now. I would love it if we could actually talk about this whole thing._

_Mom, thank you for everything you’ve said and done for me. I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of all of this._

_I love you both very much. You know how to find me._

_Morgan_

I left the note sitting on the kitchen table and left, wiping the few tears that had started to slip down my face as I zipped up my coat and left through the garage.

I made my way through town, stopping to pick up the things I needed, and finally ended up at Sean’s house...home. It felt a little strange calling it that, but the more I thought about it, the happier and more excited I became. I grabbed the bags of groceries from the passenger seat and hauled them up the walk and into the house. I decided on putting all the food away before bringing all my stuff in.

_Oh my god. I’m moving in with Sean._

I didn’t feel any kind of nervousness or anxiety or doubt. What I felt was a wave of happiness, or excitement. A wide smile spread across my face, one that I didn’t think would ever really leave. A chill went down my back and through my body, a thrill of giddiness, just thinking about it.

I realized that through my father’s decision, Sean and I would be starting our lives together. The thought saddened me momentarily, feeling a sense of loss at being kicked out of my home, but then the emotion was immediately replaced by a feeling of joy as I imagined what my life was soon to become.

The happy feeling only grew as I started putting groceries away. Sean’s comments of making myself at home in his kitchen echoed in my mind. My thoughts drifted to future meals shared between the two of us, to maybe one day having friends...or even family...come over for parties. I found where everything belonged, becoming more and more accustomed to his system of organization, and making mental notes of how I could maybe, shall we say, adapt his system to mine.

My heart fluttered and a giggle bubbled its way up as I put the last of the items away. All the tiredness from clearing the driveway, loading my car, and going shopping started to melt away. Suddenly reenergized, I put my coat back on and started emptying all my belongings from my car. Just to speed things along, I dropped everything off in Sean’s living room, creating a small pile of my clothes, laptop, and books I needed for the coming semester.

I brought in the last load, my large suitcase and bag of toiletries, set them near the pile, and plopped down on the couch, the exhaustion I’d felt before returning full force. I decided that once I got back to school, I would be taking full advantage of the student gym; I needed something to help build up my stamina.

I outwardly frowned (and mentally grinned) at that; speaking of stamina, where was Sean? I hadn’t heard nor seen him since I’d gotten back home. My frown transformed into a smile when I realized I’d just called Sean’s house ‘home’ again. I shoved myself off the couch and onto my feet and started looking for Sean. Surely he couldn’t have gone far.

I walked through the kitchen, down the hallway through the rest of the house. I went back to his bedroom, completely expecting to find him there. Maybe he had actually taken my advice and was trying to get some rest. A quick rush of panic raced through me when I found the bed empty. I checked out in the hallway again and noticed the bathroom door was standing open.

_Seriously, where the hell did he go?_

“Sean?” I called out, feeling nervous that something had happened to him while I was gone, then silly at even thinking that way. He was a grown man with a broken nose. It’s not like he had a concussion or anything serious like that. “Sean!” I called again.

“Yeah, babe,” I heard his muffled voice coming from the end of the hallway, across from the bedroom. I turned and walked back to the source of his voice. Across from the bedroom was Sean’s office. The door was closed, but it was always closed, so I hadn’t even thought to look in there. I turned the handle and poked my head into the room.

The office was lit by a floor lamp in the corner, creating a soft glow that filled the room. One wall was covered by newspaper clippings and magazine articles; I assumed they were all written by Sean. Another wall had several pictures of a luscious green landscape. On the opposite side of the room, facing the wall of photography, Sean sat at his desk, working on his laptop. There was soft classical music playing from some hidden speaker system.

“Wow,” I said as I made my way to his desk. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in here before. It’s really nice.”

“I don’t think anyone’s ever been in here before,” he responded. “It’s not exactly part of the tour.”

I froze in my track and felt my face flush. “Oh...I’m sorry. Do you want me to...”

Sean stopped my question, “No, no, it’s fine. I only mean it’s not terribly exciting. It’s just where I get my work down.” He grinned at me, “Besides, it’s not like I’ve actually ever given a tour of my home to anyone.”

I crossed over to his desk, “So, what are you working on?”

He snapped his laptop shut before I could see anything. “Nothing.”

I grinned and gave him a bemused look. “Hey, come on. What are you doing in here?”

“Just working on an article,” he explained. “I haven’t done any writing since you’ve been here, and I’ve still got a deadline.”

I scoffed at him and crossed my arms over my chest. “Well, sor-ry, mister big important author man.” I took a step toward the door.

His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist; I felt myself being pulled back toward him. I let out a surprised squeak as I fell backwards onto his lap, and settled there as he wrapped his arms came around me. “Hey. I’m not complaining,” he murmured.

I wiggled on his lap, finding a more comfortable position, and carefully wound my arms around his neck. “How ya feelin’?” I asked. The bruises along his nose made _my_ nose hurt.

Sean shrugged, “Okay. As good as can be expected, I guess. How was…everything?”

“Alright,” I sighed. “I left mom and dad a note apologizing.” I felt him stiffen beneath me. “I apologized for not telling dad sooner. I’m not sorry for him knowing about us, and not sorry for loving you.” I planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. “So, I guess we need to talk.”

His eyes grew wide, a hint of panic showing. “Now what?” he asked, his voice a mix of frustration and worry.

I grinned, “Well, if I’m moving in, where am I gonna put my stuff? Not that I have a ton…”

All the anxiety melted away from his face, replaced entirely with a look of absolute joy. “So we’re really doin’ this, huh?”

I could feel the blood drain from my face. “Uh…yeah? You…you said…” I was at a loss for words. What was he playing at?

“Hey, hey…sorry, that came out wrong. I’m more than excited for you to move in with me,” he said softly, his hand coming up to rest along my jaw, his thumb tracing over the apple of my cheek. “I just meant…I dunno…this is all new for me, too, ya know? I’ve never even had a roommate before, so it’s all just kinda…wow!” He held my gaze for a moment before continuing, “Doesn’t mean I’m not excited about it. It’ll just take a little getting used to is all.”

“Okay,” I said uncertainly, feeling suddenly stupid for hauling all my stuff over here and getting so excited so readily. I withdrew my arms from around him and placed my hands in my lap, my fingers fidgeting against each other. “If…if you’ve changed your mind…” my voice started to shake.

“Morgan,” Sean said with determination before lifting me from his lap and seating me on his desk. I was about to reprimand him for exerting himself with his injury, not wanting his blood pressure to go up or to cause him more discomfort. He took both my hands in his and rested the backs of his hands on my thighs. “Look at me,” he commanded, and I was helpless to do otherwise. “I love you. I want you here with me. I want to marry you. Nothing in this world is going to change any of those three things. All I meant was that this is a big step for both of us, but that doesn’t mean I’m not excited to take it with you.”

A smile slowly stretched across my face as I looked up at him shyly. “Really?” I breathed.

He squeezed my hands before running his fingers up my arms and cupping my face once again. He scooted closer so my calves were touching the arms of his office chair and his chest was between my knees. He guided me to meet his lips, and we kissed, softly and carefully, always mindful of his bandaged nose. It seemed like forever since the last time we really kissed like this, even though it had only been a day.

I felt his tongue tease my bottom lip, and I opened to him, relishing the taste of him. He scooted a little closer, trying to deepen the kiss, but then shot backward and hissed in pain as our noses brushed together.

“Oh, Sean, you poor baby,” I cooed, trying to hold back a giggle. “Come on,” I planted my feet on the armrests of his chair and pushed him backward then hopped down from his desk. I offered my hands to help him to his feet. “Let’s change your gauze and get a better kind of cast on your nose. I stopped at the pharmacy and got you all set up.” I held his hand and led him to the bathroom.

I closed the lid of the toilet and instructed him to sit down and began treating his nose. “When we’re done, I’ll get you some more aspirin for pain, then I’ll make a little something to tide us over before dinner.”

His hands closed over mine, stopping me from what I was doing. “I love you so much,” he whispered, his voice and his eyes matching in sincerity.

I smiled at him, “I love you, too, baby.” He grinned back. “What brought this on?”

“You take such good care of me. I don’t know what the hell I was doing before you.” His eyes danced between mine. “You are just so wonderful to me.”

I blushed a little at his compliments. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, you know,” I winked at him and carefully applied the cast to his nose and taped it in place. “There. That should at least help protect you from any more bumps. Still, we need to keep taking it easy.”

“Taking it easy with you is not exactly what I had in mind,” he murmured as he slid his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

“Sean…” I warned. “My orders still stand – no strenuous activity for you, at least until the swelling goes down.”

“It’d be worth it,” he smirked up at me.

I rolled my eyes, “I’m sure it would be, but your health comes first.” I pulled his hands away from my lower back and held them, hanging between us. “Come on,” I said, “I’ll make us a sandwich or something and get you that aspirin.”

The rest of the day went by smoothly and uneventful. After a late lunch, we found room for my clothes, even knowing I’d be packing it all up in a week to head back to school. Still, it felt good to have a home, a place I knew I belonged; my heart danced in my chest as Sean made room for me in his house. I was more than giddy with excitement. When we had everything put away, he told me to make myself at home, that he had to get back to working on his article, which was due at the beginning of next week. I was a little bummed that I couldn’t just spend the day with him; the last several days had spoiled me in that regard. He justified it by reminding me that the sooner he finished, the more free time he would have before I had to leave to school.

I pulled out a couple of my textbooks for the classes I’d be starting next week and began thumbing through them. I found myself thoroughly ensconced in my psychology book before glancing at the clock and realizing it was time to start making dinner. I kept things simple, just chicken, rice and some mixed veggies, and set the table. Once everything was prepared, I walked down the hall and ventured into Sean’s room again.

“Baby? Dinner’s ready.”

“Alright, hon, be there in a minute.”

I giggled at just how normal it all felt already. He glanced up and grinned at me before returning to his work. I wondered if he felt the same way.

While we were eating, my phone chimed in my pocket, telling me I had a new text message. Without even thinking about it, I pulled my phone out and looked at the screen, then looked sheepishly up at him. “Sorry. Force of habit. It can wait.”

Sean shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. What’s up?” he asked, gesturing to the phone still in my hand.

“It’s mom,” my voice had grown quiet. “She says she loves me, too.” I breathed heavily as I fought the tears that threatened to fall. “Just her. Not ‘we.’” I looked up at Sean. “He probably really hates me, doesn’t he?”

“No, sweetheart,” he said softly as his hand covered mine, his thumb dragging across my knuckles. “He loves you, you know he does. He’s just…having a period of adjustment.” I looked up at him; he looked blurry through my watery eyes. “Now me…he probably hates me.” Even through my tears I could see how upset he was, even if he was trying to hide it.

“I’m sorry, Sean. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said unwaveringly. “You are worth it. He’ll come around after a while. He’s a stubborn son of a bitch, but he always caves eventually.” He grinned a little, “No offense to your grandmother.”

I giggled then sniffled back my tears. “Thanks, Sean.” I squeezed his hand. “It’s gonna be okay, right?”

“Yeah,” his voice softened. “It’ll take a little bit, but everything will smooth over. Promise. And hey,” he added, drawing me back to look into his eyes, “even if it doesn’t, your mom loves you, and you’ve got me, for what that’s worth.”

I half-smiled at him. “It’s worth everything.”

****************

Later that night, as we both got in bed, he held me close against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. His hand was trailing up and down my side, his palm warming my skin from the inside and out. I gasped when I felt him cup my ass. “Sean, what do you think you’re doing?”

“What?” he asked with mock innocence, his hand not moving from its new resting spot. “I can’t grab my fiancée’s cute little ass?”

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “I know what you’re _doing_ ,” I replied. “What I meant was, you are in no condition to start something you can’t finish.”

“Oh, I think I can finish you off just fine,” he murmured as his hand travelled up to my waist and found its way under the elastic of my panties. Next thing I knew, his fingers were caressing the soft nest of curls between my thighs. I sighed as his middle finger parted my lower lips; we were both astonished at how wet I was for him after so little stimulation. It was like this man had a direct line to my libido; just the slightest touch had me trembling for him.

“Take your panties off,” he quietly commanded. I rolled onto my back and pushed my hips up off the bed. I wiggled out of my underwear, and Sean immediately returned his finger to where it had left off. I instinctively bucked my hips up against his hand, seeking contact where I needed him the most.

“I wanna make you feel so good, sweetheart.” His finger slowly slid into my core, curving upwards toward that magical spot within my inner walls. I moaned against him, but couldn’t dare to kiss him like I wanted. He had me writhing in ecstasy already, and I didn’t want to cause him any pain in the heat of the moment. Instead I held fast to the comforter with one hand, the other hand gripping the pillow behind my head. He added a second finger, stretching me ever so slightly, and started rubbing his thumb around my clit.

My back arched off the bed as my head was thrown back in a loud moan. “Oh my God, Sean…oh, please, baby.” I squeezed my eyes shut and let the sensation wash over me, focusing on the delicious patterns his thumb was creating.

“I love when you call me baby,” he growled as I felt him shift his weight on top of me. “Come on, Morgan. Cum for me.” It became a mantra for him, his command repeating over and over until pleasure flooded all my senses. I tensed up and let out a long, throaty groan of release; I could feel myself clenching around his thick fingers. “Good girl,” he whispered and withdrew his fingers from me, bring them to his mouth to clean them off. “I love the way you taste.”

As soon as I caught my breath, I all but purred, “Thank you…what was that for?”

“You’ve been taking care of me all day. Just thought I’d return the favor,” he said with a smirk.

I reached down to his crotch and found him stiff with arousal. “Looks like I still get to take care of you after all,” I murmured with a wicked grin. I crawled onto my knees beside him and started tugging on his pajama bottoms and boxers; he lifted his hips to help me slide them off. Once I had gotten them down far enough, his cock sprang free, standing proudly, pointing toward the ceiling. I wrapped my hand around his length and stroked him, slowly at first, until I felt him thrusting his hips up toward my hand. I took my hand away and giggled at his groan of disappointment. “Don’t worry baby. I’ve got you.”

I swung my leg over his hips and eased myself onto him, relishing the feeling of fullness of possession, both his and mine. I quickly took off my night shirt; my nipples hardened at the loss of warmth the garment provided. Sean’s hands immediately came up to my hips. “Oh, shit, Morgan. God dammit you feel so good…mmm…so tight, and hot and wet…and mine.” His hands guided me to set a pace that would work for him, showing me just what angle he needed. I followed his lead and then dropped one hand to play with my still-sensitive clit, the other sneaking up to play with my breasts.

“Do you have any idea how sexy you are?” Sean asked as he pulled me down forcefully for my hips to meet his, eliciting a sharp, hoarse groan from me as he reached depths seemingly unexplored by him before. I cried out as he bottomed out inside me again and again; I swear each time the head of his cock was hitting the entrance to my womb.

Our movements came easily, naturally, as if we were especially made to fit together so intimately. I was convinced there was nothing I would ever find in this world as fulfilling as having Sean like this, so close in every way that mattered. It wasn’t just physical; I could feel him all the way in my soul. “Oh, baby…I love you so much. Ah! I wish I could kiss you right now.”

My fingers made fast, furious circles around my clit, which was slowly coming back to life after Sean’s ministrations to it. I ground and swiveled my hips harder against him, causing his dick to glide against me in just the right spot. My other hand was busy kneading my own breast, pinching my nipple. “Sean…I’m gonna cum, baby…oh…” I couldn’t hold myself upright anymore. My hand left my breast to brace myself on Sean’s strong chest. I could still feel him pumping up into me as I leaned over, thrusting into me at a new angle and causing all kinds of thrilling sensations to run up and down my spine. Finally I found my second release, clenching tightly around him; my nails dug into his skin as my orgasm took hold and I called out his name.

“Shit, Morgan. Oh, shit!” he called out. His thrusts were becoming more erratic and I knew I had to make a quick decision. As much as I wanted to feel him cum inside me, I shoved myself off of him, grinning at his whine of frustration.

I crawled backwards, straddling his legs, until his dick was standing mere inches from my face. “I told you, don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of you.” I kissed the head of his cock and tentatively took him into my mouth, tasting myself on him. There was something unexpectedly erotic about having my own juices coating his dick and now wetting my lips. I bobbed my head, setting my own pace, but then remembered how good it felt for him to grab my hips as I rode him, for him to take control like that and use me the way he needed. I reached out on the bedspread, fumbling around for his hand. When I finally found him, I brought his hand to rest on the back of my head, hoping he’d understand what I wanted.

I felt his other hand join the first one, his fingers threading through my hair, and then felt just the slightest amount of pressure, as if he didn’t want to push me too hard. After a quick moment of going slow, Sean apparently began to lose patience, and increased the pace, slipping further and further into my mouth. I moved my hand from his thigh to caress his balls and moaned as I felt them constrict just slightly. His grip in my hair tightened as he started moaning, “Oh, fuck yes…Morgan…aaahhhh…” He exploded in my mouth, his cum shooting down my throat. I swallowed every drop, still bobbing my head to milk all I could from him. I felt him begin to soften in my mouth and finally released him. I kissed my way up his torso, crawling back up the bed to lay down beside him, nestling up against his warm body, my arm draped across his chest, and one leg resting on top of his. I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek, and marveled as our pulses evened out together.

“I thought you said no strenuous activity,” he mumbled as his fingertips traced tantalizing patterns along my back. I could feel myself relax even more against him, the first tendrils of sleep starting to pull me under.

“Mmm…I know, but you’ve been such a good patient.” I lazily ran my fingers through his coarse chest hair. “Besides,” I teased, “it’s not like you did a _ton_ of work.”

I shrieked when he smacked my bare ass. “Smart ass,” he mumbled through his grin. I giggled and snuggled closer to him.

“Yeah, but you love me”

“With all my heart,” he whispered. I felt my pulse quicken at his words and I pressed a kiss over his heart. “G’night, sweetheart.”

I smiled against him, “Good night, baby.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summer of Learning – Chapter 15**

My last week of winter break flew by. Sean and I made the best of it, easily falling into a comfortable routine despite the knowledge that every day that passed brought us closer to my having to leave him to go back to school, and that we wouldn’t be seeing each other in person again for a long time. The closer the weekend got, the more I began to doubt my decision to stay at that school, but Sean was always quick to quash those feelings. I argued that I could get my degree from any school, that any credits I had earned already would transfer, but he would insist that I should stay at my dream school, that we’d be able to make everything work out okay, not to mention that I’d be giving up my scholarship. I knew I could always take out student loans if I were to transfer schools, but Sean had a good point...in fact he had several good points. I’d admit that he was right, and he’d pull me into his arms, both of us still mindful of his nose and kiss me tenderly and promise over and over that it was just temporary, and that he wasn’t going anywhere.

The Saturday before classes were to restart, Sean suggested we go out and do something to get my mind off leaving. I protested at first, wanting to just stay in with him all day, getting in as much time alone with him as I could, but he insisted. His nose was basically completely healed, and he joked about being able to show it off in public again. He drove me out to the mall, and we walked around, hand in hand. We went in and out of several stores, him being overly silly still trying to keep me from worrying about the coming months away from him, before he pulled me into a jewelry store.

My heart skipped several beats as he directed me toward the case with all the engagement rings on display. I blinked up at him and smiled widely, hardly believing what was happening. “You said you wanted a ring, right?” he asked with a grin and made a sweeping motion with his hand over the glass. I looked back at the sparkling diamonds in front of me, hardly noticing the saleswoman approach.

“Can I help you?” she asked cheerily.

“Just looking for now,” Sean replied. “Do you have a sizer handy?”

She reached back to the counter behind her and produced a key ring full of loops of all different sizes. Sean took my hand and began trying the loops on my ring finger until we found one that was comfortable. “Size eight,” I commented, “Just like my shoes.”

“Do you and your mother wear the same size?” the saleswoman asked.

I looked at her confusedly for a moment, “I...I don’t know.” I looked at Sean, wondering if he knew why she’d asked.

“Well, if you aren’t sure what size ring she wears, perhaps I could show you our line of bracelets. We’ve got a great special on charms for the next few weeks, just in time to order for Valentine’s Day,” she continued her pitch.

“Why would you think we’re shopping for my mother?” curiosity got the better of me.

It was the woman’s turn to look confused, and she stammered out her response, “Well, I see you two together, and just assumed that you brought your daughter along for advice for a gift for your wife.”

“My daught...” Sean almost shouted back. “You think she’s...oh, Jesus,” he closed his eyes and grimaced. “She’s not my daughter, she’s my fiancée,” he explained through gritted teeth. I could feel my face getting redder by the second with embarrassment, and tears beginning to prick the backs of my eyes.

“Oh,” she replied, sounding absolutely stunned. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have...”

“You’re right,” he cut her off, clearly upset, “You shouldn’t have. Let’s go, Morgan.” He placed his hand on my back and walked me out of the store. Once we were several stores away, he pulled me to an empty bench and sat us both down. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I can’t believe she...God, I feel awful.”

One tear had managed to escape my eye and roll down my cheek as we were walking, and I quickly wiped it away. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before trying to talk. “It’s okay, Sean. It’s not your fault she’s an idiot.”

“Oh, I know that, but this was supposed to be a happy day for you, and the first store I pick and I blow it,” he reached out and took my hands in his; he rubbed my ring finger with his thumb. “You wanna try another one? Or did you get any ideas of what you wanted?”

I thought for a moment. We’d probably end up in the same situation, no matter what store we went to. I shook my head and answered, “I think I just want something simple. I don’t do a lot of jewelry...well, except this.” I pulled the sunburst necklace from its place on my chest and let it dangle a little from my finger. “I never take it off, you know.”

He grinned and leaned in to whisper in my ear, “I know. There is nothing sexier than you wearing this and only this.” He traced the chain along my neck with his fingertip, causing my skin to pebble with goose bumps. He kissed me on the cheek, then on the neck, making me squirm a little in my seat, my mood instantly lightening. “Come on, let’s keep going. This is supposed to be a fun day.” He stood up and offered his hand to me, pulling me off the bench. We spent a while in a candle store, sniffing all the different scents until we were dizzy. I picked out a few for my dorm room, and blushed again as Sean took the bag before I could, carrying it for me.

Next we went into the Spencer’s, and ended up spending quite a bit of time in there laughing at all the gag gifts and heavy innuendos on the collection of T-shirts and posters and magnets. When I thought we had seen just about everything they had to offer, Sean took my hand and led me toward the back of the store, where all the sex toys were kept. I felt my blush returning full force as I gaped at the wall of toys in front of me. I looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow, and tried to keep my cool.

Sean leaned over a little to murmur in my ear, “I just thought maybe you’d want something to keep you company on lonely nights.”

“I don’t really need a toy to get myself off, you know. I do have my own ways and means,” I said.

He nodded appreciatively, “True, and you seem quite skilled at using those ways and means. But have you ever tried the,” he grabbed a package from the display on the wall, “Extreme Passion Pink Rabbit vibrator?” He held it out like a model on The Price is Right, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“What would you do if I said yes?”

“I’d be impressed,” he answered without hesitation, then added, “and curious as to where you keep it. I don’t remember unpacking anything like that when you moved your things in.”

I took a step closer to him and murmured, “Well, maybe I left it at school because I knew I’d have the real thing once I got down here.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me, “That’s awfully presumptuous of you. What if things hadn’t gone the way they did?”

I shrugged, turning back to the variety of toys on display, “Then I don’t think I’d have been in much of a mood to play with it, anyway.” I sneaked a glance up at him, “No, I haven’t tried that one...or any of these. I usually avoid this corner of the store like the plague.”

He replaced the pink toy on the wall, “I kind of guessed. So...does anything look...interesting? Any questions?”

“Oh, are you an expert in sex toys, now?” I teased.

“Nope, just an expert in pleasing you.”

I blushed at his retort. “What about this?” I reached up and took a long narrow tube in my hands. “Clone-a-Jimmy,” I read off the packaging. “Apparently I can make a life sized model of…you.” A sudden rush of boldness came over me and I leaned close to him, murmuring in his ear, “So the only thing that will ever be inside me is you,” and grazed my hand against his crotch. I giggled when he jumped back at the contact, and if I wasn’t mistaken, saw the blush crossing his cheeks.

“Jesus, girl,” he whispered. “No fair playing dirty in public like that.”

I looked him straight in the eye and said in a completely deadpan voice, “Movie…theater.”

Sean blinked then held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. Still, that was a dark movie theater and…you can hide things better than I can.” He raised an eyebrow and nodded downward.

When I looked, there was the beginnings of a noticeable bulge in the front of his pants. I smirked up at him then placed a kiss on his cheek. “Down, boy,” I breathed, then started to walk toward the cashier, leaving Sean to get control of himself. “Come on, I’m getting kind of hungry.”

It was about half past noon when we wandered into the food court. Every line at the counters were several people deep, so we decided to head over to one of the actual restaurants in the mall, so at least we could sit down while we waited for our food. It turned out to be pretty crowded, too. I could feel my frustration building when Sean said, “Looks like we’ll have to wait a while for a seat here, too. Wonder if that lady would let us join her.”

I peered up at him, giving him a weird look. _Why would he even suggest that?_ I followed to where he was pointing and, sure enough, saw a blonde woman sitting alone at a table for four. I watched as a waiter came up to her and she turned to answer his question and my breath caught in my throat.

“Mom?”

I looked back up at Sean, completely astonished. Had he planned this whole thing? The cheeky grin plastered on his face gave me my answer. “Oh my god,” I whispered and hugged him tightly before making my way through the other tables until I reached her. I couldn’t believe it – after not seeing her and hardly talking to her since the day my father found out about Sean and me, here she was in front of me. Words completely failed me as I approached her, and I surprised her with a hug.

I felt my mother’s laugh as she hugged me back. “Hi sweetheart,” she said happily. “God, I’ve missed you.” She released me and looked over my shoulder to see Sean coming up behind me. “Hi, Sean.”

“Hey, Em,” he responded as I took a seat next to my mom. “You two ladies enjoy. I’ll see you later.”

I frowned up at him, “You aren’t staying?”

Sean grinned and shook his head, “Nah. You need some girl time. Have fun.” He bent to kiss my cheek, “Love you.”

“I love you, too,” I said, overwhelmed by such a simple gesture. He walked away, carrying our purchases with him. I was flooded with gratitude for the man, not only for setting up a lunch date with my mom, but for taking the “Clone-a-Jimmy” with him. He really did think of everything.

The waiter came by to take our orders, and mom and I fell into an easy conversation. “His nose looks good. You did a nice job with it. Maybe you should go into medicine instead of…”

“Don’t start,” I cut her off. “I about threw up after I had reset his nose. All that blood and that sound…guh,” I shuddered at the memory. “No, I think marketing is much more my speed.”

My mom smiled at me, “Alright, but I think you’ve got a natural talent for it.” I rolled my eyes and she laughed. “So, everything still okay with you two?”

I nodded, “Things are really good. We…we tried to go ring shopping today,” my voice trailed off as my mother’s expression went from happy to concerned.

“You two are really serious about this, huh?” she questioned.

“Yeah, we really are,” I tried to keep from sounding challenging. “But we aren’t planning to actually get married until I graduate.”

Mom nodded approvingly, “That’s good to hear.” She paused a moment before continuing, “You realize hearing that kind of news over the phone was quite a shock.”

I dropped my chin a little, “I know. I wanted to tell you in person, I really did. I told Sean I really wanted him to talk to the both of you first and get a ring and everything, but with dad surprising us…it didn’t really turn out that way.”

“Are you sure about this, Morgan? You two haven’t been together very long.”

“You’re right. We haven’t been a couple very long, but we’ve known each other all my life. And I love him, mom. I love him so much, and he loves me back. He makes me really happy, and we take care of each other,” I said simply.

She placed her hand over mine, “I know, sweetie. It’s obvious he’s crazy about you, too. I just…I want to make sure you’ve really thought about this.”

I met her gaze full on, “I have, mom. _We_ have. We’ve talked about this, round and round, and we’re sure. This is what we both want.”

Mom looked at me another silent moment before speaking again. “My baby’s getting married,” she said softly, her warm smile contradicting the tears forming in her bright blue eyes as she leaned in for a hug.

“Aw, mom, don’t cry! You cry, I cry,” I let her wrap her arms around me as best as she could with the corner of the table in the way. “It’ll be okay, mom. You’ll see.”

She sat back in her chair and blinked back any remaining tears. “I know it will be. I just worry.” She fluttered her fingers, waving away the heavy topic, “So…you’re all set for school?”

Our conversation covered all kinds of topics, even dad and how he was dealing with all that was going on with me and Sean. Apparently he was still firmly against the idea, but he did know that mom was here with me today, so it’s not like she had to sneak out of the house or anything. She said he was practically silent for a day or so, hardly speaking to her until she confronted him and forced him to talk. “He was really hurt, Morgan. He still is, really. He thought his relationships with you and with Sean were a lot better than the way you treated him.”

I felt tears pricking my eyes again, “I know. We really were planning on telling him, but we wanted it to be face to face, and with me being snowed in at Sean’s house…”

“And before that? There’s a whole week that went by between my finding out and his finding out,” mom looked pointedly at me.

“You’re right,” I acquiesced. “There’s no excuse for waiting so long. I was nervous at how he would react, but I should have said something anyway.” I thought a moment before asking, “Do you think he’ll ever talk to me again?”

“I’m sure he will,” she said, patting the back of my hand. “It’s just going to take him some time. He’ll get there.”

Once we finished our meal, mom treated me to a mani-pedi, insisting on a girls’ day out before I headed back up for school. We spent the day just hanging out, both of us realizing just how much we’d missed each other. She dropped me off at Sean’s house, and we said our tearful goodbyes, hugging over the front console of her car. “I love you, Morgan. Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will, mom. I love you, too,” I murmured into her shoulder. I kissed her cheek and turned to open my door.

“Morgan,” she waited for me to turn back around. “You know how stubborn your father is. You may have to be the one to take the first step. Just…putting that out there.”

I nodded, “Okay. Thanks, mom…for everything.”

I crawled out of her car and rushed down the pathway to Sean’s front door. Once inside, I hung up my jacket in the hall closet. I turned and saw an adorable brown teddy bear sitting next to a vase holding a single red rose. I couldn’t hold back the “Aww,” that bubbled up as I picked up the bear and hugged him close. I got a whiff of Sean’s cologne and turned to look for him, but I was still standing alone in the front room. I held the bear up to my nose and inhaled…then smiled widely. He had sprayed his cologne into the fur, so every time I hugged the bear, I’d smell him. I picked up the vase and brought the bloom to my nose, breathing in its sweet scent, then walked dazedly toward the rest of the house. I crossed into the kitchen and stopped in my tracks, almost dropping the vase on the floor.

The kitchen table had been set for a candlelight dinner. Sean was sitting and waiting for me; he had changed into my favorite sweater of his. “Hi,” I said breathily. “You cooked?” There was a delicious garlicky aroma filling the kitchen.

“Yes, I cooked,” he said with false anger. “I did have to feed myself before you came along, you know.” Just by that, a timer went off, and Sean hopped out of his chair to silence it and pull dinner from the oven. He stood in such a way that I couldn’t see what he had made, especially not in the dim, flickering light. I sat at my place at the table, setting my bear and rose off to the side, and waited.

When Sean presented my plate to me with all the flair of a fancy restaurant waiter, I had to laugh out loud. In front of me was a large slice of pizza, a cheesy breadstick, and a heaping portion of Caesar salad. “Thank you, baby. It looks great.” He grinned as he pulled out two bottles of beer and poured them into pint glasses before sitting down.

“Okay, so I didn’t exactly cook,” he admitted, “but I wanted to make you dinner for your last night home.” The word home resonated through me, and smiled widely. Sean raised his glass, and I followed suit. “To the next five months, may they be productive and speedy,” he toasted, and we clinked our glasses together before drinking.

As we ate, I told him about my day with my mom, thanking him again for the surprise. I asked him how he had spent his day, but he only gave a vague answer, something about running errands and working from home. I let the issue drop, but couldn’t help but wonder just what errands he’d had to run. As far as I knew, he paid all his bills online and we had just gone grocery shopping the other day. I didn’t want to spend our evening grilling him, so I resolved to just let it go. Maybe it was something about his work and didn’t want to bore me with the details, not that I’d be bored anyway. If it was really important, he’d tell me, right?

When we had finished eating and Sean had cleared our places, he held his hand out to me to help me out of my chair then led me back to the bedroom…our bedroom, I reminded myself. A wave of giddiness washed over me and I wondered if that feeling would ever fade. In the room were more candles, bathing the room in a warm and soft light. A new surge of emotions flooded through me, leaving me giddy for an entirely different reason. He guided me over to the bed, but before we sat down, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me tenderly.

“I love you so much, Morgan,” he whispered against my lips. “I don’t want to let you go.”

I smiled sadly, “I know, baby. I don’t want to go, but I need to. I hate leaving you, I really do.” I could feel my lower lip starting to tremble and hot tears started rolling down my cheeks.

“Hey, hey,” Sean said soothingly, kissing my tears away then pulling me close. His voice reverberated through me, “It’s okay. I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just be a phone call away. We’ll be able to Skype every night if you want to.” I nodded against his chest, trying to control my sobbing. “Come on, hon, you’re getting all worked up.” He turned me to face away from him and brought his hands to my shoulders, his thumbs working the muscles there. “You’re too tense, sweetheart.”

“Is this some kind bad joke?” I asked with a smirk as I allowed him to move me to where he wanted me.

He took his hands off my shoulders and answered, sounding insulted, “One, I don’t do bad jokes. Two, what the hell are you talking about?”

I looked over my shoulder. “You know, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam. Relax, you’re two tents.”

It was a quiet moment before he laughed at the sad attempt at humor. “You’re right. That is pretty bad. No, I mean your shoulders are all tight.” He paused as he started to unravel the knots he found. “Hmm...if only I knew of a way to get you nice and relaxed.” His strong fingers worked their way over my shoulder blades and down my spine before teasing the hemline of my shirt. I could hear his grin, “This looks awfully constricting. We’d better get it off you.”

“Sean,” I chided him, but not putting any real feeling into it.

“What?” he asked innocently, not stopping his recent task to remove my shirt. “I just want you to be comfortable.” I raised my arms over my head with an exaggerated sigh and let him undress me. “This should probably go, too,” he murmured as he placed kisses along my shoulder and his fingers found the clasp of my bra, unfastening it without any further warning. I gasped as the elastic retracted, admittedly feeling a sense of relief as my breasts were no longer restrained.

His hands were on the move again, trailing over my back to my hips, meeting over my belly button. I had thought he would reach up to cup my breasts, but instead, he just held me, surrounding me with his strength, his warmth, his love. I let myself lean against his warm body. The soft fabric of his sweater, along with the comforting warmth of his arms around me, felt heavenly and I melted back into him. Sean hugged me tightly from behind. My breath caught in my throat when his long, nimble fingers found the button of my jeans, popping it out of the button hole.

“Sean,” I warned him half-heartedly.

“Even you can’t tell me you’re more comfortable in a pair of skinny jeans than out of them,” he responded, murmuring into my ear. His low voice sent a chill down my spine and caused my nipples to harden. He lowered my zipper, and even though he’d seen me naked several times, there was something incredibly erotic about him standing, even still fully clothed, behind me. He hooked his thumbs into my belt loops and started sliding my pants over my hips and down my legs. Once they were in a pile around my ankles, I felt Sean holding me still, one hand on my hip, the other guiding my foot out of the leg of my pants. After he’d helped me step out of them, he slid my panties to the floor to join them.

I wanted, needed, him to touch me, everywhere and all at once. I tried stepping back into him, seeking that bodily contact, but he stepped back with me, keeping us apart. Thankfully, he placed his hands on my hips, but still kept me at arm’s length. In fact, he started pushing, guiding me towards the bed. I tried to turn myself around to face him again and sit on the bed, but Sean wouldn’t allow it. Instead, I followed his lead and crawled onto the mattress, glancing over my shoulder to make sure this was what he wanted.

I stopped moving when I realized he was no longer behind me. I looked around the room and found him taking something out of the top dresser drawer – a small plastic bottle. I also noticed he’d taken off his pants without my realizing it. As he made his way back over to me, he popped the top of the bottle. “Lay down, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low and husky, as he set the bottle down and pulled his sweater over his head. I started to turn myself onto my back when his warm hand landed on my hip, stopping me. “On your front,” he commanded softly. I gave him an odd look before following his instruction. Were we going _there?_ My expression must have told him what I was thinking.

“Relax,” he whispered. I felt his hand on the small of my back, then sliding along my spine until it landed between my shoulders, where I felt him press downward, gently pushing my head onto the pillows. “This will go a lot easier if you just relax.” I felt him crawl onto the bed behind me, straddling my calves as he did so.

My breath quickened. _Really? My last night home and we’re trying this?_ I was suddenly incredibly nervous. His hand came to rest on my hip, and I felt him start to maneuver me to where he wanted me. I loved Sean and trusted him implicitly, but now that I was head down, ass up on his bed and he had some mysterious bottle...well, I freaked.

“Sean, stop!” I called out. I felt him freeze behind me and I pushed myself off the mattress. “I...I don’t think I’m ready to do...that. Not yet, okay?”

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and concern. “Not ready for what?” He squeezed some of the bottle’s contents into his hand then replaced the bottle on the night stand and started rubbing his hands together. The scent of strawberries and cream filled the room. “I just wanted to give you a massage, get you good and relaxed before you head back...maybe make this a night to remember, you know?”

Oh my god. Relief and embarrassment washed over me. I could immediately feel some of the tension leave my body.

“What did you think I was doing?”

Damn. So much for unwinding. I couldn’t say the words. I just looked over my shoulder again and let my blushing face clue him in.

Understanding must have finally dawned on him, because he started laughing softly. I knew he didn’t want me to feel bad, but that feeling of naïve embarrassment was definitely taking root. “Morgan, honey, you should know, I would never do anything you weren’t absolutely ready for, especially not _that_.” His expression changed, just slightly, to something devious. “Although,” he said through his wicked grin, “that would certainly make tonight memorable.” He rubbed his hands together again and placed them on the front of my thighs and pulled them toward him, straightening my legs so I could lie down fully on the mattress. “Come on, let me make you feel good.”

Now that the pressure of the unknown was off, I could feel myself start to relax as I let him guide me into the position he wanted me. Once I was all situated, his warm and now oiled hands began rubbing all over my back, his skin gliding along mine. As his palms worked the scented oil into my back, warming the muscles there, I sighed contentedly, feeling myself start to relax already. He worked up and down my spine, applying just enough pressure to cause my muscles to melt beneath his hands, easing the tension that lay there. For a long while, he focused his ministrations on my shoulders, undoing the knots that had apparently been building there. His thumbs inched lower, tracing my spine again, until they found my lower back while his fingertips danced along my hips.

Back and forth he went, kneading my skin and muscles, eliciting sighs and moans from me as he found tender spots of tension. He worked his way upward again, allowing his fingers to trail up my sides, teasing the sides of my breasts. At first I thought it was by accident or coincidence, but he ended up working his hands under my body to cup my breasts, just momentarily, before returning to my back.

“Should I flip over so you can get my front?” I asked with a grin.

Sean chuckled, “No. I’ve got you right where I want you.”

I cocked an eyebrow, even though he probably couldn’t see my reaction. “I think I like the sound of that.”

“Of what? Doing what I say?”

“No,” I teased. “My not having to move.” I jumped as I felt a sharp slap on my ass. “Ow!” I complained. “I thought you were trying to get me to relax.”

“Oh...I’m not finished yet,” he said in a low voice. “That was just for sassing me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, sir,” I muttered.

“Ooh...I think I like _that_ ,” he admitted.

“Do you now?”

He hummed his response. “Maybe one day...” he trailed off as he continued his massage.

I felt his hands drift lower and lower, over my lower back again, over my ass and down my thighs and calves. It felt absolutely exquisite, and I let myself melt even further into the bed, humming in satisfaction. He trailed back up my legs, along my inner thighs, when I realized during the whole process, he’d surreptitiously spread my legs apart, exposing my womanhood to him. It surprised me at first, but my body quickly welcomed his touch. His nimble fingers grazed my outer lips, teasing and tempting me and I arched my back, seeking more contact.

“Ah-ah,” he mockingly scolded me. “You stay still. I told you...I’ve got you where I want you.”

I breathed in and out, slowly and deeply, my mind trying to convince my body to follow his directions. “You know, that isn’t doing much to help me relax.”

“Like I said...I’m not finished yet.” A thrill shot through me as I felt one of his fingers along the seam of my lips, just barely parting them. I hadn’t realized how wet I’d gotten until I felt his finger slide further in and he finally reached my entrance. I groaned as he entered me with one then two fingers, pushing slowly...slowly...spreading me open for him.

“Sean,” I moaned. God, I needed him. “Please.” That’s right: I was willing to beg. I’d do anything to feel him inside me right now; every second I was left empty, I could feel all the tension returning full force.

“Please what?” he asked, his voice suddenly at my ear. I felt him shift behind me until his torso was just resting on my back and his cock riding along my ass, hard and hot and demanding entrance. “Tell me, Morgan.”

“I want you,” I whispered. “Please, Sean.”

His weight shifted again as he reached down and lined himself up with the place that wept for him. Slowly he filled me from behind, letting his weight push me further into the mattress. He couldn’t get as deep as usual, and I started to push up off the bed to get on my hands and knees to improve the angle.

“No, sweetheart. Stay down,” he softly commanded, and I was helpless to refuse. While he may not reach far inside me, this angle allowed him to hit that perfect spot, over and over again. He started moving his hips to meet my ass, taking his precious time at pleasing me, though despite his slow and steady pace, I could feel my orgasm building already.

My moans grew louder and more insistent with each thrust, each movement bringing me closer to the edge. Finally and all at once, my breath caught as my pussy started clamping down on him. I grunted loudly as my orgasm washed over me. When my body had started to relax again, releasing his dick from my still clenching walls, he pulled out of me, and I groaned at the loss of that feeling of fullness.

Without warning, he grabbed my hip and quickly yet carefully flipped me over, my legs automatically spreading to welcome him inside again. He slid into me easily, not needing his hand to guide himself in at all, and began pounding into me. Sean kept most of his weight off me, holding himself up, one hand near each of my shoulders. My hands snaked up his muscular arms and over his chest, teasing his nipples, before winding over his shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. He returned the kiss, sweetly and softly, before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me infinitely close to him. I could hear him panting and grunting softly in my ear.

“Morgan...I need to...I’m not...” he looked over at the night stand and I knew what he meant. He wasn’t wearing any kind of protection, but it seemed neither of us wanted to stop now. Sean looked back at me and slowed down his pace dramatically. He pushed himself off me again and I could feel him starting to pull back, to pull out of me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him deep inside me. “Please, Sean. Please don’t stop now. You feel too good.” He only looked down at me, that thoughtful look gracing his features again. I reached up to his shoulders and neck, threading my fingers through his hair, and pulled him down to kiss me again. I whispered against his mouth, “Please. I want you to cum inside me.”

“Morgan...” he warned me, but I just shook my head.

“I know, and I don’t care. Please...I want to feel you. Please, baby.”

Another quiet moment passed before he kissed me forcefully and resumed his thrusts. In a matter of moments, his pace became more erratic. “Morgan,” he begged, but I held him close with my arms and legs.

“I want this, Sean. Please. Let go, baby.”

His body suddenly went rigid as he let out a loud, almost pained groan. I could feel his cock pulsing inside me as he found his release. It was glorious; I swear I felt his cum filling me. At the moment I didn’t care about the consequences, about all the what-ifs. I only cared about this man, still buried deep inside me, who loved me with his whole heart and body, and I definitely felt the same for him. My fingers trailed up and down his sweat-slicked back, squeezing him every so often with my inner muscles, until he finally softened enough to slip out of me. I felt some of our combined juices leak out of me, but I couldn’t be bothered to care.

I was completely sated. “I love you,” I whispered, holding him close to me, never wanting to let him go.

He braced himself up on his elbows and looked down at me. “I love you.”

I whined in complaint when he pushed himself off me and left the room, only to return with a hand towel, which he used to clean up the rapidly forming and ever-dreaded wet spot. Sean dropped the towel on the floor, and pulled the covers back, allowing me to roll over and curl underneath them. He joined me, both of us still naked. We kissed and held and worshipped each other’s bodies late into the night. Sean made slow, unhurried, perfect love to me, this time with the forethought to have a condom ready. He seemed to make it last for hours, and it very well may have been.

All I know is it took no time for me to fall asleep, wrapped in his arms, surrounded by his love, the absolute epitome of relaxation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this took so long. I certainly hope it was worth the wait. Life...what are ya gonna do, huh? Hopefully I’ll be able to get back in the swing of writing again now that things are kind of almost starting to slow down again. Thank you all for your patience and support. I love you all dearly!


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up to the smell of coffee being brewed. I stretched languidly in bed, groaning against the chill in the air as the comforter shifted, leaving me uncovered. Reluctantly, I pulled myself out of bed, not looking forward to this day at all.

It wasn’t just leaving Sean that had me dreading getting out of bed; there were other things: the five hour drive back up to school; not only having to fight for a nearby parking space once I got to school, but unloading my car and hauling everything to my dorm room; finding time to get the last of my books for the semester; readjusting to dorm life. Though I’d been living with Sean for just over a week, I had grown accustomed to just being there with him, able to lean over and hug or kiss him whenever I wanted, not to mention having a private bathroom, a bed that was gloriously comfortable, all kinds of comforts that I simply wouldn’t have once I returned to school. I could easily admit that Sean had definitely spoiled me.

On top of all that, I would be leaving home with things still left uncertain between my father and me. I missed him, missed my mom, just missed being at home (though I was more than happy with my new living arrangements). I didn’t know if I should just let him be to work it all out for himself or what I was supposed to do. I just knew that I hated this rift that had been wedged between us.

I must have been lost in my own head as I was getting dressed because I jumped a mile when Sean came up behind me and pulled me backwards into his chest, enfolding me in his arms.

My reaction must have startled him, too. “You okay?” he asked with concern.

“Fine,” I answered. “Just thinking.”

“One of the many things you’re good at.” He regarded me a moment. Apparently I was an open book for him to read. “Everything’s going to be fine, Morgan,” he said soothingly. “I know there’s a lot that’s up in the air right now, but it’ll all work itself out. You’ll see.” He punctuated his proclamation with a swift kiss. “Now come on. Let’s get you breakfast before we pack everything in your car.”

Much sooner than I would have liked, we were fitting the last of my belongings into my car. When I turned to look at him, everything around me had gone blurry. I didn’t even realize I’d started crying.

“Baby girl,” he crooned as he pulled me into his arms. “It’s okay. We’ve only got a couple weeks until you’ve got a long weekend again, and I’m always just a phone call away.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and hugged me tighter.

I sniffled against him. “Doesn’t make it suck any less, though,” I mumbled into his sweater.

His laugh rumbled through his chest and against my cheek. “I know, sweetheart.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back gently, then cupped my face in his hands, wiping my tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Come on, Morgan, you’re breaking my heart here. I can’t let you go and drive with you crying like this.”

I took a tiny step back and furiously wiped at my tears, only to have more stream down my cheeks to replace them. It took me a minute before I was able to control my shaky breaths and calm down enough to speak again. “I’m just going to miss you so much.”

Sean tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. “I know sweetheart. I’ll miss you, too, so much. Just remember it’s not forever, just a couple weeks at a time.” He kissed me sweetly and pressed his forehead to mine. “We’ll talk or Skype or Facetime or whatever you want, every day.” Another soft kiss. “And once you get going with your classes and stuff, it’ll go by so quick, you won’t even notice I’m not there.”

“I doubt that,” I said, trying to smile, then breathing deep to keep myself from crying yet again. He was right, though. I knew we’d be okay – that I’d be okay. We knew this was coming and it would suck, but we’d make it. I took one more slow breath, fighting the anxiety from rising any further, and met his eyes. He wore a sad smile, and maybe it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but I could have sworn he was tearing up (in a totally manly way, of course). I swallowed hard and nodded, “Okay.” My voice was still shaky, so I cleared my throat and tried again. “Okay,” I said, feeling more confident now. “I’ll call when I get up there.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” he promised.

I stepped forward and into his arms again, wrapping mine around his waist. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Morgan.” We stepped away from each other, both reluctant to separate. “Drive safely, okay?”

“I will.” Not able to hold back, I leaned in for one last kiss, which he returned fervently. It wasn’t as passionate as some we had shared, and it certainly didn’t feel like goodbye. It was a promise, full of hope and trust and longing, all wrapped up in one beautiful kiss. We parted for the last time, no more tears shed between the two of us, and I got into my car. “See ya,” I whispered, refusing to call this a goodbye.

Sean’s lips curled in a half-grin. “See ya,” he returned, catching onto my intent, and closed my door for me. He stood back but stayed in the driveway as I started the car and backed into the street.

The next five hours were the longest five hours of my life.

I called Sean the moment I parked my car. We didn’t talk long since I needed to grab lunch and start unloading and unpacking, and he needed to get back to writing, but it was good to hear his voice again. After hanging up with him, I dialed my home number.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other end took me completely by surprise. I had called expecting my mom to answer. Apparently dad had gotten to the phone first. “Hi, dad,” I said timidly.

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again, “Morgan.”

Oh, this was just going splendidly so far. “I just wanted to let you guys know I made it up to school okay.”

“Oh. Well...I’m...glad you’re alright.” I could almost hear his mind trying to come up with something else to say. “You wanna talk to your mom?”

I bit back my sigh. He still wasn’t ready to talk, I guess. “No, that’s okay. I’ve gotta start getting my stuff set up in my dorm room again.” I swallowed nervously and added, “It was good to talk to you again.”

Another moment before, “You, too. Take care, Morgan.”

“Bye, dad.” I just barely got the words out when I heard the phone click in my ear, indicating he’d already hung up.

So, it wasn’t exactly a heart-warming conversation, but at least it was something, right? Baby steps.

I sighed heavily and shoved my car door open and crawled out. I stretched my back and legs out before moving to the trunk and pulling out the first load of things to be returned to my room. When I opened the door and switched on the light, taking a quick glance around, I was a little disappointed that my roommate, Hailey, hadn’t returned yet. She and I had become good friends, though we had hardly talked over winter break. I was excited at the prospect of having someone to share what had happened over break with. Resigning to the task at hand, I made the several trips necessary to bring all of my things in from my car. Once my car was unpacked, I walked to the caf to grab a quick lunch. Back in my room, I turned on my iPod player, quickly ate, and got to work setting my room up again.

Once I’d made my bed and had most of my belongings put where I wanted them, I opened my suitcases and started putting all of my clothes where they belonged in my closet and drawers. I reached the bottom of the first suitcase and found an oblong box wrapped in white tissue paper.

Completely baffled as to what was inside it, I carefully tore into the paper, then cut through the tape on the cardboard box. At first, all I found was more tissue paper filling the inside, but the weight of the box in my hands told me that couldn’t be accurate. When I finally found what was hidden inside, all I could do was throw my head back and laugh.

There in my hand was a perfect replica of Sean’s Jimmy Johnson, as he so often called it, an opaque, off-white color and complete with a knob to activate the vibrating bullet inside.

I was, of course, more than grateful that Hailey hadn’t arrived yet.

Without any further delay, I stored my...gift...in the back of my underwear drawer and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” he answered, and by the tone of his voice, I knew he knew I’d found his surprise.

“You are...you are so...” I couldn’t get the words out. “I can’t believe you,” I finally finished, shaking my head.

He snorted a laugh, “What? Don’t you like it?”

How the hell was I supposed to answer that? “Sean,” I began, sighing in exasperation. “Yes, I like it,” I muttered, “but it’s not like I can use it. At least, not anytime soon.”

“I was gonna ask if you used it before calling me. Why can’t you?” He sounded incredibly hurt.

I smiled into the receiver, “Baby, I want to, believe me, but I’ve got a roommate. I don’t exactly want her in the room while I’m doing...that.”

He was quiet for a half a minute. “I get it. You don’t want her getting jealous, huh?”

His joke had me laughing right out loud. “Yeah. That’s it exactly.”

“Well,” he said, “She’s gotta leave the room sometime.” He was quiet again then added in a low, rugged voice, “Maybe I’ll just have to come up there and use it on you.”

I hummed approvingly, “Yeah, but I’d rather have the real thing.”

“You sure? I don’t vibrate.”

“True,” I agreed, “but I don’t have to replace your batteries.”

It was his turn to laugh now. “Alright, sweetheart. I need to get back to work, and don’t you need to get books for tomorrow?”

“Yes,” I grumbled, not wanting to end our conversation just yet. I debated mentioning that I had briefly spoken with my father, but decided against it. Another time. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Wild horses,” he replied. “Oh, and Morgan? You may not want to use your new favorite toy even if the lights are out.”

Alright, now he had me worried. “Why...?” I asked slowly.

“Is your roommate there now?”

“No.”

“Go ahead and get it out and turn off the lights.”

I did as he asked. “OH MY GOD, SEAN!” Sitting in my hand, appearing to float in midair, was Sean’s penis, glowing faintly in the dark. “Are you kidding me?”

He was laughing boisterously in my ear. “Have fun, sweetheart. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” I said as I flipped the lights back on and stowed away the vibrator. I don’t think I could have rolled my eyes back any further in my head if I tried. “Bye, baby.”

Shortly after I had hung up the phone, Hailey made her grand entrance into our room. She dropped her armful of bags and her laundry basket on her bed and we both squealed and hugged each other. Since I had already finished unpacking, I offered to help Hailey, which she gladly accepted. Once the room was pretty much back to the way it looked before winter break, we headed to the madness of the bookstore.

We waited together in the seemingly unending line to check out, still catching up on what had happened over break. I hadn’t found out a way to work Sean into the conversation just yet, and I became quiet as I tried to think of a subtle way to bring it up.

Hailey picked up on my distracted silence and attempted to get the conversation going again. “So, Tyler asked about you over break,” she began.

I closed my eyes, rather than rolled them, clenched my jaw and inhaled deeply through my nose. “Oh yeah?” I asked. “What did he want?” I wasn’t sure why my voice was so full of anger. I wasn’t all that mad at Tyler for how our relationship ended – I dumped _him_ after all – and I was with Sean now, so Tyler wasn’t even a blip on my radar. Still, something in me was definitely not looking forward to talking with or about him any time soon.

“He was just asking if you were seeing anyone. He sounded miserable...pathetic, really. Kinda like he misses you.” Hailey sneaked a lance my way, but I was looking right back at her, so there wasn’t really anything all that sneaky about it. Her eyes darted straight ahead again. “I told him I was pretty sure you were still single.”

‘ _Swell,’_ I thought to myself. “Yeah...not so much, actually.” I grinned at Hailey’s expression as we took a half-step forward in line. My face flushed when she turned to face me, her expression one of shock.

“What?!?” she shrieked, gaining the attention of the others standing in line. Hailey at least had the decency to lower her voice when she continued. “Who? Spill. Now.”

I couldn’t help but giggle a little. “You don’t know him. He’s from back home. We got together a couple days after I got home,” I explained. She fixed me with a look – one that told me I wasn’t done talking yet. I sighed and continued. “His name’s Sean. He’s super sweet and funny and he’s a complete gentleman one minute and a twelve year old boy the next. He makes me really happy.”

Hailey looked at me, her expression now thoughtful. “Well, that’s the important thing. You certainly seem a lot happier than when...than before.”

Although she’d cut herself off, I knew what she’d meant: happier than when I was with Tyler, and she was absolutely right. While Tyler and I certainly made sense on proverbial paper, I never really _felt_ anything with him.

“So how’d you guys meet?”

I should have known this was coming, should have had something prepared, but I didn’t, so now I hoped that I could explain this so it didn’t come across poorly. I really didn’t need a repeat of what had happened when dad had found out. “He’s...an old friend. I guess you could say I met him through my parents.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “Do I get to see a picture of him?” I grinned and shifted my books to one arm so I could dig my phone out of my pants pocket. I had taken a selfie of us together and made it my background image on my phone. I held it out for her to see. “Wow, Morgan. He’s cute but he’s...” she trailed off, as if she were chasing down how to put words to her thoughts. “I just expected someone younger. A _lot_ younger. I just...how old _is_ he?”

I looked down at our smiling faces on my phone and grinned a little before replacing it in my pocket. “Forty-five,” I said softly.

“Jesus, Morgan! He’s older than my dad!” she exclaimed, once again drawing the attention to just about everyone in the bookstore.

“Shh! Will you keep it down?” I whispered forcefully. “Yes, I know he’s a lot older,” I explained when I had gained some semblance of control over my voice. “My mom and dad are almost ten years apart.”

Hailey rolled her eyes, “So what? He’s, what, twenty-seven years older than you? How can you even...ugh,” she made a face and dramatically performed a full-body shiver. “No way could I date someone _that_ much older than me.” She was quiet for a moment before going on with her line of questioning. “Does...does everything even still work?”

“Hailey!” It was my turn to shout. I immediately dropped my voice to a more acceptable volume and tried again. “Will you stop? Can we talk about this where we aren’t surrounded by all these people?”

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged and took another half-step forward as the rest of the line moved up. We didn’t talk much the rest of the time we spend in the bookstore, and that was honestly just fine with me. Every so often we’d see a friend that would stop by and say hello, and we’d discuss our new schedules for the semester, exchanging stories we’d heard about the different professors we’d be learning from. Once we left the store, we stopped at the cafeteria and got a couple sandwiches to go and returned to our room.

The moment the door was closed, Hailey dropped her bag of books on the floor near her bed, crossed her arms angrily and demanded, “Talk.”

I sighed and set by own bag down and sat cross-legged on my bed and opened up my sandwich. It felt weird doing the whole “kiss-and-tell” thing, but I knew there’d be no escaping her (or living with her) until she knew the details. “Okay. You may not know this, but I don’t have a ton of experience with guys.”

“No,” she said sarcastically. She sat on her bed and started digging in to her own sandwich.

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you want to hear this or not?” I warned. She grumbled something I couldn’t quite make out, and I continued. “A couple weeks before school started, I told Sean how nervous I was about all the non-school parts of college...about dealing with parties and, well, boys, how I didn’t really have that much of a social life in high school, and how I was nervous about what to...do. Long story short, he kissed me...like he was teaching me what to do. It was so good, Hailey. I know I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I mean...my toes literally curled.

“So once I started dating Tyler, things were...okay. He was always nice and everything, but...I don’t know. Something felt off. Then Tyler kept pushing to go further, and I wasn’t really ready to. I liked him.” Hailey gave me a half-skeptical look in between bites. “I did,” I insisted. “I just...I think I knew something was missing. Then I thought, ‘Maybe I’m what’s missing.’”

Hailey stopped me there. “How could you be missing? You were half of a couple.”

I nodded, “I know. I don’t think I’m explaining it right. It’s like, I wasn’t putting all I had into it. I just wasn’t...present. Whether I wasn’t ready or I was going out with him just to have a boyfriend or...whatever. I just kept thinking and comparing everything to how it felt when I was with Sean, even if it was only for those couple minutes. I don’t know, but something was holding me back. Then Tyler started pulling away, and I knew it was because of me, and that wasn’t fair. He was always nice to me, and he deserved a fair shot. Something, I don’t know what, but something made me realize that if I didn’t do something, take a big step to show him I really _was_ into him, that I’d lose him. I didn’t want that, not at all. I felt I owed him more, more of a chance. After being so patient with me and my inexperience, he deserved it, you know?”

“Morgan,” Hailey said in a low voice, “You didn’t sleep with Tyler did you? After just kissing for...however many weeks?”

“No, no, no!” I corrected her and saw her relax in relief. “I _definitely_ wasn’t ready for that. Besides, that wasn’t what he was...hinting at.” Hailey looked at me quizzically again, so I explained. “When we’d be making out, he’d try putting my hand on his crotch. When I eventually...went along with that, he’d try...” I breathed in deep. “He’d start to push my head down. Well, he tried to. I told him I just couldn’t, that I wasn’t ready, and he’d back off, but after a handful of times, I noticed we wouldn’t make out as much, we wouldn’t cuddle, nothing. He was still good to me, but the physical side of our relationship was hardly there anymore. I felt like I was letting him down, disappointing him, and I didn’t like that feeling. So I decided I wanted to make it up to him, make it really good when I actually...did what he wanted.”

“I thought this was about Sean and you,” she said, her voice a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

“I’m getting there,” I told her. “Like I said, I wanted it to be good for him. You remember I asked you for...help?” Hailey nodded. “Well, you weren’t the only one. You gave me the mechanics, the how-to, but I wanted a...trial run first.”

Hailey sat quiet for a minute before her eyes widened. “Oh, my God, Morgan, you didn’t.”

I felt my face flush bright red and nodded. “I called Sean and asked for a practice session over four-day break.” I fought back a grin as memories of that night came to the forefront of my mind.

Hailey took advantage of my momentary silence. “So, you cheated on Tyler.”

I frowned and shook my head, “No. Well, I guess... _technically_ yes, but it was _for_ him.” I held my head in my hands and let out a frustrated sigh. “This is coming out all wrong again.” I looked back up at her. “It was like...using a study guide to get ready for a test. I wanted to make sure I could be as good as I could be for Tyler. He was already starting to give up on me; I could feel us drifting.”

“It still sounds like cheating, Morgan.” I started to defend myself, but Hailey pressed on. “Couldn’t you have asked Tyler to teach you? Find out what _he_ wanted? I mean, you two were together for well over a month. I think you owed him that, at least instead of asking some other guy.”

I felt myself shrink internally. “I know, and I could have...probably should have. I just...how would that have sounded? ‘Hey, Tyler, I know I’ve been saying know for the past couple weeks, but I’m ready now, even though I really don’t know what I’m doing. So, you’re still going to have to be really patient while I learn?”

“Either way, he’s getting his dick sucked. I don’t think he would have minded.” Hailey’s brashness caused me to blush again. “Plus, don’t you think he found it a little odd that you went from never having touched him to being a pro at giving a blow job?”

I had never thought of that. It felt like ice water had been poured down my spine; my stomach started churning uneasily on itself. I stared down at my hands in my lap and picked at my fingernails. God, I really was a terrible person. ‘No,’ I told myself. I might have done wrong by Tyler, but I did what I thought I needed to do to be good for him. And now I was deliriously happy with Sean, so while I might not have given Tyler a decent shot in the long run, I had done what was best for me.

It was a long moment before either of us spoke again. “So, did it help?” Hailey brought me back to the present. She answered my curious expression, “With Tyler. Did he...enjoy what Sean taught you?”

“Well, he didn’t complain,” I answered, “but things were definitely...different than with Sean.”

“You mean, Tyler didn’t need to take a little blue pill?”

“Hailey!” I admonished her. “Sean has _no_ problems in that department. None.” I said adamantly. Hailey gave me a skeptical and almost bored look. I took a second to compose myself, trying not to let her get to me. “No. With Tyler...it was just about him getting off. I had told him I’d have a surprise for him after four-day and I guess he figured it out real quick once I was in his room. There was no warm-up, hardly even any kissing. He knew he was getting a blow job and that was all he cared about. Then once he was done...that was it. Hardly even a thank you. He walked me out of his building, that’s about it. Wouldn’t even kiss me goodbye.” Hailey looked almost...apathetic, which I certainly hadn’t expected. I waited for some kind of comment, but got none, so I continued.

“But with Sean, he...he made it just as good for me as it was for him. There was no rush to it. We got to...explore each other.”

Hailey’s voice was somewhere between shocked and disgusted. “You let him eat you out?”

I shook my head. “That’s the thing. He used his hand, but it was so good. I’d never...never came before.”

Hailey’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Are you telling me you went from never having kissed a guy, never even touched yourself, to letting some old guy finger you and then you went down on him?”

“Dammit, Hailey!” I was getting angry and my voice was rising with my temper. “Stop it! He’s not just some old guy. I love him. I’m going to marry him.” Shit. I hadn’t meant for that to come out just yet.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!?” she shrieked. “Morgan that’s...ew, that’s so gross, just imagining it.” She looked at my left hand and her face was suddenly a little less tense. “You’re not _really_ getting married, right? This is like...like in Ferris Bueller and the girl at the end is all, ‘I’m gonna marry him,’ right?

I shook my head, words completely failing me. I knew this would be a shock to some people, but I never thought anyone would react quite like this. Yes, my relationship with Sean was very unconventional, but it wasn’t disgusting like Hailey was making it out to be...was it?

“You didn’t sleep with him, did you?” she demanded. “I mean, you were with Tyler until the beginning of December. Tell me you didn’t jump into bed with _him_ within a matter of weeks.” I bit my lip and blushed in response, though I knew I didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about. Her lip curled into a sneer. “Oh, my god.” Even with my head hanging low, I could feel her judgmental stare falling on me.

“And what do your parents think of you sleeping with one of their friends?”

“Mom was actually pretty okay about it. She wasn’t thrilled, but she trusts us. Dad, well, he...” I took a breath to try to stave off the tears pricking my eyes. Almost two weeks later and it still hurt this much to think about it. “Dad punched Sean, broke his nose. I had to reset it. He...he kicked me out.”

“Holy shit,” she replied, showing an ounce of sympathy for the first time since I started filling her in on the details of my love life. “I mean, I don’t blame him for punching Sean, but kicking you out? I thought he’d just drag you back home and keep you under lock and key.”

Well, so much for sympathy.

“Please at least tell me you were careful.”

I lifted one shoulder. “Most of the time.”

Hailey stood up at that and started pacing. “Jesus, Morgan! I thought you were smarter than this. What if you got pregnant? Your life would be over. What the hell would you do? Your dad kicked you out...you can’t raise a baby on your own.”

Another chill ran down my spine. God, what if I was pregnant? We were usually careful, always at Sean’s insistence, except for two...three times. My pules quickened and a cold sweat started forming on my forehead and the back of my neck when I realized that technically, I could be pregnant already and wouldn’t even know it.

I feebly fought back, “Sean wouldn’t...”

“Does Sean even want kids? I mean, if he’s forty-five now, and you guys have a kid, he’ll be sixty-three when the kid graduates high school. Have any more later on and you’ll be buying diapers for both of them. And that’s _assuming_ he actually marries you. Are you telling me he proposed, but didn’t get you a ring? Yeah, this sounds like he’s real invested in this relationship.” She brought her fingers up to make quotation marks in the air. “Probably doesn’t want any actual evidence that he’s with you because he knows how awful it is. Face it Morgan. He’s using you, stringing you along, thinking he’s such a stud, nailing a barely legal college girl. He’s telling you what you want to hear to keep you coming back for more. I mean look at him. Did he know you were already with Tyler when you went down on him? Did he say anything about ‘Maybe we’re moving too fast’ when you first had sex? And now he’s got you living with him, totally okay with you alienating yourself from your parents...for someone more than twice your age? Got you all tucked away so he can fuck you any time he wants. Yeah, he sounds fucking perfect. I can’t believe he sweet talked you into believing his line of bullshit.”

“Hailey, enough!” I shouted, standing up to meet her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You only see a tiny glimpse of what we have. If you knew...”

“What I know,” she interrupted, “is that he’s just this side of committing statutory rape. God, what if he’s been perving after you for who knows how long and jumped at the first chance he got once you hit eighteen so he won’t have to worry about going to jail?”

“Shut _up_ , Hailey!”

She a menacing grin crossed her face. “You can’t even come up with a way to explain anything. You know I’m right. You’re sick in the head for even thinking about asking someone who could easily be your uncle...your _father_...to do all this shit with you, and you’re just a cheating bitch who’s only in it for herself. You make me _sick_...”

My hand flew out without my even thinking about it. I didn’t realize I’d slapped her until my palm was stinging and her shocked expression was staring back at me.

“Fuck you,” she spat out. “Oh wait, I guess I’m not old enough to,” she shot over her shoulder as she stormed out. “I’m going to housing and getting the fuck out of here. I don’t want to be here when you bring...who knows what else into your bed.” She let the door slam behind her.

I stood in the middle of the room until my knees gave out from under me and I collapsed in a heap on the floor. I pulled my arms around my calves and dropped my head onto my knees. I wasn’t sure when the crying started, or when it would ever end.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am trying to get back into my writing. I’m so very sorry this has taken so long to update. Hopefully now that I’m getting better at kicking my rear in gear, updates will be more frequent.

**I** wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting on the floor and crying, only that it was long enough that both of my legs were dead asleep from hips to toes. I lifted myself to sit on my bed and waited for the blood to return feeling to my legs, hissing at the pins and needles sensation. As I waited to feel like it was safe to move without falling over, I looked around the room and realized that sooner or later, Hailey would be returning to move all her things to her new room, and I certainly didn’t want to be around for that.

I bundled up in my coat, grabbed my phone and stuffed it into my pocket as a last minute thought. I ended up wandering around campus, doing my best to avoid eye contact with anyone else out walking around. I followed my feet and ended up wandering off campus until I found a tiny coffee shop. I didn’t really want to be on school grounds if I could help it. I could just imagine friends greeting each other at the student center, catching up over greasy food and games of pool, sharing with each other what they’d done over winter break. It was a decently small campus, so chances were the rumor mill was already working on what Hailey would tell them about my relationship with Sean, and that was something I’d rather avoid as long as possible.

I ordered a coffee and a chocolate chip muffin and secluded myself into a corner booth. I tore off little pieces to eat, but couldn’t taste anything that landed on my tongue; every bite I swallowed sank like lead in my stomach. Before my nerves started to get the better of me, I tried relaxing, slumping back in my seat and focusing on just breathing.

My fingers found my phone in my coat pocket and fumbled with it for a while. Every little part of me wanted to call Sean, to at least hear a friendly voice, but I fought the urge. I was a big girl; I could handle this. Besides, what could he do from five hours away? I wasn’t about to ask him to drive all the way up here, and even if he did, what would that do besides make me feel guilty for dragging him all this way? What, was he going to yell at anyone who said mean things about me? Call their parents?

I slammed the phone on the table. _No._ I had to deal with this on my own.

I thought back to the people I had passed on the way here. Did they know yet? Just what could I expect when I got back on campus? I frowned and shook my head at the thought. I certainly wasn’t _that_ popular that the whole student population would be buzzing with my news. Hailey had introduced me to her ever-growing group of friends, but I certainly wouldn’t call myself popular by any stretch. I had ended up getting to know a handful of people through her and my classes last semester, but that hardly gave me any kind of social butterfly status. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. More than likely, I’d have to find new people to share meals with, and probably wouldn’t be involved in many conversations between classes, and I certainly wouldn’t be invited to hang out with anyone in the evenings, but that was really more like I was used to – just doing my thing, all on my own. It’d be lonely, but I could handle it.

I sighed heavily, puffing out a loaded breath. I tried another bite of muffin and washed it down with some coffee, still hardly tasting either. Hailey’s words began circling in my mind again, and I just sank further into my coat in a feeble attempt to stifle them.

Hailey was right about one thing, as much as I hated to admit it. I had cheated on Tyler, though being with Sean never felt wrong. In fact, it was the other way around: all the time I spent with Tyler felt _off_ somehow. His kisses never made my toes curl like Sean’s had. He very rarely made me feel as good as Sean so often did. It wasn’t that Tyler treated me poorly, but I never felt...special. When I was with Sean, he made me feel like I was the center of his world.

God I missed him.

I picked up my phone again and smiled as our goofy selfie lit up the screen. I was so in love with that man, regardless of what anyone said or did.

Then, out of the blue, it hit me: that’s why being with Tyler always felt like something was missing. I was right when I’d told Hailey that I was missing, that I wasn’t present. It was because I’d been in love with Sean the whole time. I’d loved him as a friend before all this started; was it so hard to believe that our first kiss had sealed our fate, so to speak, and brought us closer together than we’d realized in just those few moments? I’d known I’d loved him after trying to go further with Tyler, and had thought it was just because they had treated me so differently. Now, looking back on it, I understood that I’d been in love with Sean since our first kiss, that our friendship had blossomed into something beautiful without my even knowing it.

I sat up a little straighter and started picking at my muffin again, even enjoying it a little.

That is, I was enjoying it until I realized that technically, that meant while I was with Tyler, I was cheating on Sean, at least in my heart. Granted we weren’t in any kind of official relationship, but it certainly explained why I couldn’t let myself go any further with Tyler, why I wouldn’t let him touch me, no matter how many times he’d tried, why I never really felt giddy around him...and why it wasn’t a hard decision to break up with him.

Was it perfect logic? Absolutely not.

Was it self-rationalization? Probably.

Did it make any of it less true? Not even a little bit.

My realization erased any thoughts I’d had when I first came to Sean asking for a practice session and giving him a blow job. I’d felt like I’d used Sean, and now I knew that wasn’t true anymore.

Then Hailey’s words began taunting me again, the nearly one-sided conversation repeating itself on a loop in my mind. Was Sean using me, just stringing me along? Everything she had said made sense. She was even right about him knowing I was dating Tyler when I first spent the night at his house. Nothing I could come up with could explain any of it away, just my blind faith and hope that Sean wouldn’t treat me like she’d insinuated. He’d promised me...and my mother...that he’d never hurt me, and I’d believed him...I still believed him.

Why, then, did I feel so shitty all of a sudden?

‘Calm down, Morgan,’ I coached myself and focused on my breathing again. Sean was best friends with my father, almost a brother, at least until recently, and I’ve trusted him all my life. He’d given me absolutely no reason to start doubting him. If he was just using me like Hailey suggested, why would he always put my...needs...above his own? Why had he taken a punch to the nose? And not just that, but told my father he loved me, that he wanted to marry me, effectively ending a nearly lifelong friendship?

And really, he had proposed to me kind of spur of the moment. Considering the ice storm and the short amount of time we had together anyway, when was he supposed to get me ring? He did try, and my left hand might not be naked right now if not for the idiotic saleswoman assuming things about us and upsetting the both of us.

With every revelation and rationalization, another of Hailey’s points was drudged up to the surface. I sighed heavily and checked the time on my phone. It had been less than an hour since I’d left my dorm room, though it almost felt like days had passed. I resigned to staying in the tiny café, hoping to give Hailey plenty of time to move her stuff out of the room and wishing I had brought a book to attempt to occupy my mind rather than the awful things Hailey had said earlier.

Really, though, what did she know? She barely heard any details of our relationship, just the bare bones of what Sean and I had together, really, and jumped to every conclusion she could possibly come to. She hadn’t heard, or at least hadn’t listened, when I tried telling her how loving and caring Sean always was to me. She had some preconceived notion about us, it seemed, despite only learning about my being with Sean a mere hour earlier, if that. Had all this been brewing in her brain while we were standing in line together at the bookstore? It pissed me off that she was there assuming things about me while standing inches away.

I stayed in my little corner booth, fuming at my soon-to-be ex-roomie. The longer I sat, the more pissed I became. Not only had she basically shattered any happiness I was feeling, but she had made me doubt myself and my relationship with Sean. It infuriated me, the thought that someone I thought I knew, that I thought knew me, someone I thought I could trust, could hurt me so deeply and could get so far under my skin like she had.

Damn I was pissed. I had a fleeting thought of my father – was this how he felt? We had sprung the news on him just as Hailey had cultivated then pounced on my insecurities. Hadn’t we basically done the same kind of thing to his trust in both of us?

No. This was different. He hadn’t listened, just as Hailey hadn’t listened. Granted, he had a lot more reason to be upset at us, and any conclusions he’d jumped to were pretty much right on. I slumped as another wave of guilt washed over me as I realized just how awful that whole situation was. I wondered how long my father was going to shut me out.

The next thing I knew, one of the baristas was making her way around, wiping tables and re-setting chairs as she went. She not-so-nonchalantly informed me that the coffee shop would be closing soon and that I needed to head out. I nodded and tried apologizing for being the last customer and was met with a pretentious eye-roll in response. A part of me, the part that was tired of taking crap from people, wanted to just leave my mess on the table, but my parents had raised me better than that, so I cleared the crumbs as best as I could into my now empty cup. I shrugged my coat on and puffed out a breath, preparing myself for the walk to my dorm and what potentially awaited me there.

I keyed into my room and flipped the lights on and saw...that nothing had changed. All of Hailey’s belongings were right where they’d been before I’d left. I looked around and didn’t see a note or anything from her, either.

A new wave of emotion rushed through me. Obviously it was far too late for her to come back and get her things now, but what if she came back just to yell and scream at me? What if she brought someone along just to try to shame me even further? What if she brought Tyler? What would I do?

I was so lost in thought that I jumped and let out a scream when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I glanced down at the screen and answered a little nervously.

“Hey, sweetheart. Get everything all settled in your room?”

God, if he only knew. I took a deep breath to keep my voice from shaking. “Hey, baby. I’m...I’m here.” It was about all I could trust myself to say. Just hearing his voice brought on a fresh onslaught of tears that I fought to hold back. I breathed deeply again and asked, “How are you?”

I could hear his sexy grin through his smooth as silk voice. “Good. My bed is far too big without you in it, though.”

Hailey’s words from earlier crashed into me yet again. _Was_ Sean only using me for sex?

“God I can’t wait until I get you all to myself again,” he continued.

The ever-growing knot in my stomach tightened. ‘Stop it, Morgan. He just misses you as much as you miss him.’ I tried calming myself down, but that awful niggling doubt in the corner of my mind kept attacking. I hated the effect my thoughts were having on my mental state. ‘What if she’s right?’ kept circling in my head.

“Hey, Sean,” I said, almost in a whisper to hopefully hide how badly my voice was shaking with the need to cry. “It’s been a long day and I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” It wasn’t a total lie; I definitely wanted to make myself scarce tomorrow as soon as I could in case Hailey did come back to get her things. “I think I’m going to just go to bed, okay?”

“Oh,” he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “Alright. Here I was hoping I could help you break in your new little friend.”

“Roommate, Sean,” I reminded him, the knot in my stomach twisting and fraying with the added guilt. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, sweetheart,” he agreed. “Sleep well.”

“G’night, Sean.”

“Morgan, wait!” he called out through the speaker. My breath caught in my throat. Did he know I was keeping something from him? “When are you done with classes tomorrow? Maybe we could have a Skype date.”

I almost sighed with relief. “Maybe he still didn’t suspect anything was wrong after all. “Last class gets out at four-fifteen. Then I was going to grab some dinner and get started on studying.”

“Well, let me know when you need a study break. Roommate or not, I wanna talk to you.”

I almost started crying again, but this time for an entirely different reason. I tried to beat the growing doubt in my mind back. How could a man who says something so sweet be anything but wonderful? How could I be stupid enough to listen to even a syllable of what that bitch Hailey had said?

“Alright. I’ll call you sometime tomorrow.”

“Okay, Sugar. I love you, Morgan.”

“I love you, too, Sean. Thank you.”

I could hear the confusion in his voice. “For what, sweetheart?”

“Just...being you,” I sighed.

He chuckled, “Whatever you say. Get some sleep, hon. You sound like you need it.”

Again, if he only knew. “You’re probably right. Good night, baby.”

“G’night. Sleep well.”

And despite all the craziness of the past day, or maybe because of it, I slept incredibly well that night.

****************

It was easier than I expected to slip back into my morning routine. The only real change was instead of going to the caf and meeting up with Hailey and her friends, I would get a quick breakfast from the little sandwich shop in the basement of the main academic building where I’d be spending the majority of my day anyway.

My first couple classes went well enough, I suppose. I found it was pretty difficult to focus on anything going on. Instead, I was constantly worried if any of the students in the rooms with me were friends with Hailey and if she’d told them her take on what happened between me and Tyler. I found myself shaking my head clear of such thoughts. When did I start thinking of myself as so important? ‘Probably around the time Sean started thinking of you as so important,’ my snarky mind responded. After that, my thoughts naturally drifted to him, wondering what he did with his day. Did he just stay in his office and work on...whatever his next deadline was? It occurred to me I had no idea what kinds of things he wrote, only that he did it often enough and well enough to make a pretty decent living for himself.

I was several minutes early to my next to last class, though not the first to arrive, and found a seat near a window in the front of the classroom. I gazed outside, taking in the still snowy landscape of the campus, the limbs of the trees still heavy with snow. Below I saw several students navigating the shoveled sidewalks, discovering slick spots as they trudged to their classes. As I sat, I heard the room filling with other students; when I looked around after a few more minutes of gazing out the window, I realized over half the seats were taken. A glance at the clock above the door told me class would be starting very soon. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to make sure it was on silent and when I looked up again, I saw Tyler walking through the doorway.

My heart sank. Had Hailey gotten to him already? If she had, who knows what she told him? I wouldn’t think Hailey would lie, but as of last night, I certainly wouldn’t put it past her.

The now-constant knot in my stomach began to twist on itself again as Tyler made his way into the classroom. A feeling of dread washed over me as I noticed he was crossing over to where I was sitting. ‘Relax. It’s only because all the seats closest to the door are already taken,’ I told myself. I forced myself to take a deep breath to calm down and offered him a weak smile as he came closer. “Hi, Tyler,” I squeaked out.

“Slut,” he said, clear as day, for all to hear, putting extra emphasis on the ‘L’ and the ‘T.’

I was mortified. I could physically feel every eye in the room turn to look at me.

I couldn’t move, could barely breathe. My mouth hung gaping open in shock and I could feel my cheeks and ears turn nineteen shades of scarlet even as all the blood drained from my face.

A low whisper started to travel throughout the room. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and focused on my breathing, trying to convince myself not to cry...not in front of all these people. I don’t know if it was fate screwing with me or luck blessing me, but the professor walked in as the group’s whisper grew to a murmur, quelling the sound before it could continue. I kept my vision focused on the textbook in front of me, taking notes with a shaky hand, never once looking up, for fear that the professor had heard what Tyler had said and would be looking at me judgingly, as I was sure the rest of the class was.

The second the professor dismissed the class, I stumbled out of my seat, shoving my books into my bag as I left, pushing my way through to get out to the hallway.

I didn’t know what to do, where to go. I just knew I had to get out. I hurled myself down the flights of stairs until I reached the main floor then nearly sprinted across campus, not even thinking about where I was going. I’d never had a panic attack before, but I was certain I was in the middle of one now. It wasn’t until my tunnel vision had cleared that I realized I’d brought myself to my favorite part of the campus library, deep in the stacks, practically hidden away from the rest of humanity. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten here, but now that I recognized my surroundings, I was glad my feet had taken me here.

I swung my backpack off my shoulders and let it drop to the floor then leaned against the cool wall and slid down to join it. I pulled my knees up and let my forehead land against them and let the horror of the last hour take its full effect on me. Hot tears of embarrassment ran down my cheeks. If the rumor mill hadn’t picked up on everything last night, it was certainly going to be hard at work now. I could handle it if people just started ignoring me now that I’d fallen out of Hailey’s ‘good graces.’ It would be like high school all over again, but I could manage. It was the shame that came with my newfound “title” that had me anxious.

My embarrassment turned to anger. How could anyone believe Tyler? I wasn’t a slut. I’ve only been with one man. Yes, I can see why Tyler would say it, but why would anyone who knew me believe him?

Of course, it made sense. Who would listen to the wallflower when someone like Hailey was talking first? It angered me that everyone would most likely jump on the bandwagon she and Tyler were driving rather than actually talk to me. ‘Right, like I’d want to open up my personal life to the general public anyway,’ I thought to myself. Still, it would have been nice if people had questioned Tyler after his calling me out as a slut in front of the class rather than pointing and whispering about me.

At this point, I’d be inexcusably late for my last class of the day, so there was little point in trying anyway. I still wasn’t sure if Hailey had moved her things out of the room yet or not, though unless she skipped her first day of classes, I figured that was unlikely. I decided to make the best of a crappy situation and try to concentrate long enough to get some reading done. A fleeting thought crossed my mind to call Sean, but I didn’t want him to know anything was wrong and didn’t trust my voice with speech just yet.

There’s no natural light in the corner of the stacks in which I had found myself, so the only indication of time passing was my stomach growling, informing me that I hadn’t eaten in hours. I found a good stopping point and packed my books away then stood up and went to put on my jacket.

My jacket.

It hit me with a sinking feeling in my stomach that in my rush to get out of the classroom, I’d left my jacket hanging on the back of my chair. I must have just been so focused on getting out of there that I hadn’t even noticed the cold as I crossed campus. My mind went into overdrive, wondering if it was even still there. Had someone grabbed it? Was the classroom still open so I could check? Suddenly I thought to check my jeans pockets for...

Dammit! My phone was sitting in my coat pocket. I tried forcing myself to breathe deeply to keep myself from crying. Tears definitely weren’t going to help right now. A number of scenarios came to mind as I tried to determine what to do next, not many of them very promising.

I made my way to the main floor and froze in my tracks when I looked out the large windows lining the lower level of the building. Outside, the sidewalks were glistening with fallen precipitation; the drops frozen to the window panes told me it wasn’t just rain that was falling, but ice or sleet or at least something that would be a bitch to walk in across campus, let alone without a jacket. ‘Well,’ I thought, ‘might as well go now. It’s not like it’ll get warmer if I wait.’ I readjusted the straps on my shoulders and braced myself for the long trek across campus.

I had just reached the lobby doors of the library when I heard my name being called from behind me. I felt myself tense up, nervous about who it was calling me and just what they wanted. I turned around warily to see Sara, one of the student workers in the library, approaching me quickly.

With my jacket.

“I figured I’d see you in here sooner or later. You left this after marketing today. I tried to catch up with you, but you booked it the hell out of there.” A look of contrite understanding covered her face, “I guess I can’t really blame you.”

I mumbled a “thanks” and took the coat from her. She continued talking while I shed my backpack and put on my coat, surreptitiously checking for my phone while doing so, and silently relieved to find it in the pocket where I’d left it.

“Tyler’s such an ass for what he said. I don’t know what all went on between you two, but seriously, knowing him and...well...sort of knowing you, I just find it hard to believe. And then Hailey going around telling people you slapped the shit out of her. Really? You?” she scoffed.

I was still looking down, pulling the zipper on my coat closed, but peeked up at Sara from beneath my eyelashes at her last comment. “Actually,” I murmured with a smirk, “it was just once.”

Sara looked at me, jaw hanging open in some kind of twisted sense of awe. “Holy shit!” she exclaimed, far louder than she should have given where we were standing. “You mean it’s true?! You really hit her?”

I simply nodded, not sure exactly where Sara stood on the whole ordeal.

“Honestly? She probably deserved it. I know she’s all, you know, popular and crap, but she just seems so damn fake.” She paused, and even with my head still down, I could feel her gaze on me. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged and mumbled, “Just...everything. Last night with Hailey and today with Tyler.” Sara looked at me as if she was clearly missing something, so I gave her the bare bones version of how I’d met someone before going out with Tyler, and all the convoluted things that happened since. I didn’t mention Sean in great detail, just that he was a family friend and he was older, hoping to avoid a reaction like Hailey’s again.

“Huh...well, that explains everything and nothing at all,” Sara responded. Now it was my turn to look confused. “That girl has had a thing for Tyler since I can remember. I’m surprised she was even okay with you two going out in the first place. So it explains why she was so upset that you...well...as his friend, to see you cheat on him, for whatever reason...misguided as it may have been,” she stammered. “Still, I’d think she’d be glad that you two are definitely not getting back together. Girl is messed up. So, I guess she told Tyler in detail what you told her, huh?”

“More than likely,” I agreed. “If not more detail than I gave her.” Sara cocked an eyebrow and nodded, as if to say “Sounds like Hailey.” I glanced outside and saw a layer of white coating the already slick looking sidewalks. “Hey, I should probably go. Thank you so much for grabbing my jacket.”

Sara gave me a genuine smile, one that prompted a grin of my own. “No problem, hon. Look, my shift is almost over and I’m starved. Wanna grab something to eat?”

I let out a relieved laugh. “That sounds great.” Maybe I didn’t have to worry about returning to being a hermit after all. I sat myself at a table near the circulation desk and waited for Sara to finish up. Meanwhile, I checked my phone, seeing a couple of missed messages from Sean and my mother. Mom was just checking to see how my first day of classes went. I texted back a quick ‘Fine,’ and something about studying and letting her know I was okay. There was no way I’d let her know what was going on with my personal life right now.

I clicked open Sean’s messages, one of them including a little red rose emoji, and grinned like an idiot. That man knew just how to make me feel better, even if he didn’t know I was upset to begin with. I let him know I was finished studying and was going to get some dinner, but I’d be back in my room soon and we could hopefully Skype for a while. He must have had his phone out, waiting for a reply, because he texted back right away telling me he’d be waiting for me. A small part of my brain was really hoping for Hailey to be moved out like she said she would so I would have the room to myself, knowing that Sean would be asking about his latest gift to me.

Sara and I made our way to the cafeteria. I was more than relieved to find it nearly empty. Whether it was due to the crappy weather or just because it was later than the normal dinner rush didn’t really matter. After my conversation with myself last night, I told myself I wasn’t going to worry about people talking about me...but after what happened in class today, that was all thrown out the window. I still wanted to avoid anyone who might recognize me if I could help it. I briefly wondered how I was going to get through classes for the rest of the semester, but didn’t dwell on it. Like any good gossip story, this would all be water under the bridge soon anyway...I hoped. Besides, was I about to let Hailey and Tyler have that much power and control over my life? I didn’t think so.

Sara and I lived on different levels of the same building, so we walked together to the hall and parted ways in the lobby. As I drew closer and closer to my room, I grew more and more nervous at what I would find on the other side of the door. No light was shining from beneath the door, so at least I was pretty sure Hailey wasn’t there, though I still didn’t know if she’d moved or not. I supposed there was only one way to find out.

I slid the key in the lock and palmed the door open then flipped on the lights to find all of Hailey’s things were gone. ‘Well, that’s that,’ I thought to myself, a little relieved and, for some reason, sad that my first college friend was apparently no longer part of my life. I shrugged, focusing on getting to talk with Sean – the soon to be happiest part of my day. I tossed my backpack and jacket on the newly vacated bed and turned toward the desk with my laptop on it.

That’s when I saw Hailey’s final blow, waiting for me in bright red lipstick –

**_“ENJOY THE ROOM, SLUT” _ **

\- written on the wall in letters at least six inches tall.

I sank down onto a bed – I wasn’t really paying attention to which one – and stared. The practical side of my brain was trying to figure out how the hell I was going to clean that off. The rest of me was reeling from the message itself. A scary thought crossed my mind: I was counting on the gossip chain and rumor mill to get tired of this little story and move on sooner rather than later, but what if Hailey used her popularity to keep it going as long as she could? What if I could never escape the stigma and the embarrassment? Could I stay at this school with all that following me around?

I shook myself out of my thoughts and forced myself to my feet, not able to stand looking at those words another minute. I certainly wouldn’t be able to talk with Sean with Hailey’s message staring at me the whole time. When I first came to school, my mom insisted on setting me up with all kinds of cleaning supplies, just in case I ever felt like doing more cleaning than just laundry. There in the bottom of the bucket was a Magic Eraser. Hoping all those commercials were accurate, I rushed down to the bathroom to wet this miracle sponge and returned to my room to start to work. Thankfully, with quite a bit of elbow grease, all the lipstick came off, not leaving even a small trace behind. I dropped the Eraser into the bucket and plopped down on the desk chair and waited for my laptop to boot up.

As soon as the Wi-Fi connected, I logged on to Skype, instantly smiling when I saw Sean’s screen name waiting for me. I didn’t even have a chance to click on him when I got the notice to start a video chat with him. I clicked accept and adjusted my chair so I was lined up better with the camera.

“Hey, sweetie,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite match up with the audio. Ah, the joys of technology.

“Hi, baby. God, I miss you,” I answered back, already fighting back tears.

“I miss you too, sweetheart. I haven’t had to cook for myself for a while. Almost forgot where everything was,” he teased, and I gave him a sarcastic laugh in response. “So how were classes?”

“Most of them were okay, I guess.” I was about to explain that the classes themselves were alright, it was the people in them that were going to be an issue, when his phone rang.

“Damn. Hang on, Morgan,” he said apologetically and disappeared from the screen. I could hear him answer and inadvertently heard his end of the conversation:

“Hello? Hey, Melissa. No, no, it’s fine. You’re good, go ahead. Yeah? ...yeah...? No fucking way! Best news I’ve heard in a long time. But what about your...oh really? Well that makes things nice and easy, doesn’t it? Yeah, no shit it’s about time. What’s that? Yeah, last couple weeks were kinda crazy, couldn’t really get out, but I’m all yours whenever...uh, lemme...tomorrow looks good. I would love to meet you for lunch, sweet thing. Okay, I’ll see you then. God, you are just the best. Seriously, I could just kiss you. Hahaha, yeah I know. Alright, hon. I’ll see you tomorrow. You bet. Bye.”

I sat there in shock. God, Hailey was right. Sean was just using me. He apparently had some woman...Melissa...and was just waiting until I was gone before he could see her again. All the crap about wanting to marry me and loving me and everything was just...just for show...just to get in my pants whenever he wanted. Oh my _god_ , how could I have been so fucking naïve? So god damned stupid? I literally threw myself at him, practically begged him to fuck me. I remember wondering how a man like him could stay single for so long. Well now I had my answer: he apparently didn’t. I thought back to our first time having sex. He had already had an open box of condoms in his night stand. If he was single, why have them?

God, every little thing looked so differently now: why we only went out in public together a few times; why he was always so insistent about protection. His offer for me to move in with him was more of a convenience for him than any real way of progressing our relationship. ‘What relationship? You mean giving yourself to him, practically being at his beck and call, spreading your legs whenever he wanted it? Turns out they’re right about you – you are a slut.’

I felt like I was going to be sick. He scooted back into the camera’s line of sight and I _knew_ I was going to be sick. I just couldn’t talk to him right now. I rubbed my eyes roughly, hoping to staunch the flow of tears for another minute while I begged out of the conversation. I didn’t care if he realized I had caught on to his little...scheme. Maybe he’d think I was just tired and wouldn’t push for many details.

“Hey, Sean, I’m sorry to do this, but I’m exhausted from today, and I’ve got another early bird class tomorrow,” I said with a voice much calmer than I was actually feeling. “I’m just gonna go to bed, okay?”

“You sure?” he asked, and something like genuine concern crossed his features.

I nodded quickly and squeezed my eyes shut, willing them to stay dry just a minute longer. “Yeah. I’m pretty beat. I’ll...I’ll talk with you some other time.”

He leaned back in his chair, but his gaze was no less intense on me. “Alright, sweetheart. You promise everything’s okay?”

“I’m fine!” I almost shouted. “I just...really need to get going. Bye.”

“Alright, Bye Morg-”

I cut off the conversation before he could say anything else. I just knew his next words would be ‘I love you,’ and it would break me and he’d force an explanation from me and I just couldn’t handle that right now.

Instead I flopped onto my bed, on top of the covers, still completely dressed, and cried myself to sleep.

****************

The rest of the week dragged on slowly. When I wasn’t in class, I was in my room, trying desperately to concentrate on my reading for classes, but ended up staring at the pages and not one letter of the text sinking in.

I barely slept, staying up until the wee hours of the morning until I basically passed out from exhaustion, and woke after only a few hours’ sleep, unable to face my dreams anymore. Every night was the same: I would show up for some test that I wasn’t at all prepared for, and as I sat in my seat and went to look for something to write with, I would notice I was naked. Then a huge group of people would enter the room, led by Hailey, Tyler and my father, all laughing snidely at me...but the loudest laugh would be Sean’s.

After waking from the dream and throwing on whatever clothes looked most comfortable (and once just staying in my pajamas), I would make my way to the main academic building, get a simple breakfast, make another attempt at catching up on reading, then drag myself to classes. I timed everything out so I was the last one in the door, hiding in bathrooms until the last possible moment, hoping to avoid the looks and stares that I was sure would be landing on me in each class. I would often skip lunch, not daring to be seen anywhere if I could avoid it, and had gone to the local grocery store to load up on Ramen noodles, which had become the main staple of my diet this past week.

I just felt so stupid, so used, so...empty. What I thought had been real love and happiness with Sean was all...nothing. I constantly berated myself for letting my hormones and stupid little teenage wishes take control. I avoided Sean as best I could all week, declining all his calls, only answering texts with minimal responses, insisting that this class load was a lot more demanding than I’d bargained for and was having a hard time getting back into the swing of things. He wouldn’t push, saying something along the lines of knowing my education was important to me, and wished me luck and sweet dreams and always ending with an ‘I love you.’

What was worse was that I hadn’t had my period for over a month. Was it possible that on top of everything else, I was pregnant? I tried telling myself it was just stress, but the nagging feeling wouldn’t let up, and of course my imagination came up with all the worst possible scenarios.

Friday night arrived, and I heard the other girls on my floor going back and forth between their rooms, getting ready for the first big parties of the new semester. I stayed in bed, staring at nothing, waiting, almost begging for sleep to come. It seemed all I did lately was cry whenever I was in here, but crying was all I seemed to be able to do with any success. I felt so dried up, wiped out, and useless.

I heard a soft knock from the hall, but figured it was for one of the girls next to me, once again cursing the paper thin walls of the building. The knock sounded again, louder and more insistent this time, but I chose to ignore it. I heard my phone ringing from its place on my desk, but I let it go to voicemail as I wasn’t in any kind of state of mind to talk to anyone, whether in person or over the phone.

The next thing I knew, there was banging on my door, followed by my RA calling from the other side of it, “Morgan? Are you in there?” I heard a key slip into the lock and my door burst open. I sat up quickly, then swayed as the blood rushed from my head because of the sudden movement. Finally my vision stopped swimming in front of me and I could focus.

There, standing next to my RA...was Sean.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems like I’m always apologizing for the delay in updating, but I truly am sorry. As I said at the beginning of my latest chapter of Lady in Red, the strange thing about pregnancy – my muse/inspiration/willpower completely disappeared. Super ironic thing – taking care of an infant seems to have completely jumpstarted my writing mojo. The tricky part is I’m still taking care of an infant (and going back to work) so my time for writing is significantly diminished. I’ll update when I can – that’s about the best I can offer.
> 
> Huge thanks go to JenniR, jsmith69, GACfan4Life, Corlin, SPF Fan, Bryanna, cmw, Erin, Deanna, Aly Winchester, for their wonderful reviews. They mean so much to me, and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to thank you all personally. Love love love to all of you!
> 
> And now, on with the story.

Sean stood in the hallway for a second, not saying a word, until he took a tentative step forward. He nodded his thanks to Katy, my RA, who looked less than enthused to be standing outside my door. I could only imagine what she was thinking, having seen the rumors about me (that I was sure were circulating around campus) being proven true right before her very eyes. She cast one more side-long glance my way before heading back down the hallway to the main lobby. Sean paid no attention to her, however, as he walked into my dorm room and closed the door behind him.

I couldn’t bring myself to move, whether due to apathy or simply because I’d been eating less and less every day and just didn’t have the energy to do so – today’s singular meal was just a cheap little granola bar I’d had for breakfast. Sean crossed to where I was seated on my bed, but instead of sitting next to me, he squatted before me and gently took my hands in his.

“Jesus, Morgan,” he said softly. “Are you okay?”

No. No I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t remotely okay, but I couldn’t let him know that. “I’m fine. Just sat up too fast. I’m good,” I nodded, hoping to sound convincing.

Sean still looked skeptical, and if I wasn’t mistaken, a little...afraid? “Fine? Morgan, I’m seriously worried here,” he said, gesturing around my room. I looked around and saw what he did – a pile of unwashed microwaveable bowls, an overflowing basket of unwashed laundry, a mess of books and papers littering the desk. “Where’s your roommate?”

 _Shit._ He’d apparently noticed the empty bed and desk, too. “She moved out,” I mumbled.

He ducked his head to look me in the eye. “Why did she move out?”

I couldn’t answer him. I just shook my head, let it hang until my chin touched my chest, doing my best to hide my tears from him.

I felt both his hands on either side of my face gently lift my chin until I was looking up at him again. “Morgan, honey, what happened? Please talk to me,” he implored.

The look in his eyes would have broken my heart if it weren’t already in pieces. I finally started talking, or at least trying to between the most recent round of sobs and hiccups to catch my breath. “Because of you...us...I told her about us. She said terrible...awful things, about both of us. I just got sick of her saying everything and I...slapped her. She left, and that was the last time I saw her.”

Sean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “You slapped her? What the hell did she say to make you slap her?”

I couldn’t answer him. For all I knew, she was absolutely right about him, and I just knew no matter what I said, he’d deny everything and try to convince me that she was wrong. The thing of it was that now I knew better – his conversation with “Melissa” ran through my mind yet again, which caused my stomach to lurch in something like disgust.

“Baby, I need you to talk to me,” he pleaded, but I remained silent. He came up and sat on the bed next to me and placed one warm hand on my back between my shoulder blades. After a few minutes, he asked, “Have you really been going to classes like you said?” Apparently my appearance and that of my room indicated otherwise. I nodded, keeping my eyes focused on my hands in my lap. “Eating?” I shrugged; surely he had seen the all the bowls stacked up on top of the microwave. “Morgan, have you eaten anything besides Ramen?” I shrugged again, not wanting to admit just how bad I’d let myself go. He just sighed heavily next to me.

“Okay,” he said with a sudden resolve. He got up and went to my closet, found my overnight bag and began packing it, rifling through my drawers and tossing in a change of clothes and other things I would most likely need for...whatever he had planned, apparently. Once he finished, he came back to me, kneeling before me again. “Sweetheart, you have me pretty worried here. We need to get you out of here and get some actual food in you. Have you slept or bathed or anything all week?” My silence was his answer. “Okay. Come on. Let’s get your socks and shoes and get going.”

I numbly sat and watched as he slid a pair of socks over my feet then helped me put my shoes on. He took my hands and pulled me off the bed then held my jacket for me to slip my arms into. “Got your keys?” he asked, and I grabbed my key ring from where I’d thrown it when I got back from classes today. He nodded, held the door open for me, and followed me into the hall where I shouldered my purse and locked the door. My heart throbbed and broke when he tentatively took my hand in his and lead me down the hall and towards the parking lot.

“Where are we going?” I wondered out loud once we got to his car.

“I’ve got a room at the Marriott. Thought we could use some privacy away from your roommate. Didn’t realize...” he trailed off. “Sounds like you could use some time away, though,” he added after a moment, glancing over at me. “You gonna tell me what happened?” I just kept staring down at my hands as my fingers played with the toggles on my jacket. Another moment of awkward silence passed. “So, I was thinking of just getting room service, maybe order a pizza. Anything sound good?”

All I could do was shrug. 

Once we got into his room, he helped me out of my jacket and invited me to sit on the bed while he made a phone call for pizza delivery. _God forbid you be seen in public with me,_ I couldn’t help but think. When he finished his call, he turned his full attention to me, pulling a chair up to the bed to sit right in front of me at the foot of the bed, his forearms resting on his knees. He placed his fingers beneath my chin and urged me to look at him. “Morgan,” he began, “I don’t know what I did to get the silent treatment, but it’s killing me to see you like this and not know why or what to do. Please, baby. Please talk to me.”

I looked at him through my watery eyes for a long minute, not exactly sure where to start. Did I call him out on being involved with another woman? Did I tell him exactly what Hailey had said and done? That I might be pregnant? Either way, I had to tell him something. “I...there’s a lot, a whole fucking lot, and I don’t know what to do. And it’s not just you, but you are part of it.”

Sean nodded. “Wanna start with why you slapped your roommate?”

I sighed heavily. _Here goes nothing_. “She said some pretty terrible things.” I looked at Sean, who looked confused and not a little pissed, and somehow found my voice before he could ask any questions. I just had to get all this out on my own. “That...first time I spent the night with you...I was still with Tyler. And in my head it wasn’t cheating on him, because it was to make him feel good...at least in the long run. As awful as it sounds, I knew I was using you, but figured it was okay because you were at least getting something out of it, too. Well...Hailey didn’t see it that way. She only heard that I was two-timing Tyler with a gross old man. And then when I told her about us being together, and let it slip that you asked me to marry you, and everything that happened with mom and dad. She said she didn’t blame dad for kicking me out, that us being together was gross, and...God, Sean, she said we were just this side of statutory rape and incest and that I’m just a cheating bitch.” I looked back down at my fingers and mumbled, “That’s when I hit her. She cleared all her stuff out while I was at class the next day, and left a message for me on the wall...bright red lipstick... ‘Enjoy the room, slut.’”

“Morgan, that’s awful,” he said softly, his voice full of emotion, and leaned forward to hug me, but I leaned back out of his reach.

“That’s...that’s not all that happened.” I took another breath, but had long since given up trying to control my tears, forcing myself to just push through and get it all out at once. “So, the first day of class, and it turns out I have Basics of Marketing with Tyler. Guess Hailey got to him and told him, well, _her_ version of everything, so who knows what she said to him...but I was sitting there in the classroom and he walked right by me and all I said was ‘Hi,’ and clear as day for everyone else to hear, he called me a slut, right as the professor was walking in.” I swallowed hard, trying not to start out right sobbing at the memory. “I’ve been getting looks from everyone...everywhere I go, I can just hear them whispering. Between Hailey and Tyler, I have no idea how many people have heard their story or what they think of me.” I could feel Sean getting ready to say something, but before he could I held a hand up in front of me, “And before you start with ‘who cares what they think of you,’ well apparently I do. It’s easy to sit there and say don’t worry about other people, but when it’s you they’re talking about, it’s really fucking hard not to care.”

I had started almost panting, trying to just catch my breath in between sobs. “So that’s been my week. I’ve been avoiding everyone as much as I could, getting to classes just as they start and staying in my room the rest of the time. Not that going to class does anything for me, since I can’t concentrate on anything at all other than how absolutely shitty I feel. So yeah, all I’ve had all week is Ramen and granola bars. I can’t remember the last time I had a shower or a full night’s sleep. I just...I just don’t care anymore.”

I finally allowed myself to break down crying; with as much as I’d been doing these past few days, I was surprised to still have any tears left...well, I would have been if I cared. Instead, all I cared about was Sean’s arms that had found their way around me and were holding me so tight, just shy of painful, but it was just what I needed. To finally feel secure and protected, even just for a moment, as he let me cry it out into the front of his shirt.

Eventually, the crying stopped, or at least eased itself into hiccupping sobs. A sharp knock broke the silence in the room. I wasn’t sure how long he’d held me like that, but it was apparently long enough for the pizza guy to make his way to our door. Sean slowly released me, but only moved after looking me right in the eyes, silently telling me he’d be right back.

When he returned, Sean placed the pizza box and bottles of soda on the dresser next to the TV. “Didn’t think about plates,” he said, almost apologetically. “Hope you like supreme. We’ll at least pretend to get some vegetables in you.” He grinned at that and offered me a slice. I had to admit, the feeling of eating solid food was really nice, but I still didn’t have much of an appetite. I nibbled and sipped, trying to ignore Sean watching me as I ate.

Once he was apparently satisfied with my being fed, he started questioning me, always gently so as not to upset me any more than I already was. “So...incest?”

I shrugged. This one was easy to answer, at least. “Because you and dad are so close, like brothers. Because you’re like family.”

He frowned and nodded solemnly. “And that’s why you couldn’t talk to me? Why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“No,” I said emphatically, shaking my head. “I knew...know...better.”

His face relaxed a little in relief, then returned to genuine concern. “So...why were you avoiding me?”

 _Dammit._ I should’ve known he’d get right to the point. I shrugged and played with the cap to my bottle of soda, trying to buy myself some time. I wasn’t sure I could just come right out and accuse him of cheating on me...or at least of using me like Hailey suggested. He said my name again, softly, and waited until I was looking at him again. He obviously wasn’t going to drop the subject.

I took one more deep breath before beginning, “It’s just...a lot of what Hailey said makes sense. I mean, we hardly ever went out in public together. It’s like you didn’t want to be seen with me. Not that you were ashamed of me, but like...like you knew this was wrong or something.”

“We were in the middle of an ice storm,” he countered flatly.

“Yes,” I conceded, “but not the whole time I was living with you. The first time you took me out, we went to the next town over.”

“The restaurant was also close to the movie theater,” he added. “And, I’m just thinking back here, but the grocery store and the mall are pretty darn public places, don’t you think?” He had me there. Just because it wasn’t an actual date didn’t mean those trips were any less important. He was absolutely right about being stuck indoors because of the ice storm. “I know we ate in a lot,” he continued, “but I’m not one to go out for every meal. I just...prefer eating at home. Morgan,” he took both my hands in his, setting my soda bottle on the mattress, “I hope you’d know I’m never ashamed to be with you. I never have been. I’m not trying to hide you away or anything. I’m proud and consider myself incredibly lucky to be with you.” He made sure I was looking at him again before going on. “I’m floored that such a beautiful, smart, down-to-earth...genuinely remarkable woman is with me, and I would love to parade you around, showing off the woman I love to all the world.” He tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear. “It just hasn’t worked out that way for us yet. We only had a week and a half together, really.”

I blinked up at him. His side of things made a lot more sense than what Hailey had said. Still...

“She’s right about me, though. I threw myself at you. I practically begged you to fuck me.” My cheeks reddened in shame as I admitted the ugly truth about myself. “Who begs someone to take her virginity, other than a slut?”

Sean nodded thoughtfully. “We might have moved a little fast, not that I put up much of a fight or anything. But sweetheart,” he readjusted on the edge of the bed, “it’s not like we’re in a ‘normal’ relationship here. We’ve known each other for a _long_ time. The love was already there, it just...changed into a new kind of love. Could we have waited a while to have sex? Sure. But I’m not going to sit here and lie and say I never thought of you like that before you came over that time. Christ, Morgan, you’ve been on my mind in all kinds of scenarios since the day I kissed you the first time.”

That caught my attention. I looked up at him and blinked away my tears. “Really?” I whispered.

“First I just wanted to keep kissing you. I would have, too, if we hadn’t been at your parents’ house. And when you went off to college, I just kept wanting to call you or...anything just to talk to you. I missed you more than you know for those first two months. I just wanted to be with you. I even tried dating someone just to get you off my mind, but the whole time I was out with her, I just thought of you.” Well, that explained the box of condoms. I wondered briefly if Melissa was this other woman. He continued, “When you called and asked to give _me_ a blow job... I would hope you knew me well enough to know that under normal circumstances, I would never help someone cheat on someone else, but that night...I couldn’t care less how this Tyler would feel. I wanted you, and wanted you for myself. I still do.

“And I swear to God, Morgan, if I catch wind of this Hailey or Tyler and find out they actually have been spreading these kinds of terrible things about you...” he trailed off. He was visibly upset, which made one of the knots around my heart loosen just a little bit. He actually did care about me. “This Hailey bitch has another thing coming if she thinks she can get away with shit like that. And Tyler just sounds like a little punk who’s pissed that he got replaced.”

He took a long breath before beginning again, this time in a much softer voice. “Morgan, I love you. It’s not like I just propose to any girl...woman...that comes along. I can’t wait to marry you, to call you my wife.” I grimaced at that, and Sean obviously noticed. “But I’m going to stick to my promise before going any further,” he said, his voice adamant.

I was a little confused. I wracked my brain for what promise he could be talking about, but everything was stuck in a fog.

He looked down at the bedspread between us, my hands still in his. “Do you...do you still feel the same way about me?”

His voice was shaking now, ever so slightly. I’d never heard him sound so unsure of himself. It almost broke my heart to hear. Still, I didn’t know how to answer him. I had my own questions that hadn’t been answered yet. I wanted to ask about a ring, but that just made me feel even worse, like I was some kind of gold digger. I supposed the only real question left was about Melissa. The way Sean had just laid all of his feelings out like he had made me think maybe I had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

So now I was stuck. I couldn’t give him an answer either way. I did still love him, but even with him explaining away most of my doubts, and even if I was wrong about whoever Melissa was to him, could I honestly say I felt the same way as I had a week ago? But then, if I lied and said yes, I would never have those questions answered. How could I bring them up if not right now?

Then there was the question that he couldn’t answer for me: was it possible I was pregnant?

Just the idea of telling him made me feel nauseous...which I took as an excuse to get out from under his scrutinizing gaze. I mumbled a quick apology and climbed off the bed, headed for the bathroom. After using the toilet (thankfully not getting sick), I went to wash my hands. I had barely glanced at myself in the mirror and immediately took a double take. God, I looked awful. I could carry any number of things in the bags under my bloodshot eyes. My hair hung limply around my face, shiny with oil from my not having bathed in...I didn’t even know how long.

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take a shower, but I knew Sean was still out there, waiting for me, for my answer, and I still didn’t know exactly how to tell him. Hell, I didn’t really know _what_ to tell him.

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to move it away from my face, and took a deep breath, deciding that I might as well go and give him my answer. Sean’s words, him talking about wanting to marry me, spun around and around in my mind and wrapped themselves around my heart. That man loved me, and I loved him. Fuck Hailey for putting all this doubt in my brain. I had told her that she just didn’t know Sean, that she was only seeing the surface of our relationship. He’d supported me since even before we’d become a couple, every step of the way. He gave up his best friend to be with me. If I was pregnant, we’d figure it out. It’d be scary as hell, but we would manage, work everything out together.

Feeling about a million times better than I had moments ago, I held my head up high, straightened my shoulders, and reached for the doorknob to return to the main room and tell him exactly how I felt.

It was his voice that stopped me in my tracks.

“Hey there, hon. ... Yeah, I made it okay. ... No, not yet. Let’s just say I had a change of plans once I got here. ... Still working on that, actually. ... I don’t know. ... I don’t _know!_... No, I don’t think that’d be a good idea right now. ... What about on your end? ... Yeah, that’s about what I figured. ... He’s gotta know by now, though, right? ... Wait, you didn’t tell him?! ... Oh, come _on!_ ... You really think waiting til the last minute is a good idea? ... Have you _met_ the guy? ... Alright, he’s your husband. I just don’t... Fine, I’ll let you handle it. ... I was, but now... At this point, I don’t know. I hope so, but...things aren’t going exactly as I planned. ... Let’s stick to the plan and if things aren’t working like we want, I’ll let you know as soon as I can. ... Alright, thanks, hon. ... See you soon, I hope. Bye.”

I stood there frozen, eventually hanging my head and letting yet another batch of hot tears run down my face. My suspicions, as far as I was concerned, had just been confirmed. Surely that was Melissa yet again, and they were in fact planning something...something that his being here with me was screwing up. _He’s your husband._ He was messing around with a married woman? Or, rather, was he messing around with me?

I felt sick all over again. I ran to the toilet and threw the seat up, banging it loudly against the tank, and emptied my stomach into the porcelain bowl. I was sobbing uncontrollably in between retches. I jumped back violently when I felt a hand on my back; amid all the noise I was making, I hadn’t heard Sean come into the bathroom with me.

“Get away from me!” I shouted.

He looked shocked, confused, hurt, and I didn’t care. “Morgan...honey, what’s...”

“No!” I yelled back at him. I tried pushing myself to my feet, but was far too shaky to support myself yet after getting sick. He caught me, wrapping his arms around me, and held me against him. I summoned what little strength I had to push myself away from him and leaned heavily on the counter. “Who was that?”

“Who was...”

“Who were you just talking to?!” I screamed in near hysterics. I didn’t even wait for his answer. “Was it _her_?”

“Morgan, who...”

“ _MELISSA_!” I yelled back at him. “I know you’ve got something going on with her!” I could feel bile rising toward my throat again and fought to swallow it back down. “It’s one thing to talk to her on the phone when you’re already Skyping with me, but to call her when you’re here _with me?!”_ He went to reach for me again, but I slapped his hands away, losing my balance in the process. The next thing I knew, my feet were lifted off the floor and I was being carried back to the bed. As soon as my back hit the mattress, I curled into the fetal position and sobbed hysterically, screaming my throat raw into the pillow.

I was just beginning to calm down when I felt him sit next to me on the bed. I wanted to move away from him, but my energy had all been sapped out of me, so I was forced to just stay where I was.

“Morgan,” he whispered and gently put his hand on my back, his thumb stroking over my shoulder in a slow, soothing motion. I tensed underneath his touch, which must have clued him in on the fact that I was still awake. “Morgan, look at me,” he said calmly and waited for me to do as he asked. “I guess we aren’t done talking things out, huh?” He smirked a little, and I just stared right back at him. I sure as hell hoped he was asking rhetorically. “Look, I will tell you everything you want to know about me and Melissa, but sweetie, I need you to calm yourself down. All this can’t be good for you. I’ve run you a bath...will you let me help you?”

The last thing I wanted was to be naked in front of him right now, but the idea of actually getting clean along with his promise of information was too much to turn down. Rather than answer him verbally, I just nodded and lifted my arms for him to take my hands. Instead of pulling me up, he slid his arms beneath my body and lifted me, cradling me against his firm chest. I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around his neck and let my head rest on his shoulder.

We returned to the bathroom, where Sean had in fact run a bubble bath for me in the whirlpool tub (I was apparently too upset to notice it when I had been in there earlier). He asked if I needed help getting into the tub, to which I simply shook my head ‘no.’ To his credit, he didn’t question or put any pressure on me to let him stay. He simply turned and left, closing the door behind him. I peeled my clothes off; a tiny part of my brain wondered how many days in a row I’d worn the same pair of sweats. I eased myself into the swirling water, practically melting into it. The sudden warmth surrounding me instantly helped to relax my back and shoulders, now sore from crying so hard. There was a low throb pulsing at my temples, but even that began to fade as soon as I noticed it thanks to the lavender scented steam rising around me.

A soft knock sounded on the door. “Come in,” I allowed Sean in with a low, ragged voice once I was sure the bubbles were strategically placed so he wouldn’t see anything I didn’t want him to right now. He was wearing a pair of swimming trunks; apparently he planned on joining me in the tub. I was glad he at least realized I wasn’t in a good state of mind to try anything physical at the moment. He carefully stepped into the tub, sitting opposite me, letting our legs tangle in the center, between us.

“So,” he began after a long, quiet moment. “What do you want to know?”

“Who is she?” was the only question I could come up with. Sean thought a minute before speaking, his mouth quirking up in a smirk, then a grimace paired with a snort of derisive laughter. “What?” I challenged him. How _dare_ he laugh at me!

He shook his head, “It’s just...I know you’ve been through a lot this week, more than you’ve told me, I’m assuming...so I’m trying not to feel hurt that you don’t trust me, that you think I’d sneak around on you.” He met my eyes again, sighed, and began explaining. “Melissa and I go way back. We met in college, actually. Had the same major for a while, so we had almost all our classes together. We joked that I was on the productive end, she was on the producing end.”  He saw my look of confusion and continued, “She works at a publishing company...the publishing company that offered me a book deal this past week. She’d been pushing it for me for a while now, and her boss kept squashing the idea...but he retired, effective since the first of the year.” He leaned forward and took my hands in his, wrinkled though they were. “That’s why she called that night we were Skyping. She couldn’t officially offer me the contract because his retirement had just gone into effect, but she’s taking his place in the company. This is a _huge_ step for me, Morgan. I’ve wanted to tell you all week, but _someone’s_ been avoiding me,” he cocked an eyebrow at me.

My head swam a little as I processed everything he’d just told me. A book deal? An actual book deal? I could feel my heart swelling with pride and happiness for him...all while plummeting into my stomach. How could I have thought such an awful thing about him? Now I felt like sheer and utter crap for letting Hailey get to me so badly...so much that I’d doubt Sean, whom I’d known all my life, rather than question a girl I’d known for a few months. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Sean, I...I’m sorry,” I apologized, feeling incredibly lame. “I just...Hailey said all that and then I heard you tell Melissa you wanted to kiss her and I...I’m sorry.”

“That’s what this whole week was about?” he asked incredulously then laughed softly and shook his head. “I’ll admit, when she first gave me the news, yeah, I probably could have kissed her. She’s been working a long damn time to get this through for me. I owe her a lot, but I have a feeling if I would have kissed her, Tom would have had an issue with it.”

“Who’s Tom?”

“Her husband,” he said in a deadpan voice.

I looked down at the layer of bubbles floating on the surface of the water, not wanting Sean to be able to see how terribly embarrassed I was. Any of the awful thoughts I’d had about her over the past week were completely uncalled for. If I ever met this woman, I would definitely owe her a great big thank you.

“Was that really all that’s bothering you?” I raised one shoulder, still too humiliated to speak. “Morgan, come on. Let’s have it,” he encouraged me.

I took in a deep breath and released it right away. “It’s stupid,” I tried to wiggle my way out of having to tell him, but the look on his face told me that wasn’t going to work. “I was wondering about...a ring.” My voice faded as the sentence spilled out of my mouth. I brought both hands up to cover my face. God, I felt awful even bringing it up.

Sean took my hand and threaded his fingers through mine. “Sweetheart, I told you already, I’ve got some things I need to do to fulfill my promise to you. Just give me some time. Things got a little screwed up the way we did them, and I want to do this right.” I nodded solemnly. “That all?”

There was one more thing, but when I tried to form the words, they just died on my tongue before they could pass through my lips. Instead, I chickened out and said, “Yeah. I think so.”

“Good,” he said, his smile growing warmer by the second. “Turn around and scooch over here.” I did as he asked while he leaned over the edge of the tub and reached for a bottle of shampoo. “Let me help clean you up, okay?”

He took his time scooping the warm water over my head, wetting my still greasy hair but avoiding letting any water run onto my face. His fingers worked nimbly against my scalp as he worked the lather around; I sank deeper against him as my mind and body relaxed more and more. He washed my hair twice then used my favorite conditioner; he must have brought both bottles from my dorm room without my noticing. As he worked, we talked about other, lighter things. I congratulated him on his book deal, and he told me what the book was about. He asked how classes were going, all things considered, and I told him at least what I remembered, which admittedly wasn’t much.

The next thing I knew, Sean was running a soapy washcloth over my shoulders and neck, scrubbing gently as he washed me clean. His hand drifted over my chest and down my torso, but there was nothing sexual about it. He was simply taking care of me in a way that I desperately needed. It felt absolutely heavenly, not just to be clean, but to be so close to him again, both physically and emotionally. I was already dreading when Sunday came around and I’d have to face reality without him again.

Well, that wasn’t the only thing I was dreading. I still needed to find a way to tell him I’d missed my period. I missed my chance when he asked if there was anything else bothering me. I was just so afraid of how he’d react. We’d talked briefly about having kids one day, after I’d finished school and we were married. I knew no matter what, I’d want to keep this baby, even if it meant raising it by myself, though somehow, deep down, I also knew that Sean would never leave me if that were the case. He wouldn’t strand me to raise his child alone. I definitely knew that now. Still, this would be a shock to him; I could only hope he’d take the news in stride.

After he was done cleaning me, head to toe, he brought his strong hands up to my shoulders to begin working the knots and kinks out of the muscles there. I melted like butter against him, moaning when he hit a particularly tender spot.

When he’d finished, I turned slowly and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my chest against his and smiling when his arms came around my waist. “I love you, Sean.”

“I love you, Morgan,” he whispered. “Promise me, please, if something is ever bothering you, no matter what it is, that you’ll tell me. I can’t bear thinking how close I came to losing you because of some idiot girl running her mouth and scaring you. Promise me you’ll talk to me.” I nodded against him and he tightened his grip around me. “Come on,” he said as he carefully stood up to get out of the tub. “Let’s get you out of here and into your pajamas. Think you can eat a little more? I hardly think one piece of pizza did all that much to get you full,” he said, drying himself off. When he finished, he tossed his towel on the floor and held a fresh one to wrap me in once I’d stepped onto the bathmat.

The heat from the bath mixed with the emptiness of my stomach made me lightheaded, so Sean helped me dry off then dress before guiding me back to the bed, which looked more than comfortable at this point. Once I was tucked in, he brought me a large piece of cold pizza, which I practically inhaled. It’s amazing how, when one clears the air of a bunch of things that had been bothering a person, one’s appetite picks up. I didn’t want to overdo it on the pizza, seeing as how I hadn’t had any real solid food for close to a week, so I stopped after the one piece, deciding already that I couldn’t wait for breakfast.

Sean double checked the door and turned off all but one of the lights then crawled into bed next to me. He took a moment to get settled under the covers, but didn’t turn off the lamp closest to us just yet. “Morgan?” he asked, almost nervously. I looked over to him and waited for his question. “I don’t know how much longer I can go, but you were so upset earlier I didn’t want to assume, but...can I kiss you now?”

I smiled and flung myself (as best I could from a seated position) into his arms and pressed my lips to his. His hand came up behind my head, the other across the small of my back, pulling me closer to him as our lips met again and again, kissing like long lost loves finally reunited.

As badly as I wanted him, wanted him to make me feel good as only he could, I was hit with a sudden wave of exhaustion. He started kissing down my neck, but I had to pull away from his embrace to yawn, and blushed furiously when he started chuckling. “I’m sorry, Sean. I just...I’m so tired. Can we just...hold each other tonight?”

Without saying a word, he leaned over and turned off the light, then snuggled down beneath the covers and pulled me against him so I could feel his warm body spooning behind me. His arm draped over my side with his hand landing on my belly. I knew I’d have to tell him, that he deserved to know that there was a possibility. _No time like the present, right?_

“Baby?” I started, barely louder than a whisper. My voice was shaky and my mouth had suddenly gone dry. He hummed his response, indicating he was listening. “Um...there’s one more thing, and I didn’t know...I still don’t know how to tell you.” He shifted behind me; I could feel him leaning over and looking down at me through the darkness, waiting for me to continue. I took one last, low breath and told him, “I’m...I’m late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading - please review!

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the end...I promise. I wanna draw this out a little, have some fun with it. Hope you enjoyed it!


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